2. Keri
2
KERI
V ictor should be tailing me any minute now. Part of me wants to throw him off today—maybe stop at a grocery store or take him on a scenic tour of my neighborhood. It’s adorable how the poor guy thinks I don’t know he watches me sleep.
While I’m not the least bit attracted to Paul, when he began flirting, I briefly glanced behind me at Victor to see his reaction and dialed it up a notch. I was pleased to find Victor nearly snapped his bow in half. Suggesting I was seeing Paul tonight was icing on the cake.
I’m feeling feisty today and could use a bit of fun. With no real plans for the night, I stop at the ice cream shop down the street from my apartment for a pint of mint chip. It’s Victor’s favorite flavor, not mine, and he’ll be so excited thinking we have it in common. If only Blockbuster was still in business, I could pick out an action movie to layer my fuckery.
Ice cream in hand, I make my way back to my car and spot him three parking spaces over. It used to be a fun game of Where’s Victor , but now he’s just getting sloppy. I toss the pint into the front seat and drive to the pet store. I don’t own any animals but buy a bag of dry cat food anyway, just to fuck with him. He’ll likely bring up how he adopted a cat last weekend and lean in to being a cat-daddy. Though, if I really want to fuck with Victor, I should let him believe I adopted an iguana.
Have fun with your animal research, Victor!
Next, I stop at the discrete sex shop in the opposite direction of my apartment and purchase a riding crop, four industrial-sized bottles of lube, and edible underwear. I’d buy a collar, but Victor would likely assume it’s for my nonexistent cat.
Most people would be concerned about having a stalker. I am not most people and welcome the attention. There’s something intriguing about having a man obsessed with you to the point he learns a string instrument to be close to you. It started small with him showing up at performances, the gym, or my local coffee shop. Part of me is comforted having someone ensure my safety but I haven’t been laid in a year because he scares away all of my dates.
On my way out of the shop, I spot Victor’s car with the windows rolled down. I pull out my phone and fake a phone call, loudly announcing how I’m going to get railed by a large cock tonight. He doesn’t strike me as a dangerous man, but I’d hate for Paul to be the brunt of any wrath. I claim it’s a man named David. I don’t know a David, or at least haven’t since high school. The last I heard, David lives on the other side of the country with his wife and three kids.
When I hang up, I’m bored with the charade and grab the pint of ice cream from my front seat, then march over to Victor. He squirms in his seat and I do everything I can to school my expression as a smirk tugs at my lips. “Hey, Victor! I thought that was you.”
“Oh, hi, wh-what are you doing here?”
“Just picking up a few things.” I shrug. “What about you?”
“I, uh, was picking up a friend.”
I open the passenger door of his SUV and sit, loving the shock etched in his features. “Cool. I’ll wait with you. I’ve got mint chip.” I tease the bag then pull the pint from it. “Want to share?”
He shakes his head.
Taunting a stalker is reckless, but what’s the worst that could happen? I suppose being found murdered with a pint of mint chip ice cream should make the top of my list, but Victor is an amateur. I bite my lip as a delicious idea forms in my head—I should stalk him . Tomorrow after rehearsal I should drive to his house instead of mine. Better yet, I should wait until he leaves and follow him home. It’s delightfully unhinged but beats the stupid purchases I made today.
With a new mission, I peck Victor’s cheek and wish him a goodnight while he waits for his friend—who is as real as my cat, affinity for toothpaste ice cream, or my need for three gallons of lube.
I really should get a hobby.