Chapter 6
C H A P T E R6
Kill For You
Ella
The Present
12:07 a.m.
T he universe was goading me, rubbing salt in my wounds and refusing to give me the reprieve I’d begged for—the one I, respectfully, earned .
Of all the possible outcomes, this one I had not anticipated. Getting paired with my ex-boyfriend for Initiation Night? Plot fucking twist. And not the good kind.
It suddenly made sense why I couldn’t find my teammate in the foyer. Cade must have heard me calling for team six and decided to get a head start. He knew if I realized we were partnered, I would have run from St. Victoria like a bat out of hell.
“We are not trapped. This is all part of the game,” I said through gritted teeth, feeling Cade’s breath stir the short strands of my hair, warming the flesh of my collarbone in a manner far too intimate for exes who were broken beyond repair.
“Mm. You don’t say.” That deep voice, laced with unmistakable hunger, had another involuntary shiver running through my spine. “Do you want to play with me, Ella?”
Goddamn him.
Cade was fighting dirty.
Since our breakup, it was clear he wanted me back and would do everything in his power to achieve that goal. Including throwing our past in my face to remind me of how good we once had it.
Do you want to play with me, Ella?
There was nothing innocent about the request. It was a sentence he’d used many times in the past when we were acting out our filthiest fantasies, right before he brought us to sweet oblivion.
I hated what those words did to my body. The goosebumps on my skin. The tingles running from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. The heat simmering in my core.
And I hated the way Cade crowded me with his close proximity. I used to love it when he overpowered me with his strength when we fucked. There was nothing like being gagged, handcuffed, and clutched by him as I rode him like a rodeo.
Obviously, he remembered this and was using it to his advantage. Asshole .
“No, I don’t want to play with you,” I snarled and spun around in his caging hold to face him. “Get that through your thick skull.”
“You afraid of being alone with me, princess?” he egged on, the bravado in his tone feeling false and…forced. “I thought you’d do anything to be Queen of Initiation Night, especially if it meant making history.”
Fuck.
Cade knew I was hell-bent on breaking the record since last year.
Now he really had me cornered. If I backed out now, I’d be perceived as pathetic because I wasn’t able to suffer through three hours for the sake of winning my prize.
And I never backed down from a challenge.
My Cordova pride—the Leo in me—would not allow it.
“I’m not afraid of anything, Cade,” I retorted with a scoff. “Least of all you.”
His lips curved into a half-smirk. “Prove it, Ella.”
Beyond the walls of St. Victoria, a torrential downpour began, crashing against the windowpanes with a ferocity that mimicked my inner turmoil. I jolted when lightning and thunder joined the cacophony.
The fulminating moment illuminated the inside of the library for a mere second and it was enough for me to finally glimpse Cade.
With a muscular body carved from the finest chisel, a handsome face housing sky blue eyes, an aristocratic nose, a jawline that could cut, sensuous lips harbouring an arrogant tilt, and dark brown hair that was longer on the top and cropped shorter on the sides, he resembled a young god descendant from the heavens. Divine, in a way mere mortals could not comprehend. Magnificent, in a way only an artist’s gaze could appreciate.
As a lover of arts, I used to wish I’d been blessed with the ability to paint visages so I could capture his splendour on a canvas.
Cade Killian Remington, my dark prince, was perfection personified.
From the moment I first laid eyes on him, he’d taken my breath away. Three years later, my foolish heart still bloomed in the presence of its beloved.
Tonight, he wore all-black like me. Black boots, black jeans, black hoodie, black leather jacket. Also like me, I knew his black ski mask was somewhere on his person.
For a fleeting minute, I forgot about all the hurt he caused. All I could think about was how my emotive yearning, despite my pain, was finally sated after weeks of not seeing him.
I wished I didn’t feel this way, but the heart wanted what it wanted.
“Fine,” I snapped. “Let’s get this over with as fast as we can so I don’t have to see your face again.”
Fat chance of that happening when we attended the same university. For the most part, I managed to successfully avoid him on campus. Unfortunately, it was only a matter of time before we crossed paths once more.
My statement had the desired effect on Cade. His smirk dropped and I internally cheered. Since he chose to stay, I assumed he was willing to put up with all the venom I’d spew his way.
Truth be told, I didn’t always have a fiery temper and Cade wasn’t necessarily a glutton for punishment. But our breakup fundamentally changed us in ways that twisted our dynamics into something ugly and a little fatal.
“Did you decipher the riddle?” he asked in a cavalier manner, but the anger in his undertone apprised that my words hurt him.
“ The key resides in the land of fiction ,” I repeated like he was daft. “The land of fiction meaning the library, which we are currently standing inside. Obviously, you and I both figured that out, otherwise we would not be here. And, since there were no other clues, the key, which we are looking for, could be just about anywhere at this rate.”
“I could do without your smart mouth, Ella.” His eyes narrowed. “Since you’re running it anyways, tell me, where should we start searching?”
I almost made an inappropriate comment like ‘ Didn’t hear you complaining about my mouth when I was screaming your name the last time we fucked ,’ but stopped myself from letting that slip. Anything regarding our sex life and past was better left unsaid.
“I’ll work my way through the book aisles. Why don’t you check the common area? Maybe there’s a key hidden by the study tables.”
Not waiting for his response, I side-stepped him and walked deeper into the library so I could finally inhale air that wasn’t tainted by his cologne. His scent was my kryptonite. Cedarwood, musk, leather, and something utterly masculine that drove me crazy.
I used to love burying my face in his neck when we lay together just to get a whiff. And when we made love, there was nothing like the taste of his fragrant skin on my tongue.
“You’re insatiable, sweetheart,” he’d murmur while thrusting savagely inside of my pussy, my legs wrapped around his waist, my mouth latched onto his neck. Sucking. Licking. Nibbling. Begging for more, more, more.
The cadence of my breathing increased as I failed to eradicate memories of Cade from my mind. This was not the time or place to be reminiscing. Nor could I afford to get horny around Cade when he’d been the only guy to slake my hearty sexual appetite.
There were days where I felt haunted by a relationship I feared I’d never get over.
Would the pain ever lessen? Would I ever heal? Would I ever get over him?
Don’t think about the past until you’re finished with Initiation Night, Ella. You don’t have the strength to revisit it right now.
In an attempt to distract myself, I veered straight into the book aisles to begin my search for the key, as far away as possible from Cade.
St. Victoria’s library was an uncanny wonder. Once monastic, its style was a mix between gothic and baroque, featuring dark walls and bookshelves, gold ornate molding, deep alcoves, crystal chandeliers, stained glass windows depicting roses and faith, and a restored painting on the high ceiling, displaying renaissance-inspired art. It was breathtaking, one of the oldest structures in the institute, and there was something holy about it, despite the blasphemous rumours haunting this place.
I began perusing the mystery aisle. I had a hunch the key was wedged between a book—yes, that’s why I sent Cade to the common area because the petty side of me wanted to be the one to find the key—so I used my flashlight to illuminate the weathered spines, while ignoring the way my ex-boyfriend cursed in the background as he overturned tables and chairs in his search.
Minutes later, when I sieved through the romance aisle and made a mental note of the books I wanted to add to my to-be-read list, Cade’s voice intoned behind me, “There’s no key in the common area.”
“ Fuck! ” Caught off guard, I whirled around and my body collided into him. Cade steadied me with hands on my hips. “You trying to scare me or something?”
He smiled darkly. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Ella.”
Bastard. He was teasing me since I enjoyed role-playing those kinds of scenarios. The ones where he pretended to scare me and then fuck my pussy seven ways to Sunday while praising me for being his dirty little princess. With his ski mask on. And yes, it was hot as hell and orgasm inducing. I had a kink and wasn’t ashamed of it.
I was about to reply with a sassy retort when my hip brushed against his stomach and I felt something poking me. You’ve got to be kidding me. “Uh, want to explain to me why you’re hard right now?”
He arched an eyebrow when I aimed my flashlight at his face. “I’m not hard, sweetheart. That’s my gun.”
“You brought a fucking gun to Initiation Night?” I deadpanned.
He chuckled. “Have you forgotten who my dad is?”
Touché.
Vance Remington was a renowned mobster in the underworld, ruling South Side, Montardor for the last two decades. The Remingtons had a long history of being criminals, their pockets fueled from their art and drug empire…as well as other shady dealings. I used to teasingly call Cade my gangster, but as far as the public was concerned, the Remingtons were strait-laced ‘businessmen.’
Vance insisted Cade always carry a weapon whenever we stepped out. However, I hadn’t expected him to bring one tonight. There was no danger here, unless you counted the Initiators who liked to occasionally pull pranks.
“Fair enough.” I palmed my forehead. “Just don’t accidentally shoot anything, okay?” He gave me a blank look and I almost cracked a smile. For all his flaws, he wasn’t irrational. Meaning he wouldn’t engage in a shootout just ’cause some Initiator decided to fuck with him. “Keep looking. It’s got to be here somewhere.”
I turned around and continued sifting through rows of books.
Shuffling footsteps indicated that Cade crossed over to the shelves opposite mine.
The crashing rain acted as a background orchestra as we searched relentlessly. Darla was big on reading and writing romance. Therefore, I was ninety-nine percent sure the key would be hidden somewhere between Pride & Prejudice or Twilight .
But alas, it wasn’t there.
“This is impossible,” I muttered. We were in the library for almost twenty minutes and I was getting nervous about the other dares awaiting us. We should have found the next one already. Especially if we wanted to stay on track.
Last year, I crushed the first dare in ten minutes flat.
If we didn’t find the key fast, we’d be here forever. And that was not an option. You couldn’t win this competition by being stuck on the same dare all night long.
Another worrisome thought skipped in. What if we never make it past this level?
“Say the word and I’ll shoot the locks to get us out of here.”
“That’s not going to help us find the second dare. And as per the rules, we are not allowed to damage anything on school property.”
Cade crossed his arms and rested back against the shelves. “Since when have you cared for the rules, princess?”
I paused, my jaw clenching.
Nobody suspected that underneath my good girl fa?ade was a hellraiser. I’d always been a bit rebellious behind closed doors and dating Cade amplified that side of mine.
He was the calm to my storm, the smoke to my fire, and the other half of my soul.
His comment was a prominent reminder that he was the only one to have known me in that way. I hated it. And sometimes, I wished I could truly hate him too.
“Since now . A lot has changed after we broke up. I’m not the same girl you once knew.” Shaking my head, I cast him a meaningful look and sauntered down the aisle. “I’ve grown. Met new people. Expanded my horizons.”
Footsteps followed after me. “What did you say?”
“You heard me.”
“ Who did you meet, Ella?” he demanded, his deep voice desperate and rough.
The tormented quality of his words had me turning around, brows knitted in confusion. “What—”
Bright lightning and a clap of thunder interrupted me.
The jarring stroke of Mother Nature’s wrath lit up the inside of the library and in that small fraction of time, I caught Cade’s face twisting with anguish. “Who else…after me?”
I was rendered speechless by the realization that his hurt stemmed from the fact that he thought I was talking about other men.
Clearly, Cade was recounting that summer night a few weeks ago where we ran into each other at the bar. I’d put on a great show for him.
I should let him believe that’s what changed. The number of men I’ve taken to my bed. But the truth was I couldn’t bear the touch of anyone except for Cade. And I despised myself for it.
Healing happened in stages. Parts of me were patched up enough to go about my day-to-day, though I was nowhere near ready to take on another lover. My soul still lived in the plane where we once thrived—a place where Cade and I spent years decorating a future that would no longer see fruition.
And it was all his fucking fault.
I couldn’t believe he had the audacity to appear heartbroken at me moving on.
“I don’t owe you any answers, Cade. Not after you ruined us and betrayed me.”
He flinched.
My statement struck a chord.
I’d never convey this to Cade, but what had actually changed were the scars on my heart. They morphed me into this new version, forcing me to face the music and grow up in the span of three months from the teenager who put trivial things on a pedestal to a young adult who understood the consequences and weight of her actions.
Taking advantage of Cade’s momentary silence, I darted out of the romance section and into the horror aisle.
Behind me, Cade’s angry strides echoed as he asked raggedly, “Did you fuck that bastard from the bar to spite me after I beat his ass?”
My finger skimming over the hardbound copy of Dracula , I glanced at him over my shoulder. Acting blasé while visceral agony cascaded over his features. He was getting all verklempt over the thought of me sleeping with another guy. Like the thought of it was so excruciating, he couldn’t withstand it.
Good. Feel pain. Feel what you fucking put me through when I caught you with that other girl.
“What if I did fuck him?” I returned wickedly. “What are you going to do about it, gangster?”
I hadn’t fucked the guy from the bar, but he didn’t need to know that.
A cold, lethal smirk carved over Cade’s face.
He closed the distance between us in three steps, backing my body into the shelf. His hand reached out to cup my jaw and his thumb stroked my cheek in a loving manner.
“I’m going to track him down and chop him to pieces,” he rasped so softly, it barely sounded like a threat. “Then I’ll deliver his head to you on a silver platter, Ella. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? My little bloodthirsty princess.”
My breath hitched from the admission. It appeased my darker side. The one that loved it when Cade got revenge on people who mistreated me.
There was something exhilarating about a morally grey man who protected you and worshipped the ground you walked on.
White knights did not hold a candle to my dark prince.
Cade Killian Remington was the only one I had ever wanted. My dangerous addiction. My favourite sin. And mi alma gemela . I feared, in this lifetime, I was wretchedly cursed to always long for him.
Before I could throw an insulting remark, my gaze drifted over to a faint glimmer at the base of his throat.
A heady buzz rushed through my veins—part euphoria, part swivet—at the unexpected sight of a gold band threaded through a thin chain, looped around his neck like an inseparable keepsake.
It was the promise ring I gifted to him on his eighteenth birthday.
The one that marked him infinitely as mine.
He still wore it.
I nearly swayed, my knees feeling weak.
Cade dragged his knuckles under my chin, tipping it up to meet his inquisitive gaze. “Ella?”
The cuff of his black hoodie caught my eyes.
My heart twisted inside my rib cage.
EXC was stitched in gold threading like a mark of ownership.
It was no secret that I’d been a territorial girlfriend during our relationship. To the point where I sewed my initials on all of Cade’s clothes. And he, in return, loved it, watching me warmly as I went about branding him as mine.
Why has he not gotten rid of all the hoodies etched with my print? Why is he still wearing my ring? Why, why, why…
My mind spun as conflicting emotions waged a war inside of me. Hurt from his betrayal. Indignation, from the casual way he carried the emblems of my love after ripping me apart. Satisfaction, from the fact that after all this time, I never stopped owning him.
Cade made a mistake and he still wanted, still cared, still felt everything for me.
The evidence was right before my eyes.
And he saw first-hand what it did to me, if the glimmer of hope flaring in his blue eyes was any indication.
Mustering the strength to replace my cracked armour, I steeled myself and slapped his hand away. “Get over yourself. I can fuck whoever I want without you threatening bodily harm. Mind your fucking business, Cade.”
“You are my business,” he grated, snatching my hand when I tried to walk away. “You’ll always be my business. No one—no fucking one—will ever lay their hands on you in disrespect. I’ll put a bullet through the skull of anyone who hurts you, Ella.”
Cade promising to keep me safe and defend my honour, despite us not being together, messed with my head while simultaneously causing my heart to soar like a thousand doves taking flight. I was a strong, independent woman, but there was something gratifying about a man who swore to protect you from all harm.
One thing was for certain.
This devastatingly beautiful man, who broke my heart, was still crazily obsessed with me.
“Do you hear me?” he repeated softly, squeezing my wrist, his thumb circling over my fast-beating pulse. “I would kill for you, baby.”
The darkness of the room, the sound of our breathing, and the sonorous weather laced with romanticism heightened every feeling of love and angst.
I searched his eyes for lies, finding only a mixture of longing, vexation, and adoration.
I would kill for you, baby.
God, that statement was akin to an act of worship to me and I loved it.
My own gaze never wavered from Cade’s as I leaned closer, like I was getting ready to kiss him. His Adam’s apple coasted up and down in his neck with anticipation.
Then I went for the kill. “I bet you said that to every girl you cheated on me with, huh?”
Cade fell back a step, stunned. I basked in his ache. It satisfied a sadistic facet of my nature that was previously dormant.
I jerked my wrist out of his hold and pivoted away. At the end of the aisle, there was a magazine stand next to the librarian’s main desk. My flashlight shone over it and I caught something completely out of place.
Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me. That’s where they hid the key?
I marched over to the stand. It had a selection of tame business and journalism magazines. Sometimes there was the occasional Architectural Digest.
But never had there been a Hustler issue sitting smackdab in the middle amongst the rest. It was Shaun’s favourite reading material. The pornographic kind.
I plucked it out of the stand and a bronze key fell to the ground. A piece of paper—the second dare—was threaded through the hole in the bow.
Cade materialized out of thin air and grabbed it. Not having seen or heard him move across the aisle, a bolt of surprise struck me, followed by unmissable heat when he stood to his full six-foot-two frame. He uncurled the fingers of my right hand and deposited the key in my palm.
The pads of his fingers grazed over my heart and life lines.
My breath caught in my throat at the softness of the caress.
The walls of the library juddered with the next claps of thunder. Cade’s gaze gleamed with an unnamed emotion as it bore into mine. “What does it say?”
I opened the scrunched-up paper to reveal the next dare. Wordlessly, we bent our heads together to stare at it.
East Wing
Balthazar Building
X – XIII – XXI
Sixth Floor
A picture is worth a thousand words…
“Balthazar Building—the dormitories?”
“Yeah, I think so,” Cade said quietly. “The roman numerals must be the combination to get inside the building.”
Balthazar Building harboured the abandoned dormitories and was linked to the old bell tower, located in the east wing. The building was off-limits and I’d never seen the inside of it. According to rumours, it was the most haunted place in all of St. Victoria.
“How do you know that?”
“I have a hunch. Shaun once mentioned that you need a code to get inside the building.”
“Ah.” I clicked my tongue. “Makes sense.”
“I don’t understand the ‘ A picture is worth a thousand words… ’ but we can figure it out once we get there.”
“Okay.” I tightened my fist around the key. “Let’s do this.”
Cade swept his hand in front of us almost in a condescending manner. “Ladies first.”
Hah. Now he chose to show his ire and not when I made the cheating comment.
I sashayed to the library doors. Inserting the key, I twisted slowly and the lock unlatched with a soft click.
Gracias a Dios , it worked.
I shoved the doors open and gave Cade a condescending smirk of my own. “Gents first.”
Without sparing me a glance, he walked ahead with the swagger of a young kingpin, his broad shoulders stiff and his posture on high alert as he scanned the dark hallway for any threats.
And unceremoniously, my eyes caught the back of his black leather jacket.
Where I once painted Property of Ximena in stark white.
An old memory flitted into my mind. The day we sat together on a bench in St. Victoria’s courtyard. I decided then and there that he would be mine.
That I’d paint, stitch, and brand my name on every inch of his possessions. So everyone who looked at this boy knew he belonged to me.
Back then, we were so young and naive to the future that awaited us.
My throat dried up and my feet stayed rooted on the ground, unable to move as another rush of turbulent emotions slashed me.
I only had one question for him, but no will to utter it.
Why did you ruin us, Cade?
My ex-boyfriend cheated on me.
He broke my heart.
Yet he still wore all the reminders of our relationship…like he still loved me.