Chapter 10 #2
“Not all trials are of physical strength. Sometimes it’s harder to show a part of yourself—to show vulnerability.”
I flinched from the words in my head. They sounded so much like Alaric’s guidance.
“Fucking Chaos,” Hart said. He dropped my hand and spun to face Scarlett again.
“We have to show each other the depth of our emotions to fill the stone.” I swallowed as I stared at the glowing red gem in my hand. “And once we do … we no longer have the ability to wield that emotion’s magic?”
“If you can share all of yourself with your competing Champion, the two of you together can free yourselves.”
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“Show each other your anger, sadness, envy, joy, lust, and fear. And not the surface level. As with your anger, it has to be deep-rooted.”
This wasn’t good. My fingers ran over the six gems in the throne shape. Then they moved to the dragon’s eye. “What about the seventh?”
Scarlett laughed. “That one will test you the most. It is the most important aspect of all of this—at least to Eris.”
It felt so hopeless. My entire life revolved around not showing my emotions. I’d been furious with Hart since we left Kavios, and I’d refused to show him. He didn’t deserve any of my feelings. I just wanted to forget him. Yet, somehow, anger felt easiest of everything Scarlett listed.
Sadness? Never.
Joy? Did I even have any to show?
Lust? Goddess curse me.
I gave up on going through the rest. And what did we get if we completed them? Another unknown challenge?
“This is impossible.”
“It’s not,” Hart said, meeting and holding my gaze. “But things between us will have to change.”
I felt like a caged animal, my gaze darting in search of an escape route. He already saw too much. He couldn’t see this. This couldn’t be our only path.
Hart’s forehead creased as if he read my every hesitation. “Do you still want to free Kavios from my father?”
For the first time, I understood Hart’s constant refrain, cursing the chaos goddess.
Of course I wanted to free Kavios. The humans there were treated as little more than chattel to fuel the Blessed’s magic.
As much as Hart’s words angered me, I knew he was right.
I had chosen this, and I must remember that.
I’d chosen Eris’s calling because Hart needed my magic to survive, yes, but it was bigger than that, too.
I’d chosen to accept my calling because Kavios was my home.
A home I now had the power to save. Or, I had thought I would, once we broke this curse.
“This trial will take what magic I have. How can I free Kavios from Rodric then?”
Charon nudged at the pendant—the adamas. “You can still access magic the same way the Blessed do.”
My heart rate sped up. He spoke of taking. He spoke of stealing emotion and wielding it through an adamas gem.
“I see little choice for you if you are truly Eris’s Champion,” Scarlett said.
What did that mean? She continued before I could voice my question.
“You cannot take the throne with such a connection to Themis’s Champion. Her influence is pervasive. It would seep into cracks you didn’t know existed.”
I sighed heavily, thinking of what Hart had said about his connection to the throne. It felt like my back was up against a wall, but my gut knew that Hart was right. Scarlett was right. I had no other options. There was no other information to pursue. This was it.
The lack of magic would be a problem. I couldn’t take the kingdom without it.
Even doing what the Storm did—taking emotions from those who offered them—felt uncomfortable to consider.
Adamas had stolen so much from me, from my family.
But I didn’t have to decide my position on that now.
I wasn’t even sure I could do what needed to be done to lose my magic.
To lose my nightmare magic, I’d have to share my deepest fears with … Hart.
I shook my head. This path did what I needed. It was a way out of the curse. It included a way to take the throne should everything else fall into place, but I hated everything about it.
“We should return to Kavios, Champion,” Charon said into the silence.
“Why? We’d barely escaped and you are too easy to track.”
“You need to feel deeply. I think being here creates too much distance from what is happening at home. You allow yourself to ignore it.”
His words grated on my nerves like nails on glass. Of course I ignored it. The less I thought about Alaric’s loss, the better. The less I thought about the lies everyone I cared for had told me, the less angry I’d be with them.
Hart spoke. “I don’t know about returning to the city, but we should at least return to the Oldwood. The Storm will house us. You can talk to your mother. See if she remembers any of the notes Alaric left for you.”
He paused and held my gaze, like the next words he said might be his last. I sucked in a breath, wondering what other horrors he’d unleash.
“We need to be there to coordinate with the Feared if you really want to free Kavios from Rodric.”
He’d finally said it.
The words I couldn’t unhear. I’d worried about who would lead if I dethroned his father, but not how I would actually do it. Even with magic, I would need numbers.
I had wanted so badly to be free of Hart—of our curse. I hadn’t wanted to consider the Feared. They were so attached to him, Themis’s Champion. Yet here he was, offering them freely. He spoke as if they were a resource already committed to my cause.
The worst part was that I had no good reason to object. He’d proven time and time again that he didn’t want the throne. If we had a path to break our curse, if we were no longer connected, I could take the throne without worry of his magic’s influence.
“What do you think?” I asked Scarlett.
“I agree with Charon. I’m intrigued by the depth of anger you have for the Cursed that you were able to light the red gem here. I don’t think you’ll be so lucky with the rest. To feel deeply, as is needed, the location is critical. If you truly fight for Kavios, you must return to free it.”
I let my head fall back and took a deep, calming breath as I stared at the sky.
Maybe this was my nightmare come to life, but I had no excuses left.
The fate of my city, of my home, rested with my ability to be vulnerable with the man who continued to infuriate me.
The man who was a constant enigma. The man who had broken my heart.
Most of me wanted to say that we stood no chance at success, but for Kavios, for everything Alaric had hoped I’d accomplish, I’d have to try.