Chapter 24
tweNty-fouR
I FELT LIKE I was on a roller coaster as I watched Haven's vitals spike and calm, spike and calm, spike and calm. I'd crossed the line between memorizing how she liked her coffee and needing her safe long ago.
I wasn't joking when I said I was about to go get her. Scenarios of her being caught flooded my mind.
Going myself would probably make things much worse. At least, that's what the logical part of my brain was telling me. The emotional part—which was firmly in control at that point—told me it was a completely rational next step.
I compromised and called Kendal.
She answered mid-first ring. "Is Haven okay?"
"Her vitals have me imagining headlines that belong on the National Enquirer. Monster attacks pharmaceutical company." I took a breath. "Her heart rate is spiking and her cortisol is through the roof. She says she's fine."
"Do I need to go check on her?"
I paused, weighing the options. I watched Haven's heart rate settle. "Not yet, I don't think."
"Okay. Just say the word if you change your mind."
I grunted, knowing Kendal spoke 'fang grunt.
"You're pacing."
"Better than destroying a tree in my yard, which was Roul's suggestion."
"Of course it was." She snort-laughed.
I heard Drym in the background, asking what was happening.
"I'll let you go. Just knowing you're available to go to Novagen is helping." We hung up and I continued to pace. Surprisingly, there wasn't a path worn into the floor between the kitchen and the front door by the time Haven finally came home.
I was at the door before the knob finished turning. Haven froze, her hand hanging in the air where it had gripped the doorknob. Her expression shifted through relief and exhaustion before settling into worried.
"Hey," she said, dropping her bags and moving into my arms.
I wrapped her in a hug, letting her warmth sink into my bones. And along with it, the knowledge that she was safe. "Are you okay?"
She nodded, then shook her head. "I don't know. I'm..."
I felt her head move against my chest like she looked for the answer in the room.
"Shaken. I'm shaken."
"What did you find?"
"Novagen Trial 54B. Proof that Novagen and BioSynth are working together." She pulled away and looked into my eyes. "They put women in with you, to see if a mate bond would form."
I would never forget the reactions of the women they put with me. Horror and fear that eventually became resignation before someone took them away. "I remember."
Her voice a mere whisper when she said, "They called it compatibility testing. Like they were pairing lab mice."
"To them, we were lab rats. The experiments with women weren't the worst of what they did."
She shuddered. "At the end of trial 54B, they mentioned starting over with a new idea. Trial 55B."
"The DNA manipulation?"
"I think so," she nodded and moved to sit on the couch.
I sat and pulled her onto my lap, not wanting to let her go. Needing the physical proof she was home, with me, and nothing would hurt her.
"I couldn't find the files for 55B. I ran out of time and didn't want to risk someone figuring out I wasn't supposed to be rooting through the archives." She sighed before dropping her head on my shoulder. "I'll try again tomorrow. It has to be there somewhere."
She was going to try again. She was going back into Novagen, and would look for files even more damaging to BioSynth than the ones she'd found. Words I'd been thinking for a week pressed against my teeth. "Let me bite you."
I felt her jerk.
"That didn't come out right." I tugged at my ear and tried again. "Biting you would cement the mate bond."
"The lights would come back?"
"Yes. I'd be able to follow them to you no matter where you were, and I would be able to feel if you were in pain."
"And I would feel you?"
I shook my head. "No, that part is only one way. But the lights—the tether—would lead you to me the same way."
“What if it doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to?” I asked. “What if what they did… changed the bond?”
Quin stilled. Then he shook his head. “You heard Nuke. They didn’t create anything new,” he said slowly. “They pushed what was already there. Accelerated it. That’s not the same as a fake bond.”
I searched his face. “You’re sure?”
“As sure as I can be,” he said. “And I wouldn’t risk you if I wasn’t.”
Silence stretched.
Finally, she shook her head. "No. Not yet.
I need to know exactly what they did. How it affected me.
I need to know if they just enhanced a bond that was already there, like Nuke theorized, or if they manufactured one.
If it was manufactured…" Her breath stuttered in her chest. "I would forever feel like I betrayed you. "
"I understand." I tightened my arms around her for a moment. "When we know for sure. When you're ready. If you're ready."
Her exhale was shaky as she buried her face against my neck.
"Thank you."
I wrapped myself around her and held her like the world was dangerous and she was the only thing that mattered.
Because both of those things were true.
I LAY AWAKE WELL into the night. I didn't want her going back to Novagen. We knew for sure they were connected to BioSynth. We knew they had something to do with the experiments that were conducted on us. Wasn't that enough? What would learning what they'd done to her accomplish?
Did she want to undo what'd been done? The thought sent ice through my veins. I was convinced the bond itself wasn't manufactured, just the accelerated timeline. If she had Nuke try to undo the manipulation, would it undo the original bond? Would I lose my mate?
I clawed at my ear until my fingers came away bloody, then snorted and got up. She needed her sleep. Tossing and turning next to her wouldn't help either of us.
I made my way to the front porch and stared up at the full moon. I don't know if full werewolves were susceptible to the moon, but we weren't. They'd tested that too.
The first streaks of dawn were lighting the sky when Cavi stepped out of the woods.
"Can't sleep either?"
I shook my head. "I don't want her to go back."
Cavi touched the broken tip of his horn. "I don't blame you. Will she stay?"
I knew he meant this morning. Talking about forever wasn't on anyone's mind but my own. "No. She wants the details of what they did to her."
"I can understand that. There was a time I wanted the details of our DNA. What percentage dragon and what percentage werewolf are we? Did they add anything else?" His head jerked to the side. "And how many attempts were made before they got us?"
My jaw fell open. "You think there were others?"
"I don't know. It's the question that haunts me the most. I can't imagine them succeeding on their first try."
"Then maybe I shouldn't fight her going back. Maybe we can find those answers, too. Bacon hasn't been able to hack into their system."
He slumped over the railing. "I gave up trying to find the 'why' behind anything they did a long time ago."
"But if there are others..."
His head shook. "I don't think there are. I think there were at one point. But not now."
Anger, swift and hot, rose in my belly. "They didn't tolerate failure well."
He sighed. "No, they did not."
We stood in silence until my ear flicked back, catching the soft tone of Haven's voice.
"Quin?"
I turned and went inside, holding the door for Cavi, but he was gone. "I'm here."
Her sleepy smile evaporated all the worry that had built inside me. I wrapped her in my arms and stuck my nose in her neck. Her scent calmed me, so I greedily sucked it into my lungs. She giggled at my cold nose.
"Still no chemical smell?"
"Just the heavenly scent of lime candy."
We held each other for several long heartbeats before she spoke again.
"I have to go."
"I know." I stood to my full height, towering over her slight frame. "Five taps." The SOS code for her pendant.
She nodded. "Five taps."
Something twisted in my gut, a warning I had to ignore. I couldn't force her to stay. I had to trust her.
She got ready in silence, neither of us breaking the somber quiet. I watched her walk down the steps and get into her car. Before the vehicle turned away from me, she gave me a small smile.
Why did I feel like it was the last one I'd see?