Chapter 25 #2
“ With me . You don’t wanna talk about it with me,” she replied, filling in the imaginary blank.
“No, I don’t because I don’t need to hear how this baby will ruin my life.”
“There you go, putting words in my mouth. I never said that.”
“You might as well have!”
“I just want you to be sure, and if you do keep this baby, do it for you. Not for a man, because he could leave tomorrow, and it’s still your responsibility.”
“We know, you’ve been beating it in our heads forever. Couldn’t even get a baby doll for my birthday,” Rayven mumbled.
Where most kids played make-believe in peace, Sloane refused. She said it was just a trap to manipulate women into having kids for men who wouldn’t take care of them.
Our snickers paused Sloane’s tantrum long enough for her to ask Rayven, “You think you so damn funny?”
“I do actually. You’re being crazy, like the baby is your responsibility. Don’t worry, nobody’s asking you to babysit.”
“Absolutely not. I see how her kids turned out,” I chimed in
“She’d better hope you let her see the baby at all,” Rayven added.
“Alright, Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence,” Irritated, Sloane set her wine down, arms propped on her gapped legs, “What’s going on in your life so I can get on your ass?”
“That’s for my real mom to know and you to find out,” Rayven stuck out her tongue, resting her head on my shoulder.
Sloane wanted to blow, likely realizing the control she once yielded had lost its power.
Inez’s footsteps saved us from a tongue-lashing, mumbling something inaudible that made us laugh harder.
Treason returned, and Inez prepared dinner for us, giving Rayven a taste of normalcy.
Sloane received better plans and finally left for the night after Inez cleaned the kitchen and did the same.
Treason was locked in his office on the phone with Fallon about something that couldn’t wait, leaving me quality time with Rayven’s feet kicked up in the guest room.
“Do you know why I chose neurosurgery?”
“Why?”
“Charles.”
“ Charles ?” I mocked, surprised.
He was Sloane’s second husband. A name I hadn’t heard in a long time because Sloane wasn’t like most widows. She was never in mourning or sad that they were gone. More like rejoicing for all the money she stood to collect.
“He was the first person who made me feel safe. Outside of you,” Rayven confessed, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. “Home-cooked meals, a house that felt like a home. He tucked me in at night and asked about my grades like he meant it.”
Then he had a stroke. I wasn’t even sure it was scientifically possible, but I blamed Sloane. Charles was a wealthy entrepreneur who got caught in Sloane’s web.
“I liked Charles, too,” I agreed.
“Remember when we made the principal's list and we went on vacation?”
“Sloane was so pissed,” I laughed, recalling her packing her suitcase with expensive curated looks only to find out we were going camping instead of cruising the French Riviera on a yacht.
“Then he taught us how to make s’mores by the campfire,” Rayven recalled. “Some days I wonder if Sloane is right. Neurosurgery is a hard field to break into. Especially for African American women.”
“Everything is harder for African American women.”
“A little easier for me because of you. It’s not your job, but you show up with no guide or compass. You never let that stop you from figuring it out. I think you and Tre would be great parents.”
“What did he do with my sister, and when is she returning?” I asked, peeking inside her robe, because this person had to be an impostor.
“I am your sister,” she giggled.
“You sure? It sounds like you’re his sister! Did he bribe you with that fellowship? Hmm?” I asked, sitting on her for leverage while I tickled her, “Did he put you up to this?”
“No! Okay! Stop before I piss in this expensive ass bed,” Falling flat on the bed, we both stared at the ceiling until Rayven caught her breath. “I asked him if he wanted the baby.”
“Why would you do that?”
“Sometimes older sisters need an oldest sister.”
“But you’re not the oldest,” I clarified.
“So, I can pretend,” Rayven scoffed.
“What did he say?”
“What difference does it make?” She asked, rolling on her side.
“You brought it up. Don’t hold back now.”
“He said he loves you a lot, and whatever you wanna do, he’s got you. I’m not you or Sloane, but I kind of believe him. I know love is a stretch for you, but do you at least like him?”
“Damn, that was rude.”
“Love is built on trust, and you don’t trust men. We have to start small. Do you like Tre?”
“Actually, I do love him. It didn’t feel so scary at first, but now I want to pack my shit and run away.”
“Do you think he’s really nice or pretending like Lorenzo?”
“He hasn’t hit me,” I volunteered, because Rayven wasn’t brave enough to ask.
She loved Lorenzo at first, too. He played the perfect role, charming in public and a nightmare at home.
“Maybe he’s a good guy. His mom seems nice too, and she likes you, unless she was faking it.”
“When I met her I was hoping, but the panic attack I almost had in his bathroom says otherwise.” Rayven’s shoulders curled off the bed, she was laughing so hard. “You think that’s funny, huh?”
“I would’ve paid top dollar to see you with his family. I know you were freaking out.”
“Losing my shit, but he was patient with me. He’s always so patient and understanding. It feels weird.”
“It’s weird because Sloane is crazy. Not because Tre isn’t who he claims to be. I think you’d be a great mom. If that’s what you want.”
“I needed this.”
“Me too,” Rayven and I lay in silence, soaking up each other’s affection. I had almost drifted off to sleep until her raspy cadence woke me, “I hope Tre stays that way. You deserve to have someone take care of you.”
Rayven lay back down, pulling my arm around her.
The plush mattress was so comfortable that we both fell asleep until I woke up to use the bathroom.
Sliding out of bed, I carefully shut the door, anticipating Treason still at his desk, only to find the office empty.
Padding to his bedroom, he was asleep in his signature position- one arm flung over the pillow.
After I emptied my bladder, I slid under the comforter, praying I could fall asleep. Treason likely heard my racing thoughts, swinging his arm over my side, pulling me into him.
“I missed you,” he whispered.
“Sorry. We fell asleep.”
He kissed the back of my neck, snuggling closer as his fingers traced my stomach.
“Keep the baby,” came out in a low whisper. I almost thought I was dreaming, until “Please, Blue,” followed, deeper and more intentional.
“Why?” I asked, curious.
“I want to give you what you never had.”
“That’s the thing, Tre, you can’t do this for me. It has to be for you.”
“You make our house a home. You keep me going when this shit feels too heavy. I get my ass up when I’m tired to be the man you see in me. Everything is because of you, Blue, with or without a baby.”
“I think I know why you were hesitant,” I said, rolling on my side now face-to-face.
Treason smirked, brushing his finger over my nose before kissing it. “Oh yeah? Why was I hesitant?”
“Winston came to see me.” His eyes grew darker than the room we were lying in. “He told me everything, but why didn’t you?”
“Ain’t shit to tell Blue. The only thing we’ll ever have in common is DNA.”
“Is he why you don’t want kids?”
“As much as I hate it, I am his son. If I want something, I’ll do whatever it takes to get it. It’s fucked up but honest, so I decided to do what he should’ve and not have kids.”
“You’re not him, Tre.”
Treason smirked. “I kidnapped my sister to get you back. I’m damn close, Blue.”
“So what’s different now, Treason? I know you’re not giving up politics.”
“I wanted something real. Something that made all this shit worth it. It doesn’t get realer than you carrying my child.
Maybe I don’t deserve this blessing, but this baby is a chance to start fresh and do shit the right way.
I love you past all the shit I’m afraid of.
No doubt I can love our child past them, too. ”
“I don’t know. This is a big decision, Tre.”
“I’m not him, and you’re not Sloane. Have my baby, Blue,” he begged.
Everything I ever wanted was on the other side of Treason’s request. If I survived the family I didn’t get to pick, I was willing to chance building one with the only family I’d ever get to choose for myself.
Sometimes you have to go for it, no matter how messy or scary, otherwise you’d waste a perfect life.
I had already wasted enough.
“Okay, but I’m not doing this by myself. I mean it,” I warned, while he lay me on my back, his body hovering over mine.
“You’ll never have to do anything by yourself again. I’d walk for you if I could. Even chew your food.”
“That’s gross,” I laughed.
“I’ll get up in the middle of the night if you need me to.”
“Knowing you, you’ll already be up.”
“See. It’s already working itself out. Why do you think that the IUD failed? God wanted this for us, Blue.”
He pulled back enough to tug my panties down, exposing my wet flesh, eager to feel him.
“Don’t put this on God. I already said yes.”
My nails sank into his dark hair while he buried his face deep within my spread legs. Treason’s hand spilled over my tender breast, cupping and kneading them into ecstasy.
“Stink!” I whimpered, his tongue swiping over my needy bud as I writhed against his tongue.
His fingers slipped inside slowly, while his tongue teased my clit.
“I don't care if your legs are shaking. I gotta’ finish my meal before I get up.”
Treason’s moans grew louder, eating my pussy, forcing me to nut all over his face. It was nothing sexier than a man who enjoyed pleasing you. My eyes watered as I stretched to accommodate his girth, sliding into me.
“This pussy drippin’ tonight. You missed me, baby?”
“Yessss,” I hissed, because he had no idea.
“Or you just wanna have my baby. Which is it? Talk to me, Blue,” he coached.
“Both!”
Wanting more, he lifted his hips, driving himself deeper into my body.
“Deeper, Stink!” I arched off the mattress, wanting every delicious, thick inch of him. More moans spilled past my lips as he shoved himself inside me again. “Just like that.”
The sight of me enjoying his touch was too much for Treason to stop anyway. Sex had never felt so good because it wasn’t just a means to an end or about him. Treason made it about me, too. I cried out his name while he came, filling me up with reassurance, confidence, and cum.