Chapter 8
Chapter
Eight
ARA
I hurry down the corridor, but he keeps up easily.
“Talk to me.” Tate catches my arm, and his touch burns through the rest of the icy wall I erected around my heart. My chest heaves, but whether from sparring, running, or his proximity, I don’t know. Probably all three of them.
I don’t get the chance to object before he drags me into an empty room. It’s open and light, with big windows and a set of doors leading to a little balcony overlooking the sprawling gardens. Still, the moment he shuts the door behind us, it’s too small. He’s too close. We are too alone.
A bitter laugh claws up my throat. How quickly things can change. Yesterday, I would have given everything to be alone with him, and now…
I turn away, my eyes wandering over the plush set of seats arranged on one side of the room, the silky blue of the fabric glistening in the sunlight streaming in.
It matches the curtains framing the windows, and the color is found again in the light-colored rug on the wooden floor.
I concentrate on all of this, trying to drown out my awareness of the man behind me.
“Could you please look at me, sunshine?” Tate asks behind me, and I want to slap him for using that name. How dare he pretend so convincingly?
“Quite a collection of paintings you have here,” I say, fighting to keep my voice even, ignoring his request by going over to a big frame, depicting a festival in a parklike setting.
“Ara,” Tate growls behind me, “I have to leave soon.”
“Well then, leave.”
“Ara, please could you at least look at me?”
“Maybe I don’t want to look at you after everything I know now. Ever thought of that?” I round on him just in time to see the color drain from his face. His hair is tousled, and there is a slight sheen of sweat on his brow.
I avoid his eyes, looking at his chest instead.
The damp fabric of his shirt clings to his body.
Movement draws my eyes to his rolled-up sleeves and his muscular forearms, rippling with the clenching of his fists.
His markings seem alive with it. Lines I traced while lying next to him in bed…
There is a dull throb low in my abdomen, and I shake my head, angry with myself.
He’s a lying, deceiving bastard . Sadly, that doesn’t lessen his pull on me.
And because my traitorous body aches for him, I take a step back.
She means nothing to me. I used her for her connections. She is nothing but a willing body in my bed.
His words are burned into my heart as if he branded me, and now that he’s pulled me out of my numbness, they hurt.
And I want to hurt him back. Gods, do I want to hurt him. Anything to lessen the pain in my chest.
“How could you do something like that?” I snarl, and he flinches.
“I trusted you.” My breath is uneven and much too fast. “I let you… Gods, how could I not see it?” I bite my cheek hard to hold in the sob that wants to follow.
“What kind of monster… And I let you… I let you touch me.” I hurl the words like knives, satisfied to see his body jerk with every hit.
“I hate you.” My voice catches, and I make the mistake of meeting his gaze.
There is pain in his eyes, and my anger burns hot and bright, devouring everything else.
How dare he act hurt now?
I flush with fury, shake with it. The burn crawls over my skin. A wisp of smoke rising from my chest catches my attention.
It’s not just anger heating me.
Not again.
“I need you,” I shout at Solaris.
“Already on my way. Hold on just a minute longer.”
“Ara.” Tate’s voice sounds scratchy, pleading. He swallows. “Listen to me, please, baby.”
“Don’t,” I hiss, but he still reaches for me, and the worst thing is that some tiny part of me still wants him to. I back away and shake my head. “If you touch me, I’ll burn you to ashes,” I warn.
“You already did,” he says, taking another step in my direction. I hold out my hand to keep him away, but he steps up to it and presses into it. I snatch my hand back, but the shape of it is already burned into the fabric right over his heart. He takes another step closer.
Emotions zip through me like lightning, and controlling my gift becomes impossible.
I turn and rush to the balcony doors. The hem of my right sleeve smolders, then catches fire. I fumble with the latch, the cool metal instantly heating under my touch. I step onto the balcony, the spring air icy against my too hot skin.
And as soon as Solaris is close enough, I jump on the railing and hurl myself at him. Flames erupt around me when I land on his back.
Tate shouts my name, but I don’t look back. I can’t. He’s too good at this, and I’m too weak, too ready to fall for his lies again.
Everything blurs in front of my eyes while my arms come around Solaris’s neck. I bury my face in his feathers and let the heat kiss the tears off my face. My flames become one with his while he swiftly gains altitude.
I have no idea how long we are in the air, the time burned away in a swirl of orange and gold, accompanied by Solaris’s comforting voice in my head.
I lose myself in our bond until the pain in my chest is no more than a dull, annoying pulse in a fiery ocean of emotions, memories, and impressions.
It’s late by the time Solaris sets me down on the balcony of my room, and I’m quite literally burned out. My clothes did not fare well with the heat, and the thin cotton shirt and pants I donned this morning left nothing but black smears on my skin.
Ana throws the doors open, her eyes so wide they seem to swallow her face when she sees the state I’m in.
I’m sure between this morning and now, she thinks I’ve lost my mind. But I’m beyond caring.
“We have to hurry, or you’ll be late for dinner,” Ana tells me, wringing her hands.
“Is Prince Alec attending?” I ask.
“I don’t think so,” she says, and I nearly sag in relief. No reason to pretend then.
“I will skip dinner tonight,” I tell Ana, intent on falling onto my bed right away. But Ana won’t have it. She makes me take a bath while softly washing the soot out of my hair. Her gentle massage on my scalp nearly makes me fall asleep right then and there.
I don’t even have it in me to protest when she towels me off like a little girl and pulls a nightgown over my head.
The bath doused all the fire that was left. Exhaustion crashes over me, and I’m out like a snuffed candle the second I fall onto my bed.
I dream of Tate, of him stroking my cheek, pressing kisses to my lips, and holding me.
I sigh with contentment. But thinking of him starts a burning ache in my chest. And the images change.
There is heat and fire all around me, and there is pleading and screaming.
A face melting like a candle’s wax, and it’s changing.
Mariel, Calix, my brothers. Face after face consumed by my flames until Tate pleads with me to stop and not burn him to ash. There is so much pain in his voice, and I try and try, but I can’t. Terror freezes me, and sadness rips me apart. I can’t breathe, and then I start awake with a gasp.
I wake with gritty eyes and wet cheeks, bone weary and defeated, to a dark and empty room. I groan, rolling over, hiding under my blanket.
But reality crashes over me, making it impossible to fall asleep again.
He used me.
I’m nothing to him.
The dull pain in my chest flares up, and I turn again. Was it really only last night that I found Tate’s letter and stroked it like a lovesick fool?
The letter.
I sit up. The mist court … it always seemed no more than a tale, but… There are people in the mists, the titans. And if one of them tried to warn me…
“Do you think that’s a good idea?” Solaris cautions.
“They have to know something,” I tell him. I jump out of bed and quickly get dressed, stubbornly ignoring all the reasons Solaris lists why this might be a mistake.
“It’ll keep me busy,” I counter. “It gives me something to take my mind off…” I will not think of him. I will not fall apart.
My black worn leather armor, which I packed despite my mother’s protest, is a comforting hug. Every blade I slide into its designated spot is another brick in my armor.
I braid my hair without needing to look in the mirror, as it is the same braid I’ve worn every day for months. I’m more concerned with keeping my hair out of the way than appearance, anyway.
Many people vanish in the mist every year, and it would be foolish to disregard that.
“It could be a trap,” Solaris cautions me, but the thought strangely doesn’t bother me. Trust seems a strange concept right now anyway.
Let them come. Let them think they can take advantage of me, and I’ll show them how wrong they are.
“Ready?” I ask Solaris while I stride over to the balcony doors.
“Ready when you are,” he croons, pushing off into the crisp air as soon as I’m seated.