Chapter 19-Cutting Ties #3
"Maybe."
"Not maybe. Definitely." I stood up. Walked to the window. "Charlotte says twenty percent. Twenty percent chance he keeps me on. Eighty percent chance everything I've worked for is gone by two PM today."
Richard didn't respond. Didn't offer empty reassurances or promises that it would be okay. Just let the truth sit between us.
"I spent years building this," I said to the window.
To the city spread out below. "Years proving I was good enough.
Smart enough. Controlled enough to deserve success.
" I pressed my palm against the glass. "And it doesn't matter.
None of it matters. Because Crowe spent years building his case while I was checking locks and pretending I was safe. "
"You did everything right," Richard said.
I almost laughed. "Did I? Because from where I'm standing, every choice I made led here. Every wall I built. Every time I chose control over vulnerability." I turned to face him. "Every time I pushed you away."
Richard stood. Crossed to where I was standing by the window. Stopped close enough to touch. Didn't.
"You're not responsible for Crowe's choices," he said. "Or your father's."
"Aren't I? I flagged those documents. I exposed Crowe. I built my entire career on being perfect and controlled and?—"
"Human," Richard interrupted. "You are human.
You found evidence of jury tampering, and you did your job.
That's not a crime. That's not a weakness.
That's you being exactly who you've always been.
" His voice went lower. "Brilliant. Thorough.
Unwilling to compromise your integrity even when it costs you everything. "
The words cut too close.
"It's going to cost me everything," I said. "Morrison. The firm. My reputation. My—" I stopped. Couldn't say you out loud when I didn't know if that was true.
Richard reached for my hand. That time I let him take it.
"You haven't lost me," he said.
"Yet."
"Ever." He took a breath. "I fell in love with you somewhere between the Hendricks trial and that elevator — before any of this, before Crowe, before you knew how to let anyone in. And I've been waiting ever since for you to believe you're worth staying for."
The words settled somewhere deep enough to hurt. Heavy. Real.
I wanted to believe him.
"We should go," I said.
Richard checked his watch. "It's 12:26. Morrison's office is fifteen minutes away."
He didn't move toward the door yet. Just held my hand and looked at me with that unhurried patience I didn't know how to deserve.
"I need you to know something," he said. "Whatever happens in that meeting — whatever Morrison decides, whatever comes next — I'm not going anywhere."
"Okay," I said. The word felt like surrender.
Richard didn't smile. Just nodded. Grabbed his keys.
12:42 PM.
The elevator ride was silent. Richard didn't try to fill it. Didn't ask if I was ready. Didn't offer reassurances I wouldn't have believed anyway. Just stood beside me while the numbers ticked down.
In the parking garage, he opened my car door. Waited until I was settled before closing it. Got in the driver's seat. Didn't start the engine.
"What do you need?" he asked.
The same question he had asked me that morning in the conference room. When everything was falling apart, and I didn't know how to answer.
"I need—" I stopped. Started again. "I need Morrison to believe me. I need the Bar investigation to be fast. I need my father to have never lied to me. I need Crowe to have never existed. I need—" My voice broke.
Richard waited. Didn't push. Didn't fill the silence. Just gave me space to finish.
"I need to believe that choosing you isn't the biggest mistake of my life."
The words came out raw. True. Terrible.
Richard turned to face me. "It isn't," he said. "And when this is over — when Morrison makes whatever decision he's going to make, and the Bar investigation runs its course, and you've stopped running from the only person who's ever really seen you —" He took a breath. "You'll know that too."
Richard started the engine. The drive to Morrison Plaza took twelve minutes. Neither of us spoke.
I stared out the window and tried to remember how to breathe. Tried to summon Sunshine Blaire, one last time. Tried to believe that choosing truth over control was the right choice, even when it was costing me everything.
Richard pulled into the parking garage. Found a spot on the third level. Turned off the engine.
We sat in silence.
12:54 PM.
Charlotte was probably already there. Already preparing. Already building the case for why Morrison should keep me on when every incentive said he should cut ties and run. Already doing what I should have been doing. Except I couldn't seem to make my body move.
We got out of the car and walked side by side to the elevator.
"I'll wait in the lobby," he said.
The elevator doors opened, and I pressed 42. Watched the numbers climb.
My hands shook. My vision blurred. I couldn't find Sunshine Blaire no matter how hard I looked.
The doors opened on forty-two.