Trial By Fire (Hearts On Fire #2)

Chapter 1

Chapter One

Lindsey

I'm making a quick run to the bathroom and am outside the office door when I hear the sweet, heartrending exchange between my former sister-in-law, Winnie, and her new beau, Gabe, regarding their future and…marriage.

And, like it or not, panic takes over.

Not because I begrudge her happiness, but because I'm pregnant, untethered, and don't know where I fit in this new version of her life.

She deserves happiness. Especially after sticking with my brother Jason and caring for him until his death. That was no small thing.

No marriage is perfect, and my brother wasn’t an easy guy. He was very much like our parents in that once he decided something, that was it. So I get why they had the trouble they did when Winnie changed her mind and wanted kids despite their original agreement to be a childless couple.

But despite her change of heart, she stayed with him when she heard his diagnosis, and I know Jason couldn’t have asked for a better caretaker.

And…Gabe seems like a nice man. When I watch them together, I see the difference between what I shared with Mr. McCheater versus what Gabe and Winnie—Bronwyn have.

It's so obvious now; it makes me ache, and I press a hand over my stomach when I feel it churning again. It seems like nothing I do is ever right, and this is just another example.

I've messed up, and I'm still struggling to come to terms with the fact that I'm pregnant. Much less that the baby's father turned out to be the sleazeball he is. Wealthy, powerful and a jerk. Go figure.

I've had more than a few anxiety attacks and crying spells over my unexpected news, and I keep kicking myself for being so taken in by a liar and adulterer.

But Winnie’s offer for me to stay in town? For her to be an auntie to my baby? Will that still hold true since she's found love? Is apparently getting married? Where do I fit into this new development?

Will I—we—be a burden? What am I going to do?

I hear them coming out of the office and rush back into the storefront. EMT Elena Pierce is there with six-year-old Dani to pick up her cousin, Madison, for their daily hospital visit to see Kace, Dani's father and Madi's uncle, who was injured in a fire.

I falter when Pierce turns toward me with an expression of surprise due to how fast I left the scene of Bronwyn and Gabe's nausea-inducing sweetness.

"Do you want me to take them today?" The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them, but I need to get out of here, even if it's for a drive into Wilmington to the hospital.

"I'd be happy to take them." I barely stop myself from begging. Please let me take them!

The other woman recovers from the sudden offer and my audible desperation and looks briefly at the girls before shifting her gaze back to me.

"I mean, if you wouldn't mind, sure. I was invited to meet some friends for dinner but—"

"We can go with Lindsey," Dani says. "It'll be fun!"

I nod like a freaking bobble head, but I seriously need a change of scenery. To get out of newfound love land and into my head, where I can figure out my loveless future.

I have decisions to make. Lots and lots of decisions. "Happy to do it," I say again, aware I sound a bit breathless. Am I hyperventilating?

I fight to slow my breathing, but I think I make it worse.

The happy-as-pie couple emerges from the office, and I can practically feel the joy oozing off them.

My skin crawls, and the room tilts a bit on its axis. I'm happy for them. But sad for myself?

"Okay, sure. That works. Just text me when you leave the hospital, and I'll meet you at the house?"

I bobblehead again and ask to borrow Winnie’s car, wincing when I mess up and call her by her nickname rather than her full name.

Dani pipes up to inform Bronwyn of the change in plans, and my sister-in-law returns to the office to get her keys while Gabe, Carolina Cove's fire chief, and Pierce make small talk about the bookstore's opening day.

All the while, I'm standing here, trying not to come apart at the seams. My mind is racing with questions and problems and details regarding my future.

Heavy emphasis on the fears stacking up like Legos.

Maybe I'm more like my parents after all. Because right now? I'm all about me and my problems. How can I not be?

Jobless? Yup. I won't be going back to California if I can help it, and I haven't found anything here other than helping out at the bookstore. And since the store literally just officially opened, I don't look to get a lot of hours just yet.

Broke? More or less. Those college loans were not a great idea, considering the pay rate for my degree, and California rent? Astronomical—even though I'm sharing an apartment.

Add in a car payment and bills and all the things and like a lot of people, I live paycheck to paycheck. My so-called emergency fund is…fundless.

And now let's add a baby to the mix for giggles. Because why not?

Thankfully, I get to escape the scene of premarital bliss and doe-eyed love and catch a breather. I hope.

The girls and I are out the door minutes later, and after Elena transfers Dani's booster seat to the back of my sister-in-law’s crossover SUV, I force myself to focus on the road as I drive the girls over the bridge toward Wilmington.

"Are you okay?" Madi asks from the passenger seat. "You seem a little…tense."

"Fine. I'm fine," I restate quickly. "Just…thinking."

"About the baby?"

My head whips sideways to stare at her before she cries "Red light!" and I brake hard, stopping too fast and too short but thankfully not in the intersection.

"Whoa!" Dani giggles from the back. "That's how my mommy drives."

I didn't realize she has a mom. I mean, every kid does, but I've only ever seen Dani with her dad or Gabriel or lately, EMT Pierce, a coworker of his who is pitching in like others on the crew because of Dani's dad being hospitalized.

The light turns green, and I give us whiplash as I press on the gas. "Sorry, girls. I'm not used to driving this car," I say as an excuse. "Don't judge."

I check the rearview as Dani goes back to watching a cartoon on her tablet, cat-eared headphones in place, and glance at Madison again. "You…know?" I ask in a low tone.

"You've been hurling off and on for days, and you're not sick-sick or you wouldn't be in public, so two and two."

Smart kid, I muse.

"My friend in Virginia got pregnant," she adds. "She puked all the time, too."

Lovely. I wonder if that's my indeterminable future, but given the time I've spent in Carolina Cove running to empty my belly, I'm thinking it is. Another little item to be dealt with while I try to figure out my life.

"Do you know who the dad is?"

I spare her a horrified stare and nod. "Yes."

"Just asking," Madi says a bit defensively. "My friend didn't. They had to do a test."

"How old are you again?" Did I get her age wrong? I thought Bronwyn had said the working age in North Carolina was sixteen but maybe—

"Sixteen. Almost seventeen."

Okay, then. My grip tightens on the steering wheel, and I make some comment about focusing on driving because of the heavier-than-normal traffic, even though we're barely crawling along.

Had I really offered to bring them downtown on the July Fourth holiday?

We finally arrive and roll in to park. I walk the girls into the hospital, and we make our way up the elevator to the floor where Dani's dad is. I'm still going over Madi's comment in my head—not judging, but just…freaked out—about a girl that young requiring a DNA test.

My baby's father? The first man I was with since I told myself and everyone else I went celibate until I found the right guy because I was tired of dating losers.

Yeah, see how well that worked out.

My stomach pitches and rolls. "I'll leave you inside the room and go grab a snack."

I read that helps with the nausea. To eat small meals often. But as we get to the door and Dani walks inside with a happy, "Daddy, we're here!"…

I feel the sudden urge and—rush to push past her and her very surprised father to the bathroom on the other side of his bed, barely making it in time as I heave.

"Is she okay?" I hear Kace McCallum ask while I'm gasping and on my knees.

"Yeah. She's just pregnant," Madi says.

"But Lindsey knows who the daddy is," Dani adds in her cheery, little-girl voice.

I groan audibly and squeeze my eyes tight as another round makes its way out. Still, I hear Kace's cough-choked laugh.

"Okaaay. Anything else I need to know?"

I can't hear the girls' responses to his question because I'm too busy giving my insides a new place to live, but I take comfort in the fact it happened here versus while driving.

After a while—or maybe after I died. Who knows?

—I push back and lean hard against the porcelain throne.

I should care about germs and all the things since I'm sprawled on the hospital floor of a man's room, but I don't. Amazing how hurling your guts out puts things into perspective, you know?

Right now, I could be sitting next to something gross, and I don't even care so long as I don't hurl again.

I'm taking slow, deep breaths with my eyes closed when I feel as if I'm being watched. I want to ignore the sensation but can't and blink my watery, still-stinging eyes open to find Kace leaning waaay out of his bed to get a peek at me.

I smile. Weakly. Or maybe grimace. I'm thinking it's a grimace, given his wince of response.

"How you doing in there?"

"Just peachy," I drawl, my voice emerging husky and raw.

"I've got some crackers in here you can have when you're up to eating something."

I grimace and shake my head, my hand immediately flying up to cover my mouth at the thought. "No food. Ever." I slowly push to my feet and feel a rush of lightheadedness.

"There's an extra toothbrush kit in there if you want it. They brought it this morning."

Now that I can totally go for, once my head stops tilt-a-whirling.