Chapter 13 #3
“That’s ‘cause y’all not lookin’ close enough. My shipment got held up for damn near three days. That’s money lost. You can’t move what you don’t got, and you damn sure can’t collect on silence if the streets don’t trust the pipeline.”
“Your paperwork isn’t clean. You’ve been switching routes and carriers, trying to cut corners. That’s why your crate got flagged.”
“You got these cats out here confused. Nobody knows who controls what anymore. My crew ran into Mico’s boys on Franklin again . That’s twice in one week.”
I tilted my head and gave him a slow blink.
“That’s not confusion, K. That’s poor delegation. Mico’s got his side locked tight. His people know where their line starts and ends. You built that house. It’s not everybody else’s fault your roof is leaking.”
K-Low stared at me for a long beat, jaw locked.
“Anymore grievances?” I asked after I heard him kissing his teeth, angry that his plan fell through.
“I’m good,” Renny replied, driving the knife in deeper.
The table went quiet. Even the air got still. K-Low was burning behind the eyes, but he didn’t say anything.
“Good. Don’t ever relay a message for me through Navie again.
If you have static for me, you know where to find me.
I’m always around for that.” I slapped hands with Renny, then stepped close to K-Low.
“I’m trynna’ do a lot of good for the city, K.
I’d love for you to be a part of it, but you won’t be the reason I don’t.
Get on board or get run the fuck over. It’s up to you. ”
K-Low leaned against the stack of crates, mad as a motherfucka.
He had too much nerve and ambition to forget I taught him everything he knew.
Not everything I know . I brushed past him on the way out, eager to get home.
After one kiss, Navie had me back on a fuckin’ rope like a fiend.
I needed to see her. Smell her, anything to curb my addiction.
“You know this shit isn’t over, right?” Ward announced once we reached the car.
“I know. Keep an eye on him for now.”
June nodded, pulling out a cigarette, “Aye, let’s hit the after-hours spot. I’m hungry as fuck.”
Ward laughed, “He ain’t going nowhere but home to Blue .”
“Shit, I can understand that. She’s fine as fuck,” June joked, wearing a mischievous grin.
“Keep on, and I’ll have Coco and the kids calling me Daddy .”
“I’m down for a swap if I get Navie,” June couldn’t contain his nicotine-wrapped laugh that came out in a cough, “I’m fuckin’ with yo’ tender ass.
I know she made it home safely, grinning at the phone when we’re supposed to be on demon time.
Roll out for old times’ sake. Home can wait,” June coaxed, but it fell on deaf ears.
“Nigga you’re one meal away from my six-hundred-pound life. You need to take your ass home too,” I replied.
“Better than looking like I belong on a feed-the-children commercial. Bitch ass nigga,” June retorted.
“Take me to the crib,” I declared, climbing in the backseat.
June tried to sway me on the ride home, but wasn’t shit out this late for me.
I walked inside the house, expecting to be asked fifty questions about what had happened and why.
Instead, I found Navie balled up under the comforter with her back to the door.
Closing her in, I unbuttoned my shirt on the way to my room to shed the rest of my clothes.
After a shower, I sat on the edge of the bed, brushing my hair. Sliding my durag over my head, I went over the shit I still needed to do for the next day. Instead of drifting to my office, I threw on some briefs and climbed into bed, closing my tired eyes.
Hours later, half asleep, I felt the mattress dip before I heard Navie. Even lying on my stomach, one arm flung over the pillow, and the other twisted beneath me, I knew it was her. The scent of her favorite lotion gave her away.
Rolling on my side, she scooted in close, spooning my frame. I tried to lead with patience, but the longer she lay here, the more curious I became.
“Wassup, Blue?” I asked, failing miserably, but I could hear her thoughts racing in my ear.
“Can you just lie here and listen and don’t turn around!” she rushed out, then, “Please,” followed a lot softer.
And I didn’t. Not even when every part of me wanted to. Minutes passed, and Navie hadn’t uttered a word. If it weren’t for her sliding her feet against the mattress, I would’ve thought she had fallen asleep.
“We promised no secrets, Blue. It doesn’t matter if the shit is ugly. I got you.”
Something in my voice lulled her into a confession.
“It wasn’t a fling or scheme. Lorenzo and I were engaged.
Now we’re not,” She spoke in a suffocated whisper.
“As usual, Sloane got herself into something only I could get her out of. Marry him. They come from old money. No more hustling, we’ll be set for life.
All of us, even Rayven. We’ll get to be a normal family.
It’s a sweet deal, Vie ,” Navie mocked, lowering her head with a chuckle.
“That’s it?”
“I wish.” Her breath warmed the back of my neck, but her voice stayed calm, steady—too steady.
“Lorenzo was sweet at first. The perfect fiancé. Then he became angry, and I was the target. He never said don’t out loud.
It was in his eyes when anyone praised me.
The way he looked at me whenever I laughed too hard.
Eventually, I adjusted, thinking that he wouldn’t be so angry all the time if I just stopped being myself, I guess.
I learned not to be too much, but that made him angrier because he had nobody to blame. ”
I could feel the weight in her words, each one pressed between her chest and my back like bricks she’d carried too long. My muscles burned fighting my instinct to turn around.
“Then he became violent because he wasn’t man enough to stand up to his father. Everything was my fault,” she sniffed softly, then laughed—bitter and broken. “Anyway, after him, I vowed never to trade in parts of myself for anyone or anything. Sometimes it feels like I’m doing it again, now.”
“You sure you want to go there?”
“Forget I said anything,” Navie tried to leave the bed, but this was the most open and vulnerable she’d been. I didn’t know if or when the opportunity would present itself again, so I held on to her arm.
“Don’t run now, stand on it. Tell me how you feel.”
I had to dig my fingers into the sheets, but I didn’t move. I couldn’t tell if I wanted Blue to trust me.
“I don’t know how to do this,” she said finally.
“I have to be on all the time. Forced to talk about shit I don’t want to talk about.
You’re a politician, Treason. You perform and lie for a living, and you’re fuckin’ good at it.
Too good. I don’t know what’s real or what’s not.
I don’t trust this feeling or myself, so I don’t know how to trust you. ”
“I’m starting to think you might be crazy for real.”
“Don’t make fun of me. I’m trying to be serious.”
“I’m trying for real, Blue, but you gotta meet me halfway.
I’m running out of ways to tell you I don’t hit women.
As for the rest of it, I’m not a weak ass man that needs to be put on a pedestal for validation.
You get me, and when you stop being crazy, I get you, too.
That’s all a relationship is. Two people committed to a common goal. ”
“What goal are we committed to?”
“Navie being happy.”
“That sounds good until I step outside of your little boundary, then you’re back yelling in my damn face.”
“Couples argue and disagree, but you never have to worry about me putting my hands on you. I’m a lot of shit but not that. Never that. I don’t know who raised him, but Inez and Evie would put their foot in my ass.”
I knew words wouldn’t heal that wound. Only time, but I needed her to hear it anyway.
“I don’t have a problem letting you in, Blue. I’d give you the world if I thought you’d let me, but I have to be able to trust you, and know you trust me too. I can’t afford to be on that island alone.”
She swallowed hard, scared to respond. I watched the battle between the pain in her heart and the hopeful girl buried beneath it. Anger took over, not at Navie, but at the people who had used her to the point that she doubted my words, even when my actions backed them up.
“This is the part where you nod and say I trust you, Stink. ”
“ I trust you, Stink ,” she repeated in the sexiest tone I’d ever heard. “How do you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Be so open and vulnerable. It’s so easy for you.”
“It’s not easy, especially with your mean ass, but I know you’ve been through some shit. I can’t ask you for something I’m not willing to do, too. That’s not how you lead.”
“That sounds like a speech from a rom-com.”
“If this were a rom-com, I wouldn’t be working this hard. You’d be in love with a nigga already.”
“What kind of rom-coms have you been watching?” she laughed, not the practiced bullshit. The real one, high-pitched and squeaky as fuck, that she rarely used because she hated it. I wondered if that stemmed from Lorenzo’s abuse, too.
“Pretend we’re in one now, and tell me something.”
“Like what?”
“Anything.”
During the pause, I imagined her nibbling on her lip, desperately searching for something to share that wouldn’t have her up all night replaying this conversation in her head.
“At the gala, what made you leave with me?” I asked, throwing her a lifeline.
“You made me feel something. I wanted to savor that feeling because I knew when the sun came up, it would be over.”
“You’re more in control than you think, Blue. The sun can shine as long as you want it to. Or I can turn this shit into Seattle. It all starts and ends with you.”
“It’s killing you, isn’t it?” Navie asked, her tone much lighter.
“Yeah, because I’m not a trifling ass nigga, but I gave you my word.”
Navie sighed, snatching her arm back.
“You can turn around, but do not make this weird, Tre. I’m serious,” she warned.