Chapter Seven #2
When had she last felt this…present?
Ruby caught her eye and smiled, and Celeste’s breath caught. There was something magnetic about Ruby when she was passionate about something. Her whole body leaned into the conversation, her hands moved to illustrate points and her laugh came so easily.
This was who Ruby was underneath the cocky teenager Celeste had remembered. This warm, curious, generous person who gave away priceless art because she believed beauty should be shared.
And Celeste wanted—
No. She couldn't let herself want. Wanting led to hoping, and hoping led to disappointment. Worse, it led to risk. And she couldn't risk what she had: her family, her children, her place in the world.
Her phone buzzed again.
Braden: How's it going with Ruby?
Celeste: Stop it.
Braden: That's not a denial.
Celeste: We're having lunch. That's all.
Braden: Sureee.
Celeste set her phone down hard against the table.
Noah excused himself to use the restroom and as he did so, Ruby turned to Celeste. “Thank you,” she said. “For being so patient with the detour. I know it's not easy for you.”
“You're right, it's not. But it's not terrible either.”
Ruby's smile could have powered the entire town. “I'll take 'not terrible.' That's practically a glowing endorsement from you.”
“Don't let it go to your head.”
“Too late.”
They were laughing when Noah returned, and he looked between them with a satisfied expression. After lunch—which he insisted on paying for despite their protests—and after he'd also ordered them dinner and provided exact instructions on how to heat the pot roast, they walked back to the store.
The antique store owner led them up a narrow staircase Celeste hadn't noticed before, hidden behind a tall bookshelf. The stairs creaked under their weight, and Celeste had a brief moment of wondering if they were safe before Noah reached the top without incident.
The room was small but clean, with sloped ceilings and a window overlooking the street. There were hardwood floors, a kitchenette, a dresser with a tilted mirror and one bed.
Of course there was one bed.
The bed was a double, not even a queen. The kind of bed that would require them to be acutely aware of each other's presence all night long. That would mean lying in the dark, listening to Ruby breathe, feeling the mattress shift every time she moved.
“Bathroom's through there,” Noah said, pointing to a door on the far wall. “Fresh towels in the cabinet. Make yourselves at home. I'm closing up early to visit a friend, but I'll be back early tomorrow morning, just in time for the shipment to arrive.”
He was already heading back down the stairs before either of them could respond, his footsteps echoing in the narrow space.
“Hey.” Ruby's voice was soft, careful. “What are you thinking?”
“That we'd better hope Noah isn't a serial killer.”
Ruby laughed, the sound breaking some of the tension. “If he is, he's a really considerate one. Did you see him pay for our lunch? That's advanced-level manipulation.”
“I've seen too many cases of women being put in vulnerable situations. Things that seem innocent until they're not.”
It was true. She'd seen it over years of practice—women who trusted the wrong people, who let their guard down in the wrong moments.
But that wasn't what was making her nervous.
Not really. What made her nervous was how much being around Ruby made her inclined to let her guard down, which was equally as dangerous.
“We're going to be safe. I promise.” Ruby whispered, drawing closer. A pause. “Plus, I know martial arts. Krav Maga, to be specific, and Noah's like seventy. I could take him.”
Despite everything, Celeste smiled. “Martial arts?”
“Very beginner-level martial arts, but he doesn't need to know that.” She moved into Celeste's line of sight, ducking her head to catch her eye.
The gesture was oddly endearing. “Seriously, if you're uncomfortable, we can leave right now.
Find a hotel in the next town over. I shouldn't have pushed for this.”
Celeste met her gaze, seeing that Ruby's eyes were clear, with no trace of manipulation or hidden agenda. Just genuine concern.
When had someone last looked at her like that? Like her comfort mattered more than their own wants?
“No, it's—” Celeste took a breath, trying to organize her thoughts into something coherent. “I'm fine. Just not used to impulsive decisions.”
“I noticed.” Ruby’s tone was teasing. “Your spreadsheet probably has a spreadsheet.”
“It does, actually. You just never know.”
“Of course it does.”
They stood there, the waning evening light slanting through the window between them. She became hyperaware of the space separating them, maybe two feet, close enough to notice the way Ruby's pupils dilated slightly. The way she swallowed, her throat moving.
If she wanted to, she could close that distance in one step and find out if Ruby's skin was as soft as it looked, if her lips were as warm.
And that was exactly why she needed to move.
Celeste took a deliberate step back. “I'm going to use the bathroom and freshen up.”
She grabbed her toiletry bag and escaped before Ruby could respond, closing the bathroom door and leaning against it. Her entire body was shaking.
The reflection in the mirror looked flushed, like someone on the edge of making a terrible mistake.
Get it together, she told herself firmly.
But her heart wouldn't listen. It continued hammering against her ribs and kept reminding her of how close Ruby had been. How easy it would be to just—
No.
Celeste turned on the faucet, splashing cold water on her face. The shock of it helped with grounding her back in reality.
She couldn't let herself feel what she was feeling. Because Ruby was everything Celeste couldn't have. She'd seen what happened when people like her came out and the accompanying disappointment. The shame.
Her family loved her, but that love came with conditions she'd always met. The successful daughter, the devoted mother and respectable lawyer. Everything they'd sacrificed for, everything they'd dreamed she could become.
If she came out, she'd lose all of the pride and trust they had in her. The twins would grow up seeing their family fracture, watching their mother become the subject of whispered conversations and pitying looks.
They would already have to put up with the judgement from less open-minded people because their father was gay. To have their mother come out as a lesbian on top of it would be cruel to them. And her family? They already judged Braden for his decision to come out. Well, that wasn’t fair.
They judged him because they believed he had betrayed her, but at the end of the day, the result was the same. If she also came out, it would make an already complicated situation much, much worse.
She couldn't do that to them. To any of them.
Even if Ruby was interested—which was a massive assumption—what could Celeste offer her? A relationship that could never be acknowledged, never be real?
Ruby deserved better than that. She deserved someone who could love her openly and without fear.
And Celeste wasn't that person. She didn't know how to become that person.
She looked at herself in the mirror, at the lines of tension around her eyes and the tightness in her jaw.
Stop, she told her heart, which was still thrumming with want and hope and dangerous possibility. What you want can never happen.