Chapter Fifteen #2
Ruby pointed to the stuffed alligator, bright green with ridiculous googly eyes. The attendant handed it over, and she immediately presented it to Celeste with a flourish.
“For you, my lady.”
Celeste took the alligator, trying not to show how much the gesture touched her. It was silly, just a carnival prize. But Ruby had won it for her with such determination and such obvious delight in the accomplishment.
“Thank you.” She held on to the alligator as if it were made of diamonds. Precious. Because it was.
“You're welcome. Now you have something to remember New Orleans by.”
Like I could ever forget, Celeste thought.
They moved on to other games. Ruby failed spectacularly at the water gun race and Celeste surprised them both by winning at balloon darts. They sampled pralines from a vendor who swore her recipe had been passed down for five generations, the sugar melting on Celeste's tongue.
“Try this.”
She tore off a piece of her beignet and held it out for Celeste to take. Powdered sugar dusted her nose and chin.
Celeste leaned in to take the bite, then laughed. “You're covered in sugar.”
“I know. It's a beignet hazard.” Ruby grinned, completely unself-conscious. “Worth it though.”
Celeste reached up, brushing sugar off Ruby's nose with her thumb. The gesture was intimate, domestic, and for a moment they just stood there in the crowd, looking at each other.
“Come on,” Ruby said finally, her voice slightly rough. “I want to show you something.”
She led Celeste through the crowds to a small stage where a street performer was setting up.
“Ladies and gentlemen!” he called out as a crowd gathered. “Prepare to be amazed by feats of skill, daring, and questionable life choices!”
He proceeded to juggle fire while reciting Shakespeare, the flames arcing through the air in perfect rhythm with his words. “To be or not to be—” A torch spun. “That is the question—” Another torch. “Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer—” All three torches now, a blazing cascade.
Ruby watched with rapt attention and when the performance ended, she whooped and cheered along with the crowd, dropping a generous tip into the performer's hat.
“That was amazing,” Celeste said as they walked away.
“Right? That's what I love about places like this. You never know what you're going to find.” Ruby swung their joined hands between them. “Street performers, random art installations and people just living their best lives.”
Music poured from a nearby stage, jazz, wild and free. A small crowd had gathered, some people dancing and others just swaying to the rhythm.
“Dance with me,” Ruby said.
“I don't dance.”
“You keep saying that, but I think you're lying.” Ruby was already pulling her toward the music. “Come on. Nobody here knows us and neither do they care. Just move.”
“Ruby…”
“Please. For me?”
Celeste let herself be pulled into the crowd of dancing people. Ruby's hands found her waist, and Celeste's arms went around Ruby's neck almost automatically. They swayed together, not quite in time with the music but it didn't matter.
Nothing mattered except this, Ruby's body pressed against hers as the music washed over them and strangers laughed and danced all around. She let herself sink into it and let Ruby lead her through the improvised steps, let herself just feel.
“See?” Ruby said, spinning her. “You can dance.”
“I'm just following you.”
“That's what dancing is.” She pulled her close again and they moved together through another song. When it ended, Ruby kept her arms around Celeste's waist, both of them breathless and grinning.
“This is what I love,” Ruby said. “This freedom. Being able to go anywhere, see anything. Just the open road and whatever adventure comes next.”
The words affected Celeste deeply, even when she knew it shouldn’t.
Of course Ruby valued her freedom above everything, wanted to keep traveling, exploring and keep living this untethered life. Why would she ever give that up?
And Celeste was the opposite of freedom. She had roots and obligations. She was a mother and a daughter and a lawyer with a practice that needed her. She was someone who couldn't even be herself in public, let alone travel the world freely.
What she wanted most—to be by Ruby's side, to follow her on every adventure without fear—was utterly impossible.
The realization settled over her like a shroud.
It was for the best, she told herself. After the festival, she planned to return to her real life anyway. And put everything behind her.
The words felt like lies even as she thought them.
But they had to be true. Because the alternative—admitting that she'd fallen in love with Ruby, that she wanted a future they could never have—would destroy her.
“Come on,” Ruby said now, oblivious to Celeste's internal spiral. “Let's go check out that glassblowing demonstration. It should be starting soon.”
Celeste let Ruby take her hand again, let herself be pulled through the crowds toward the next thing. But part of her stayed behind on that makeshift dance floor, mourning something that had never really been hers to lose.