Chapter 25 #2
“I couldn’t let them walk away,” he states, watching my reaction.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, and his eyebrows jump up.
“There is nothing to be sorry for. They were there because of me. Trying to get to me through you.” He shakes his head. “If anyone has to be sorry, it’s me.”
I swallow at the implication that someone can hurt him by hurting me.
“I… I still don’t like that you had to kill them for—”
Tate interrupts me. “Oh no, I killed them very much for myself.” He chuckles darkly.
“Maybe that makes me the monster my brother tries to paint me as.” He pauses, adding more softly, “Some things color a soul, I guess.” There is something else in his eyes, another message, but I can’t grasp what it is.
We are occupied with training and classes, and still, I can’t stop thinking about what happened.
When we head to the library to study and I have to look up something for Herbs and Poisons, I add a book about Rare Medical Conditions in Gifted to my stack of books before making my way back to my friends.
Calix and Mariel are busy with their own studies, so I pull out the heavy tome and check the glossary. My breath catches when I see the phrase Tate used: Power Drunk. With sweaty fingers, I find the page indicated and start reading.
The phenomenon described as power drunk happens if a gifted person, who is able to draw from the power of gifted or other sources, takes in too much power in a short amount of time. The symptoms are described as euphoric and slightly intoxicated.
Well, that matches how I felt that night and my rather hazy memory of it.
If the state is kept up over long periods through repetitive power intake, or the patient takes in more than he can handle, it can develop into a full-blown intoxication. For more information on symptoms, consult Magic Intoxication.
No, thanks. I have no intention of giving myself nightmares by looking up how I could have ended up.
There are varying reports on toxic levels, which lead to the belief that toxicity depends on the person’s innate power.
The occurrence of the condition is overall rare, as the transfer of power requires a high level of trust from both parties. Historically, there have been a handful of instances where the person drawing power was able to overpower the other, taking their gift by force…
What? I look around, sure that anyone watching me has to be able to see what I did. But the library is still empty apart from Calix, Mariel, and me. And they are not looking at me.
It didn’t feel like I was taking from Tate by force. With the amount of power he displayed, I don’t even think I would have been able to. So does that mean he let me?
…other than that, there are only reports of power being shared between family members or lovers, since the process is an intimate one.
Allowing the other’s gift, a part of them if you will, to enter your body…
My eyebrows rise. Shit, that does sound intimate.
The visual description sparks memories, making me squirm in my seat. I close the book.
Okay, no more getting drunk on Tate’s power, but how did I do it? Through my magic gift? Through our past? Or both?
Since the night of the attack, something changed between us. We still have awkward moments and love to piss each other off, but it all has a more teasing note now. And as much as I try, I can’t shake his comment that someone would be able to hurt him by hurting me.
I’m slipping, I’m truly slipping, and all my previous arguments sound hollow now.
“Tate has kindly volunteered for this demonstration.” I grin at him, and the look he gives me in return has Alessia, the slave girl, chuckling nervously.
He stands next to me after our training ended to help me teach her. He is indulging me in his spare time, and that warms my chest in a way it shouldn’t.
Alessia shifts her weight from one foot to the other, betraying how uncomfortable she feels out here in the arena. Her soft, slender figure and pale skin declare that all of this is out of her comfort zone. But she is here, and I admire her for it. She wants to learn, so I’m happy to teach.
The sun is as harsh as ever, and there is only a thin sliver of shade starting to spread over the scalding hot sand.
Tate has lost his shirt, and I do my damn best not to stare at him.
Or to notice the slight sheen of perspiration on his skin.
Or to remember how his body would feel under my fingers. No, not thinking about it at all.
He raises his eyebrows at me, and there is a slight smile on his lips. I narrow my eyes at him, and he throws up a shield.
My grin widens. No reason to hold back then.
I attack. In quick succession, I slam my elbow in an upward motion against his nose, only to pivot, striking his Adam’s apple with my other elbow.
My fingers slam into the shield in front of his eyes, before I bring my arms out and slam my palms over his ears, and then knee him in the groin. He doesn’t even flinch.
“Yes, don’t hold back,” he comments dryly. “I could get the impression you care otherwise.”
“Just trying to make it realistic. Don’t whine, I just hit your shield.”
“Yeah, thank fuck. Only you didn’t know that when you went for my nose. Or did you?”
“Maybe I wanted to give you a chance to practice healing,” I comment sweetly.
“Too kind of you.”
I chuckle. “Relax, I knew you had your shield up.” That instantly catches his attention, but before he can ask questions, I turn back to my student.
“Memorize those targets, it’s where you can do the most damage with the least effort.” I go through the motions again, with explanations this time.
“The nose is sensitive no matter the species.” My fist connects with Tate’s shield.
“Since you are not used to hitting, don’t use your hands.
You’ll probably break something.” I show her again, using the heel of my hand and then my elbow.
“Your elbow and knee are the best bets. It’s less likely you’ll hurt yourself.
” I demonstrate how kneeing a man in the groin would make him double over, which in turn makes it easy to reach his nose with a knee next. Tate goes along with it.
“Don’t hold back,” I tell her. “You are going for maximal damage. Envision you want his nose to come out the other side.”
Alessia nods.
“If he needs force to get a girl to notice him, it will probably improve his looks too,” I add with a smirk, and she giggles.
We go through the simple but effective strikes again, and since she is too shy to train with Tate, I do, while he shields me. I show her a few moves to get out of a man’s hold after that, and the half hour flies by quickly.
“You did very well,” I tell her proudly, and the way Alessia beams at the praise transforms her whole face. “If you find someone to train with, do it daily. Until you don’t have to think about it. And whenever I’m here, we can train too.”
“Thank you so much!” She throws her arms around me, and I make plans to get her out of here. Maybe Tynan would help me with that?
However, I don’t say anything. I don’t want to get her hopes up until I know more. So I just squeeze her and give her an encouraging smile, before she vanishes back into the belly of the arena.
When I turn, Tate is watching me.
“What?”
“The way you care for others…” He shakes his head. “It’s hard for you to shut someone out, isn’t it?” And there is something like hope in his eyes when he says it.
“Yeah, I’ve heard it all before.” I roll my eyes. “I should be harder, control my feelings, blah, blah, blah,” I say.
“No, I think it’s admirable.”
That comment throws me. Is he joking? I narrow my eyes at him, trying to figure him out, but he gives me nothing.
“Let’s get back. You need your flight practice.”
I scoff. “Thanks.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
I glare at him, but he is right. I have a really hard time shutting him out lately.