6. Chapter 5
Chapter 5
Seb
I fly until my wings ache and the city lights go from a distant haze to right below me. It started raining as I flew and it’s harder to fly with the water dragging at my feathers and the wind buffeting my body. The bar where I first met Rollie is one of my go to spots, so I’m not surprised that my raven thought to find solace here when I need to rest.
I swoop in to land on the railing of the fire escape. Rollie is still the best treasure I’ve ever brought home. I know I don’t deserve him, even without Marin’s voice ringing in my head telling me how thoroughly I fucked up being leaving the way I did tonight.
I shake my feathers flat, letting the water bead off of them and wishing it was as easy to shake off my current mood. I reclaim my human skin as I hop down onto the little platform outside the bar’s second floor windows. I can’t think properly in my feathers and I need to process what just happened. Besides, I deserve to be cold and shivering in the evening’s drizzle. How could I hump my best friend like some sort of rut-crazed alpha and then run away from him?
Part of me wants to shift and go back to beg for his forgiveness. A bigger part longs to climb down the ladder and enter the shifter bar’s back door. They keep a bin of clothes in various sizes there for situations like this. Shifters can be rough on clothing.
I could walk in, get pleasantly buzzed, and pick up an alpha. Just like I had planned before Rollie turned my world upside down. The thought of sleeping with someone else after what I just did has me feeling ill. Or maybe it’s just the fact that I might have damaged my relationship with Rollie that has my gut roiling.
What just happened?
I kissed my best friend. I kissed him and I liked it and he liked it too. It can’t happen again. Best to put the kiss out of my mind and find the alpha who is going to take me home tonight. And it has to be an alpha with the mood I’m in. No omega could compare to the one I left behind to fly here and a beta would just remind me of why I need to do whatever it takes to keep helping Rollie. Even if that means giving in to Bram’s meddling and applying for a job at the zoo.
It can’t be that bad if my air-head brother can make it work. I might even enjoy it. Maybe. If nothing else, it’s probably a great place to meet other shifters. On second thought, if Rollie and I are going to be playing at being mated, I better not hookup at work.
That would probably get messy. I am not going to think about someone else getting to see Rollie coming the way I got to watch him tonight. His lips are so soft and yielding, his scent the sweetest I’ve ever inhaled. I can’t let myself go there with him again. He deserves so much better than me. I need to forget what we did. I need to stop holding him back from the life and love he deserves. Tomorrow I’ll call about the zoo thing, get both of our meds figured out and then, once he’s stable on the correct dose and form of his medication…once he is ready to thrive as the gorgeous confident omega I already see him as, I’ll have to let him go. This is what I deserve. A rough fuck in a filthy alley, time to remember that.
Resolutely, I climb down into the alley and push through the door to the back hallway at my favorite shifter bar. I dig through the bin of discarded clothing until I find a cute sequin-covered camisole. It’s femme and shimmery and it will show off my back. I pull it on and keep digging until I find a pair of stretchy silver leggings that match decently well.
No need for pockets when I don’t have so much as my phone on me, let alone my wallet or keys. I wince. Well, it’s not like I need any of that to find a hookup.
I wish I had my phone, though. Just so I could let Rollie know I’m safe. And to get home later.
The outfit is a touch tight, designed for a more delicate build. But that just means it shows off my assets better. The shirt exposes my midriff when I lift my arms to dance my way through the crowd on the floor. My abs are flat and toned, my skin smooth, with none of the stretch marks my brother has now. I’ll never have those.
Leggings aren’t usually my favorite, but they make my ass look amazing and I can feel every inch of the alpha who grinds up behind me, nuzzling into my neck to scent me. His hands on my hips are a demand, moving me against him as he gets hard. Using me already. Just the sort of shifter I’m looking for tonight.
“Your place or mine?” he murmurs in my ear. I recognize the voice—Steven. He’s an eagle shifter. Natural enemy. My raven recoils from his scent. Static eagles are a threat to raven chicks, and Steven is just the right amount of threatening to me. He’ll do.
“Yours,” I twist to tell him over my shoulder, letting him grind my body against his erection, all but dry-humping me in the middle of the crowd. His nails dig into my exposed flesh. His smell overpowers the notes of alpha musk in my own scent. Enough that I can pretend they aren’t there. That I smell as sweet and lovely as Rollie.
I try to turn in Steven’s hold, but he tightens his grip and keeps my back pressed to his front. I don’t struggle. Not yet. I’ll put up a token fight when we get to his place.
That will get more of a reaction. I want him to give in to a partial shift, just enough to use his wickedly sharp talons on me while we fuck. Pin me in place and take until I have nothing left to give. Like we’ve done before. Steven is smirking down at me when I glance up at him. He grips my jaw and turns my face for a brutal kiss that tastes of whatever beer he’s been drinking. Doesn’t matter, he lives a short walk away and does this frequently.
We dance for a couple of songs before he gets tired of foreplay and leads me back to his place. The sex is rough enough to clear my head. The sort of brutal fucking I deserve. He shoves me toward his bed and dives on top of me like the predator he is.
Instead of pulling down my pants, he tears the leggings open to access my hole and fucks me through the ripped seam. No condom, even though we’re both avians so there’s a miniscule risk of avian shifter specific STIs. Not enough of a risk for me to say anything. It feels good. Raw. He doesn’t offer me lube, and I didn’t have a chance to apply synthetic slick. Most alphas insist on rubbers to prevent pregnancy. Omegas can get pregnant from sex outside of our heats, but Steven knows that’s not a concern with me.
It hurts when he shoves inside the first time, but I can at least still self-lubricate enough not to make it dangerous. Just uncomfortable without prep. Steven fucks me until I’m wet, the scent of my natural slick in the air is almost enough to make me sob in relief. Not completely broken. Part of me still works the way it’s supposed to. I can still do this much for an alpha.
“Fuck, you’re dry for an omega slut,” Steven grunts as he drives into me.
I whimper. So maybe I can’t. I can’t—
“Feels good. Nice and tight. Almost like you haven’t fucked every alpha at the bar.” He gives my ass a slap. “Work my cock like the good little slut we both know you are, Sebastian.”
So I fuck myself on him, using his dick just as much as he’s using my hole. Until I drive him wild enough that he digs his nails into my flanks and drives in deep, pounding me so hard it hurts. Just the way I like it. We’re both close to coming when Steven pulls out and flips me onto my back, looming over me.
He wraps one meaty fist around my throat, careful not to actually cut off my air, and the other around his dick and jerks himself fast. His knot is already starting to swell. I can’t tear my eyes away from the precum drooling from his tip. My raven is enamored with the way it glistens in the low streetlight coming in through his bedroom windows. I want to lick it up, so I lean toward his dick, into the pressure of his palm.
“Fucking worthless slut, you don’t deserve my knot, do you?” he taunts. I’m pretty sure it’s meant to be sexy, but it just makes me feel even more empty than the loss of his dick inside me. Hollowed out. Marin’s words on another alpha’s lips.
“No, Alpha.” I shake my head, tears stinging my eyes. Maybe he’ll skullfuck me. I’m not ready for this to be over even though at the same time I want to shrink away from him, hide in someplace safe and far from here. My mind flashes to the sumptuous den Rollie and I have made together, my haven. I shove the thought away. I don’t deserve that.
“You barely deserve my load at all tonight, slut.” Steven slaps his cock against my cheek, the startling sound of it making me flinch. His grip loosens a fraction, pulling me out of the moment. “Open wide and stick out that tongue.” Steven shoves his thumb into the corner of my mouth to force my lips wide. He barks a harsh laugh, the role firmly back in place. “You think you earned the right to suck me?”
Then he aims his cock at my face and cums all over me as I vainly try to lick him. He pumps himself hard. I just have time to close my eyes as the first jet of cum splatters over my face, coating my tongue and lips, dribbling down my chin. He moans as he keeps shooting. Alphas make a lot of jizz. Way more than statics. More cum splashes against my face, coating every surface in his sticky warmth.
I breathe through my mouth until he’s done so I don’t accidentally inhale the mess and choke on it. His alpha musk is overpowering, but I lap up as much of it as I can with him pinning me in place. He eventually releases me and I wipe the jizz away from my eyes with the back of my hand.
Now that it’s over, I already know I fucked up by coming here. Oh well. Not like it matters. Avian specific STI testing is another perk of the zoo health insurance I guess. At least I don’t have to worry about passing anything along to Rollie, even if I didn’t have every intention of avoiding a repeat of what happened in the car. Maybe we’d both be better off if I just didn’t go home. I cut that thought off before I can even follow it to the familiar conclusion. I can’t do that to him or my family.
I wish Steven would get off of me already. It’s no surprise that I’m not even hard anymore by the time he stands and lets me up. Steven walks across the room, turns then tosses his dirty boxers at me from where he dropped them in his haste to get inside my ass. He doesn’t glance at me as he says. “Thanks, I needed that. Still having that slick issue, huh?”
“Yeah.” I grimace; it’s pretty obvious. And contrary to the games we like to play, he’s actually a semi-decent guy. For an eagle shifter.
“Well, if you want to stick around for another round, we can use the synthetic slick to help you take my knot next time?”
“Not tonight.” I wipe away his release on his boxers. “I should get going.”
“You sure?” Steven cocks a brow at me, fisting the base of his cock like he’s really like to be milking his knot right now.
“Yeah. Tell me to go?” I ask, because I don’t want him to be nice to me and I don’t like the sympathetic way he’s watching me, his gaze taking in my limp dick and the evidence I didn’t come yet.
Steven sighs and rakes a hand through his hair. “Are you sure you’re good to leave?”
“Yes, my friend will start to worry if I stay out too late.”
“Right. In that case, clean yourself up and get out, slut.” Steven gives me a sad, lopsided smile that takes the intended sting out of the words now that the familiar roleplay isn’t getting him laid. Well, fuck him.
I run my hands over the cum-sticky sequins on my new shirt with regret. I can’t take it with me, much as my raven wants to keep our new shiny prize. The outfit is ruined anyway. I shuck it off, wipe as much of his remaining cum from my skin as I can, preening that mess out of my feathers is always a pain. Once I’m mostly clean, I shift.
I hop up to the perch he has installed on his window. Steven trails after me, he raises his hand like he wants to touch my glossy black feathers. I open my beak in a silent warning. He shakes his head at me and pushes open the vinyl flap covering the window—perks of fucking a fellow avian: easy window access.
“Stay safe, Seb.” Steven looks like he wants to say more.
My raven can’t get away from his eagle stench fast enough, so I just croak at him as I take to the skies. At least I’ll be too busy focusing on staying aloft to think about what would happen if I just…stopped. No. I can’t do that. I fly up away from the city, the effort making it obvious that I’ll be beyond too exhausted to think about anything once I flap my way home. Just as well, my ass aches and I’m still horny and dissatisfied, but that all seems less pressing with the wind pushing against my whole body.
A strong headwind buffets me as I near the coast, tossing me around as easily as Steven did in his bedroom. For a terrifying moment, the human part of me wonders again what it would be like if I let it toss me beak-over-tailfeathers. Let myself crash down into the unforgiving waves below and never resurface. Good riddance to bad rubbish. No more making Bram take care of me or Rollie clean up after me. No more wrongness.
My raven fixates on the mental image of Rollie, smelling so good under me earlier. Rollie, frantic over me if I don’t come home. That pulls me up short. I veer back toward the city and flap my way to safety.
Over dry land, the day’s heat is rising up from the concrete of the highway. It’s easier to glide here. On the wing, updrafts buoy me along like I’m weightless. All my human cares drift away and I refuse to think about how I could end myself. It’s peaceful up here, with nothing between me and the vast starry sky.
Sometimes at night I can almost imagine myself drifting off into the glittering nothing of space. Part of the sparkling void that the earthbound can only gaze upon in awe.
My raven likes the idea that we’re a shiny treasure, preening internally at the implicit high praise. My human side knows better, but I don’t have to think like him as I soar above the sleeping city. The lights spread before me like someone spilled a trove of glittering jewels onto the ground.
I could admire the stunning view for hours if my stamina was up for that. It’s not. There’s a terrifying moment where I can’t settle between the inner voice of an alpha who I’d give anything to forget telling me with smug satisfaction how that’s the entire point, at war with the clear mental image of the devastation on Rollie’s face if I don’t return to our nest. I bank hard toward home and Rollie. No more thinking, only flying toward my safe cozy nest and the omega I don’t deserve waiting in it for me.