Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
Lindsey
Am I the only one who didn't realize pregnancy is exhausting?
It's only three blocks to the ice cream shop with its big colorful windows out front, but by the time I get there, I can feel my body shutting down.
What scares me about it is that it doesn't feel like a normal kind of tired.
It's more than that. A heavy, soul-sucking fatigue that turns every step I take into feeling as though I'm walking in quicksand.
"Are you okay? You don't look so good," Dani says with her childish candor, a cookie crumb at the corner of her mouth. She probably doesn't need any more sweets after gobbling down the cookie, but sometimes a girl needs a little comfort food.
Dani squints up at me, face scrunched in an adorable Popeye impression.
My stomach growls loudly at that point, drawing a giggle from the little girl. I smile at the sound. "I'm fine. I'm just tired and getting hangry. Are you happy to have your daddy home?"
"Yup! I don't like it when he's gone."
"Order for Lindsey!" a teenage voice calls from the stand.
Dani and I walk to the window and get our ice cream, and after handing hers over, I can't stop the smile that forms. She looks ridiculously cute with her pigtails and pink outfit, little tanned legs that deep Carolina bronze I've noticed on a lot of the locals.
I picture my little monster in a few years' time. Will he or she have that same glow? Is it a he? Or a she?
Despite my fatigue, I suggest a short walk to the boardwalk to sit on the swings while we eat our ice cream before going to the bookstore. I shouldn't put off telling Bronwyn my news, but I'm dragging my feet—literally.
Ice cream eaten, Dani begs to walk along the beach, and I don't have the heart to say no.
It's such a simple request, and we have to go that direction anyway.
I don't want to be the stick-in-the-mud taking the fun out of things, so I muster up more energy and trek across the shifting sand so Dani can walk along the edge of the water.
I do make sure to hold onto her though, just in case.
I heard the news about the riptide and drowning, and I can't even imagine…
Once we walk beneath the pier, we head back up another bridge over the dunes, pausing long enough to wash our feet and don shoes again so we don't leave a trail of sand behind us or burn our toes on the hot asphalt. I swing our hands as we walk, making Dani release that precious giggle of hers.
I wave at Bronwyn and urge Dani back through the aisles to the bathroom to wash the sticky from her hands with actual soap.
While the little girl does her thing, singing a song to count the time until they're clean, I plant myself between the washroom and Bronwyn's desk and wait for her to finish with her customer, silently urging her to hurry up before Dani emerges.
Finally the older woman heads for the door, and I clear my throat, garnering Bronwyn's undivided attention. I watch as her expression changes from a smile to one of hesitation.
"Where's Madi?"
"She walked down to Itty-Bitty Bakery to get us a snack. Why? What's wrong? And where have you been? You must've left really early this morning. I don’t mind you borrowing my car at all, but I wouldn’t have minded a note to let me know."
"Nothing's wrong." I ignore the other questions, inhale, and say, "And I’m so sorry about the car. You’re right, I should’ve asked if that was okay. Things just kind of snowballed quickly.”
“What kind of things?” Bronwyn asks.
“Well, I'm moving out. Today. Now, actually."
"What? Linds—"
"I'm going to help Kace with the girls and—well, be his live-in caretaker. For the girls and his appointments and such," I blurt. "I know it's sudden, but he needs help, and I'm able to do it. So I offered in exchange for room and board. I'll have a place to stay—"
"You already have a place to stay," Bronwyn says in a low pitch, her gaze briefly shifting to the hallway behind me as though checking for little ears listening.
I do the same thing, but Dani is still singing and occupied. "I know, but this works for me."
Winnie—Bronwyn. Why is her request to use her full name so hard for me to remember?—blinks and looks…hurt.
"Please don't be upset. I know it's sudden, but he needs someone right now. Why not me?"
"It certainly is sudden. And I understand wanting to help but moving in with him and the girls?"
"It's easier," I say. " Besides, he can't be left alone. Not anytime soon."
"I understand that, but, Lindsey, are you sure this is the right call? You're… You're really emotional right now, and your head has to be spinning with everything happening in your life. Maybe you should think about this a little more?"
"I can think just as well at Kace's as I can here."
"What about California and moving your stuff?"
At that question, I brighten. Thank you, Zoey, I silently squee. "Already taken care of."
"What? How?"
"I gave the furniture to my roommate in exchange for packing up my clothes. And I'm having my car shipped here, and my clothes will fit inside, so I don't have to worry about having them shipped. My car will be one giant suitcase."
Bronwyn blinks several more times in silence but just when she's about to say something else, Dani skips out of the bathroom. "All done! Can I play with the llama stuffy now? My hands are so clean."
"Yeah, sweetheart, go ahead," Bronwyn says.
Dani skip, skip, skips away, and I wish I had the energy to do the same. Instead, I stand there and feel guilty, even though I'm not sure why.
This move? It's for me.
Bronwyn? She'll still be close by. Still be involved in my baby's life, and by then, I'll have found a job and a place of our own anyway. It's a win for all of us. I think.
"Linds, are you sure you're up for this? You've been really sick," she says softly.
I nod with way more enthusiasm and energy than I feel. "Morning sickness goes away. It won't last much longer. I'm good. I promise. This is a good thing, Win—Bronwyn. It'll give us both the space we need to have our own lives while still remaining close. Be happy for me?"
Bronwyn crosses the room to where my feet are glued to the floor and gives me a long hug.
"I'll always be happy for you. Just don't do something you'll regret because you think you're not welcome or underfoot. I love you. You'll always be my sister, and you'll always be family."
I hug her back. "And you'll always be mine." Whispering for her ears only, I add, "Put the llama away after we leave and tell her it sold next time we come in. I want to get it for her birthday."
Bronwyn's chuckle fills my ears.
"Too late. I already have one in the back for her from me."
Dani and I spend about an hour at the bookstore before heading back to her house. While Bronwyn watched over Dani and the llama, I ran upstairs and packed the last of my things. Bronwyn said she'd have Gabe drop them off on the next visit so I didn't have to lug them through the streets.
While I can tell Bronwyn's worried about my decision, she doesn't try to talk me out of it and instead sings Kace's praises.
I consider that a good thing. I certainly don't want to move into the man's house and discover that he's a lecher.
Not that I've ever gotten that impression of him.
The guys on Gabe's crew all seem to be good people, which says something about Gabe as chief, I think.
It's about the company you keep; isn't that the saying?
Dani and I are almost home when I feel it. That twinge of ick I experience all too often these days.
I take a breath and swallow hard, determined to keep my ice cream down.
We make it another block before I break out in a cold sweat that's my tell-tale sign that I'm about to lose the battle.
I pick up the pace, and poor Dani is practically jogging to keep up with me because I don't want my introduction to Kace 's neighbors to be me hurling in their azalea bushes.
I see the house and am practically dragging Dani along as I rush the door and get her safely inside, slamming it behind me on my race for the bathroom.
I see flashes of surprise cross the guys' handsome faces as I stumble past Kace, Gabe and Sully into the bathroom where I slam that door and fall to my knees, heaving all the yummy goodness out of my belly that isn't so great the second time around.
It's a good ten minutes before I can lift my head. Gabriel came to the door and lightly knocked, checking on me, but I ordered him away with an, "I'm fine."
Now empty, my stomach has the audacity to growl, and I glare down at it, saying a few choice words in my head in case there are also little ears outside listening.
Finally I push to my feet and splash my face, grateful I'd already left my toothbrush and essentials in the closet for use last night when I'd stayed with the girls.
I let Bronwyn assume I came home after she'd gone to bed and left before she got up because I didn't want her worrying about the fact she hadn't even realized I wasn't there.
More proof that she has her own life to live and doesn't need to be worrying about me.
After brushing and splashing my face a second time, I manage to exit the bathroom—which is right off the living room where the guys sit waiting.
"Something disagree with you?" Sully asks, looking genuinely concerned.
My gaze shifts from him to Gabe and then to Kace, realizing they haven't filled their friend in on the small detail of me being pregnant. "Something like that."
"You think it's food poisoning?" Sully asks next. "If so, you should contact the owner of wherever you ate. You didn't eat at Beach Babe Burgers, did you?" He shoots Gabe a look. "That would take down our whole crew."
"We didn't," I say, my voice raspy from my latest bout of morning sickness. "It's just— I'm okay, Sully. No worries."
Sully stands and moves toward me, and I can't help but see Kace glaring in our direction.
Sully lifts a hand to my forehead as though taking my temp.
"No fever," Sully says.
"I'm fine." I step back and have almost made it out of the room when Dani returns with a ball or balloon—something—tucked under her shirt.
"Daddy, look! I'm having a baby like Lindsey!"
I gasp so loud; I choke on the air, lungs seizing in a coughing fit that renders me weaker than ever. I'm holding myself up with a hand on the back of a chair when Sully's poorly contained chuckles bellow throughout the room.
"Well, I guess that answers that question," Sully says.
I'm mortified and glance at Kace to see him staring at his little girl with an expression that's a mix of amusement, horror and absolute panic. As though it's only just occurred to him that one day his baby girl might have one of her own.
"Uhhh…Dani, baby."
"I'm just pretending, Daddy," Dani says in her sweet little voice while shooting her father a look that says she can't believe he thought it was real. "I don't wanna be sick all the time like Lindsey. Yuck." She makes a gag face. "It's gross. Sorry, Lindsey."
Despite my embarrassment, I nod and rasp, "Totally okay, sweetheart. It is gross."
"Well, on that note," Gabe says, "we should get back to the station and let you, uh, rest."
Sully's barely holding it together. I see the way he's covering his smile with his hand and pretending to cough to try to cover up his ongoing laughter at Dani's antics and words. The man obviously has an ornery side, and he currently revels in Kace 's discomfort. And my own.
"Yeah, man, we'll leave you to this," Sully says, lowering his hand to give Kace a fist bump. "Good luck, Daddy."
Sully can joke all he wants. But he isn't the one stuck in the house with Dani and Kace—and feelings I need to get under control fast.