Chapter 35
Lindsey
Bronwyn is a beautiful bride.
And seeing her this happy should be simple. Glorious. Instead, it stirs up every sore place inside me that still craves the kind of certainty she's making a reality for herself today.
I'd been third in the seat, getting my hair and makeup done, and gone to dress while Bronwyn settled in for her special treatment.
Dani had been first in the chair, getting her hair curled for her walk down the aisle as flower girl.
And because Bronwyn didn't want Madi to feel left out, she'd asked Mads to be a bridesmaid.
Which added Sully to Gabe's side as a groomsman.
Madi takes the very excited little girl to show her daddy her special hair and lip gloss, and I move to the sliding doors of Bronwyn's bedroom to stare out, watching the wedding planner do her thing below.
Despite the short time frame from engagement to wedding date, Eliza Bellefonte-Hayes had done an amazing job pulling the details together.
The flowers are all white intermixed with greenery that goes well with the deep teal ribbons trimmed in shimmering gold. My dress and Madi's are that same breathtaking dark teal, the V-neckline modest on Madi and bolder on me simply because of my pregnant state and the fullness of my chest.
Since Bronwyn's bookstore and her loft condo above have oceanfront access, Eliza has set up reception tables both outside on the sand in back of the building, facing the Atlantic, and inside in the bookstore for those wanting to escape the afternoon heat.
But the sun has already shifted enough that the buildings provide shade to the tables below, and they'll be fully shaded by the time the ceremony is over.
"All done," I hear the stylist say.
I turn and get teary when I see Bronwyn looking bridal perfect. "You're stunning. Gabe is a lucky man."
Bronwyn's gaze meets mine, and I see a hint of nerves. "Are you okay? Do I need to grab my keys for a getaway?" Bronwyn laughs, but I'm dead serious. I like Gabe a lot, but I'm here for her. If she wants to bolt? We bolt.
"No. I'm just so excited that I feel like I'm kind of coming out of my skin. No getaway car needed, though."
Bronwyn stands and moves toward me, and I shake my head in awe. "He's not going to know what hit him. Girl, that dress."
The silk dress is as simple as could be, but it has the wow factor in spades.
Spaghetti straps at the shoulders, draped material over her chest, then falling to the floor in a cascade of white.
It's form fitting but not too tight or elaborate, but that's what makes it so beautiful, just like the woman wearing it. "You are a sexy bride."
Bronwyn's face flushes a bit, and I grin. "And a blushing bride to boot," I tease.
The stylists smiles as she packs up the last of her equipment and heads out after both of us thank her for her amazing work.
Bronwyn stops in front of me and inhales, and I sense she's about to say something…serious. "What is it? Is something wrong?"
Her expression changes as a smile lights up her features.
"No, no. Not wrong. I just want to say how grateful I am for you."
"Me?"
"Yes, you. Your support. Your love. I'm so glad you decided to move here, Lindsey. You have no idea. And I want you to know that. Things between us could have been very bad after Jason's death. Especially when…"
Her words trail off, and I nod. "Ah, I get it. When he told me you'd had divorce papers drawn up."
She nods, her expression sad.
I stretch out my hand and tuck the end of a curl back into place. "The one thing I have never doubted is how much you loved Jason. Truly. You gave up years of your life to care for him and see him to the end of his."
Her eyes sparkle with tears, and I shake my head. "No crying. I mean it. Think of Gabe in his Big Bad Wolfe apron and no clothes."
She laughs as I intended, and I nod. "That's better. And I am the one who's grateful for you. Because I know no matter what, you're here for me and the baby. And that? It means everything to me."
"Does that mean you won't mind when I steal him or her away for auntie time?"
Bronwyn wants a family so badly, and I pray she and Gabe are able to make that happen. "Not at all. Everyone should be so blessed to have you love them."
She draws me into a hug just as Eliza comes into the bedroom.
"Okay, it's almost time. Are we ready?"
Bronwyn draws back and gives me an intense stare.
"Don't give up on Kace yet," she murmurs, "but don't settle either. You deserve to be happy. Just know I'll kick his butt if he hurts you."
I'm nervous about seeing Kace today. I haven't seen him since that day at his house when I'd gone to pack up my belongings, and I feel the distance between us like a time warp.
After spending every day with him, I miss him.
I miss his grins and flirty comments. The way he insisted I drink my juice in the mornings and keep my coffee addiction under control.
His caring and warmth and tenderness. My pain-scale check compared to his nausea-scale check banter and the care embedded into every word each time we asked.
"We're ready," Bronwyn says to Eliza.
I nod my agreement. Because no matter what the future holds for me, I realize… I'm ready, too.
I've attended some beautiful weddings over the years, but Bronwyn and Gabe's has to be the most beautiful of them all. Not because of the decorations but because of the emotions so physically present.
I'm up the aisle and in position beside of Madi and Dani when Gabe's gaze locks on Bronwyn and the look on that man's face…
I suck in a breath and flutter my mascara-thick lashes hard to control the tears that instantly form.
I gaze at the bride now making her way toward us.
There's a hush over the crowd and a stillness to the air, like it too knows something monumental is taking place, and I revel in the peacefulness of it.
The awareness that gives goose bumps over my skin.
I feel Kace's gaze on me, but I force myself to remain focused on Bronwyn, giving the bride her due even if it's a way of avoiding eye contact with the man who has my heart struggling to beat properly.
Walking down the aisle is a blur, but I put one foot in front of the other and followed Madi, using her as a guide point.
The sun casts a golden glow over us as Bronwyn reaches her groom, who draws laughter from the crowd when he can't contain himself and leans down for a kiss.
I'm still smiling at the sweetness of it when I forget myself and meet Kace's gaze and get all fluttery inside for a different reason.
He's gorgeous in his wedding finery of sand-colored slacks and a white long-sleeved shirt rolled up his muscled forearms and open at his throat.
A matching sand-colored vest completes his oh-so-sexy look and emphasizes his Carolina tanned skin.
Sully stands beside Kace wearing the same attire, looking Hollywood handsome compared to Kace's ruggedness, and Gabe wears the same shade of slacks but sports a lightweight jacket instead of the vests.
I like the vests better. And not even the crutches under Kace's arms can distract from his masculine appeal.
I'm one of those people who believes things happen as they're meant to.
But in this moment, I really struggle to understand how and why I'd meet someone like Kace now.
The timing is horrible. Both of us weighed down by life and responsibilities.
But I can't bring myself to regret my mistakes when I know my baby is innocent of them.
There's a reason. I just have to find it.
Kace winks at me, and it takes everything inside me to keep my cool. I drag my gaze away from the man ever present in my thoughts and listen as Gabe and Bronwyn say their vows and are pronounced husband and wife.
The crowd erupts in applause and wolf whistles from Gabe's crew. Everyone is smiling, watching as Gabe sweeps his beautiful bride into a kiss that has the photographer's camera whirling nonstop as she captures the moment.
They take their walk back down the aisle, and I manage a smile as I meet Kace for our own walk to the reception area.
"You look beautiful," he says the moment we get close.
"You clean up pretty good yourself," I murmur, walking slowly as he uses his crutches to traverse the shifting sand beneath us.
"I heard you got the job. Congratulations."
"Thanks," I say, focused on the happy couple ahead of us. "I can't wait to get started. And moved."
"You're moving out of Bronwyn's?"
He sounds concerned, and seeing as how I've been so sick the entire time we've known each other, I can understand why. "I am. I'm doing better now, so don't worry. Moving out is a good thing."
"Lindsey, less than a week ago, you were in the hospital."
"I was, but I'm fine now." I smile as I pass by the Babes.
They are such an inspiration to me and to so many on the island.
Our own Golden Girls who make no bones about loving life and living it to the fullest. A row behind them, I spot Zoey and a man who must be her husband.
She gives me a small wave, and I smile back as Kace and I continue.
The tension between us has grown higher thanks to my news, but I'm not about to allow anyone to deter me. Bronwyn and Gabe need their space, and so do I.
I hear Dani's giggle behind me and glance back in time to see Sully swing Dani up into his arms. He settles her high against his chest to carry her and then extends his elbow to Madi to escort her.
It's such a sweet gesture for both girls, and I'm reminded once again how different their lives are because of Kace's found family of crewmembers.
"When?" Kace asks in a gruff voice. "When are you moving?"
"This evening, actually. It's not like I have much stuff," I murmur. "And the apartment's furnished."
We make it to the reception area and stand beside Gabe and Bronwyn, who are completely entranced by one another.
"Where are you moving to?"
Kace sounds angry. But since I know he has no reason to be angry, I chalk it up to concern once more.
Everything is happening fast, but considering the clock is ticking in regard to my due date, I have to move fast. "The apartment above London's Lattes.
It's only a one bedroom, but it's fine for now. Plenty of space for me and baby."
The guests quickly fall in line to offer their congratulations to the happy couple, and our conversation ends when we find ourselves drawn into hugs from the Babes, chatting with other members of Gabe's crew and eventually Zoey, who murmurs how happy she is to see how well I look now compared to before.
I quickly fill her in on my happy news, all too aware of Kace listening to every word and frowning at all of it.
The line moves and finally ends while the photographer gets us all back down the aisle to the gorgeous arch for photos.
The pictures taken with me standing by Bronwyn are no big deal, but then Bronwyn insists on Kace taking a photo with "his girls" since they're all dressed up, and Dani immediately grabs my hand and says I have to be in the picture too.
Everyone goes still. Even Sully, who usually has a comment to make about everything. I open my mouth to make an excuse when Kace says, "One or two won't hurt. For old time's sake."
Old time's sake? I want to protest. I do. But I can't find the words, especially when, if I'm honest, I'd like a keepsake of our time together as well. Maybe it's stupid or silly or selfish. Maybe it's sadistic. But I do.
The photographer positions us but insists on taking more than one, rearranging us several times and using one of us to balance Kace so he can stand without his crutches.
The last position is of me standing, turned toward Kace with Dani to my right and Madi to his left. Photo snapped, I look up at Kace, and we lock gazes as the world disappears for several long seconds before I gently tug Dani back and place her beside her father. "Now you three."
Watching them pose without me should've been easier. Instead, it feels like practice for the goodbye I'm still not ready to make.