Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
They didn’t encounter any other kraken as Jax led Macy into the hallway, and for that, she was grateful. Were it not for Jax and Arkon — and even Dracchus, to some extent — she would have had trouble viewing the kraken as people rather than monsters. Some of them had been eager to kill her.
She’d never seen such behavior from the humans back in The Watch, even at their worst. She didn’t expect Jax’s people to welcome her with open arms, but she hadn’t been prepared to experience their loathing firsthand.
I should have listened to Jax.
Though she believed coming here had been the right decision, she hadn’t realized the potential cost, hadn’t realized how hard it would be to pay it…
And it could have gone far worse for them both.
Jax set an easy pace as she followed him through the empty corridors.
He stopped frequently to show her the various rooms; many had signs on the walls and doors that defined their function, but he never used their names.
If the kraken had obtained most of their information from holograms and a talking computer, it was likely they didn’t know how to read.
Many of the chambers were in a state of disarray, with furniture scattered and overturned. The lights flickered in some of the rooms, and others were totally dark, but most of the place was well-lit and appeared in working order, if somewhat dirty.
“Do you have a…room here?” she asked after a while.
“I have a den, but it is in another building.” His frown had only deepened since the meeting.
“Oh.” They entered a tunnel-like hallway with windows on either side, allowing Macy view of the sea beyond. “Will you be staying there, then?”
“No. I will stay in the den you choose for yourself…if you want me to.”
“I do! Or…I could stay in your den?”
He stopped and turned toward one of the windows, looking out into the water. “It is in a flooded building. Kraken do not tend to den in the air.”
Another thing she was taking him from.
Macy frowned and wrapped her arms around herself. “What did you mean when you said I was your mate?”
Jax glanced at her. His rigid posture didn’t ease, nor did his expression soften. “You chose me. Joined with me. And said you would be mine.”
He spoke the truth, but…he didn’t seem happy about it. And why would he be? Because of her, he’d been brought before his people to face judgment, and now he was trapped here.
“I did.” She couldn’t bring herself to look at him; she didn’t want to face his anger.
“It is none of their concern. I did not want to say it aloud, because it is for us alone. I wanted to hear it from you. Not speak it to them in hopes it would sway their judgment.”
Macy furrowed her brow. “From…me?”
“Your people treat such things differently. You seem to take your time with them, to consider them carefully so that when you make the choice, it is a lasting one. I wanted to give you the time you needed.”
She lifted her eyes to meet his. “You want me…as your mate?”
“I do. In your time.”
Macy stepped closer to Jax. She licked her lips, hesitating before she put her hand on his chest. “And if I choose now?”
He settled his hand over hers. “Why are so quick to choose me, when it took so long for you to decide about Camrin?”
“Because I didn’t love Camrin.”
Macy stilled once the words were out; she hadn’t needed to consider them, she just knew.
His grip on her hand tightened, and she felt his heartbeats strengthen beneath her palm. “But…you love me?” he rasped.
They’d filled their short time together with genuine emotion.
She thought back on all those shared moments — the way he’d comforted her and eased her into the water when she’d first donned the suit, and how secure she felt once she’d given herself to trusting him; his reaction to his first taste of cooked meat, or when she’d tickled him.
She recalled the firm set of his features when she’d followed him into the seaweed forest against his wishes.
Recalled the fear in his eyes when the razorback had attacked, and the way he’d shielded her with his body.
The intensity and passion with which he’d looked upon her while they danced — and when they made love — gleamed in his eyes whenever their gazes met.
And this morning, after he’d wrestled her free of Dracchus’s clutches… Not knowing if Jax was okay, if he would survive, knowing he was so close but still out of sight — it had been a new sort of agony. She was terrified of losing him.
She cared for Camrin, and was concerned for his well-being, but her feelings toward him had never been this strong, never this deep. She’d never felt as though she couldn’t breathe without Camrin in her life. But Jax…
Macy searched his face. There was a small crease between his brows, and the corners of his lips were downturned, but there was something in his eyes… Hopefulness? Longing? Could it even be love?
Dropping her mask, she moved even closer and hooked her hand around the back of his neck. “I do. I love you, Jax.”
The words came even easier, now, without any hesitation. They felt right.
For a moment, he held her gaze in silence. When his answer came, it was swift and left no room for question. He slipped his free hand into her hair, encircled her with his tentacles, and drew her against him.
Jax kissed her with a tenderness, a need, that made her knees weak and her heart flutter.
She wound her arms around his neck and pulled herself into the kiss. Her tongue stroked his, flicked over his sharp teeth, and if she tasted blood she didn’t care. She wanted only to touch him, to be as close as possible. The suit was an unacceptable barrier between them…
But this wasn’t the place.
Breath ragged, Macy pulled back and pressed her forehead to his. She caressed his jaw, stilling when her fingers ran over the gash on his cheek. Frowning, she pulled back, looking over the cuts on his shoulders and chest. She knew there were more elsewhere.
“We should clean those,” she said.
“I will be fine, Macy.”
“You’re covered in wounds.”
He raised one of his arms and turned it, displaying at least three gashes and two puncture wounds. “I have suffered worse. This is nothing.”
“What if they get infected?”
“I do not know what that means.”
“It’s when a wound festers and doesn’t quite heal.”
“Why wouldn’t a wound heal?”
“Well, they do, eventually…” Macy stared at the cut on his cheek. “Are you sure you’re fine?”
“Yes, Macy.” He brushed a lock of her hair back from her face. “I am sure. But…what about you?”
“What about me? Am I hurt? I’m probably already bruised, and I’ll be sore tomorrow, but I’m okay.” She settled her hands on his shoulders.
His hands fell to her hips, and he appeared to wrestle with something internally, lips parting as though to speak before snapping closed. Finally, he released her. “Come. You need to choose a new den for us.”
Jax picked up her mask and continued down the corridor, leaving Macy to follow. She frowned. What had he been about to say?
As they reached the end of the tunnel, Macy glanced up at the sign near the entryway: CABINS.
The hallway beyond was lined with identical doors spaced at regular intervals.
She peered through one of the open doors as they passed and was reminded of the oldest homes in The Watch; there was a small living space, with a bed, a dresser, and a table with three chairs.
The next open room was the same as the first, right down to the color of the bedding and walls.
Their only difference was in the miscellaneous items strewn about.
She stepped inside and looked around, noticing an open door in the corner. As she moved closer, she realized the doorway led into a lavatory. She almost held in a squeal of delight; when she pressed the button on the toilet, it actually flushed, and she couldn’t contain herself.
“You have running water here!” She turned on the faucet at the sink. It sputtered, spraying brownish water, but soon flowed clear. Cupping her hands, she took a sip.
It was fresh.
“Fresh water,” Jax scoffed. “Useless for kraken.” He stood in the entrance to the room, sweeping his gaze slowly about. “What is that device for? The first one you touched?”
“It’s a toilet. It’s for, um…going to… When you have to…you know. Get rid of…waste.” Her cheeks burned. After all they’d shared, why was this embarrassing to explain?
“I see.” There was a hint of skepticism on his face. “Humans need a tool for everything, it seems.”
“We’re not talking about this anymore.” She rubbed her cheeks.
Jax shrugged, moved across the living space, and stopped in the lavatory doorway. “What of that, then?” He pointed at the stall in the corner.
“A shower. It’s for bathing, like I did in the waterfall in our cave…”
She frowned; they wouldn’t be going back to the cave. This was their home now, not because they’d chosen it, but because it had been forced upon them.
Turning away from Jax, she occupied herself by turning the dials in the shower. Water sprayed from the nozzle overhead; like the sink, it cleared after a few seconds. Steam gathered in the air.
Not just fresh water, but hot water.
It couldn’t eliminate her sorrow, but having a working toilet, clean water, and hot showers was an unexpected upside to the situation.
“Jax, this is amazing!”
He leaned past her and turned the water off. “I burned myself playing with these as a youngling. You should be careful.”
Macy chuckled and kissed his uninjured cheek. “That happens with hot water.”
She turned to the cabinet built into the wall and opened it.
Her smile widened; it held towels, washcloths, and little bottles of soap.
Twisting the cap off a bottle, she held it under her nose and sniffed.
Whatever scent it may have once emitted was gone, but when she poured some of the liquid into her hand and rubbed, it lathered immediately.
Clearly, the things the colonists had brought to this place had been made to last.