Chapter 17 #5
Treason’s eyes narrowed, his jaw tightening. “You’re far from fuckin’ fine!”
“What the fuck does that mean?” I snapped.
“You barely trust me. Every nice thing I do for you makes you suspicious. You just stopped fuckin’ jumpin’ when I touch you. You’re not fuckin’ Fine.”
“If I’m so much work, why are you fighting so hard to keep me here?”
“You asking that stupid ass question proves my point. You’re not fine!”
I could feel my own anger boiling over. “I wouldn’t have to pretend if I didn’t have to be perfect all the time!”
His hands clenched into fists at his sides, and I felt the room shrink around us.
“I’m not asking for perfect, Blue. I’m asking for you to be here— with me.
You act like this shit is a chore! Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you, but that shit isn’t enough for you to call me after your abusive ex-fiancé put his hands on you. .. again ! You still love him?”
That one question snapped me back to reality. “The long day has you out of your fuckin’ mind!
The heat between us didn’t cool. It ignited a new layer of yelling and tears, both of us caught in the fire of emotions neither of us was handling well.
“Do you still love that nigga?”
“No, I don’t, and right now I’m questioning if I should love you! Why would you ask me that?”
“Why the fuck would you wait all day to tell me this shit?”
“ This ! This right here is why!” I hated that tears were falling. I wasn’t even sure why. My mouth was lethal, but tonight I was too flustered and hurt.
“Nah, don’t put this shit on me! Say it!” he blared, sending my nervous system into a frenzy. “Just say it. I can take it.”
“Because I just wanted to fuckin’ forget! I’ve lived this nightmare before, and I didn’t want to do it again! Everything isn’t about you, Treason. I don’t need fixing like I’m some DIY project to stroke your ego! Do you know how fuckin’ hard today was for me?”
“No, I don’t because you didn’t tell me shit. I got a text about your outfit, the food being nasty as fuck, and asking what I wanted for dinner. Nothing about your punk ass ex putting his hands on you. You’re in this shit because of me, so it is my job to fuckin’ fix.”
“I’m telling you now, and you’re still screaming at me! You asked me to be honest, and I am, but it’s not how or when you want it, so it’s not good enough. If I wanted another controlling ass nigga, I would’ve stayed with the one I had!”
“At least this one keeps his fuckin’ hands to himself!”
A low blow, which caused my neck to buckle, as I watched him grab a t-shirt and pad out of the room.
A few moments later, the elevator dinged, and he was gone.
Falling back on the bed, I froze, mind and body both numb and exhausted.
I found the strength to grab my phone because, despite being mad as fuck, I didn’t need Tre doing something stupid on account of me.
Me: Check on Tre. He left the house pissed. I’m worried.
Ward: He’s with me.
Me: Is that a good thing?
I imagined his subtle smirk at my question because Ward and I spoke the same language.
Ward: I got Stink. Relax and get some rest.
Me: Thanks Ward.
Ward: Anytime, sis.
I’d never had an army behind me ready and willing to go to war if that meant keeping me safe.
I thought my conversation with Ward would help me rest, but the bed felt too big, too empty without Tre beside me.
I wrapped the sheet around myself, trying to calm the tremor in my hands, wishing he’d come back.
God answered my prayer.
He slipped in, closing the door gently behind him. I didn’t move, watching as he sat on the edge of the bed. His posture was tense, but his eyes softened when they found mine.
“I’m sorry about how I responded, but nothing about that shit is okay. It never was, and it’s not now.”
“You don’t have anything to be sorry about.”
“I do because I lost it. You needed me, and I couldn’t control my shit.”
“I should’ve told you sooner. I just didn’t know how.”
“Just say it. Text it. Something, but don’t keep shit like this from me all day. I do know how hard this is for you. That’s why I’m angry. You don’t have to go through shit by yourself. I don’t know how many more ways to say it.”
“I wasn’t trying to get through it alone. I just needed to do it my way, but your way is the only one that matters.”
“I have to work on that, but if you want me to be okay with anybody hurting you, wrong nigga. I don’t know how to do that, and I don’t want to, but I should’ve listened earlier. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. We both did.”
I don’t know what Ward did or said, but Treason chuckled. A sound I didn’t expect to hear for a while, “When a man is wrong, he apologizes. I said a lot of foul shit tonight. Let me be wrong.”
“Okay,” I whispered, and even though my body was tense, part of me melted knowing he’d returned, and apologized, “Tre. . . I love you.”
“I love you too, Blue.”
Even in anger, he cared. Tonight, that was enough to let me finally close my eyes. I doubt he even went back to sleep. How could he when his mind joined me for laps on the track?