Chapter 25
You're capable of anything you put your mind to. I believe that.
— ALARIC SARE’S PAPERS FOR EMBERLINE ARKOVA
My heart raced with each step we took up the staircase. Hart wrapped his hand tightly around mine, and I had no desire for him to release it—even though the last time I’d been in his apartment, things had been very different.
Then, we’d failed to save Charon due to Soren’s attack in the woods. I had just chosen to be Chaos’s Champion. And I had just kissed Hart in an attempt to save his life.
Somehow, even with all of that, being with him had felt simple. For the first time, I had hope that maybe they could be again.
But he was right, we needed to talk … about everything. He twisted the knob, and I followed him into the apartment. It looked no different, down to the coffee mug that had been on the counter when I left. I realized Hart hadn’t occupied this space since I had.
With a brief squeeze, he dropped my hand and walked toward the kitchen.
The living space was completely open, with a small stove and counter on one side and a low couch and table on the other.
Books were stacked on most available surfaces.
Moonlight granted us visibility through the windows, but he quickly lit a few candles.
The hallway between the two spaces pulled my focus. His bedroom was back there. His bed.
My mind replayed our night here faster than I could shut it down. Words spilled from my lips before I could question if they were the right ones. “You said you didn’t take from me.” I cleared my throat, realizing the topic I’d broached. “When we were together.”
He turned from putting the matches back in the drawer and faced me. “I didn’t.”
I nodded. I believed him. Even when I’d challenged him to take from me at Scarlett’s hoard, he appeared to attempt some shift to do so.
“You can decide when you want to take?” It shouldn’t be such a strange question, but I’d truly never seen a Blessed touch a human’s skin without taking.
The idea that someone could touch and not take was, unfortunately, novel.
“I couldn’t at the beginning, as I said. Twice, you surprised me. First when I didn’t know who you were, and second when you reached for me in the adamas cavern. But once I knew what to prepare for, I could decide whether or not to allow it.”
Everything about this man screamed discipline. Even as a prince, his drive and determination had been enough to catch Themis’s eye. That he applied that control to me, that his very body seemed to vibrate with restraint now, as we stood across the room from each other … well, it intrigued me.
Chaos save me.
I shook my head. “But you … did you feel…” I didn’t actually know what it was. I searched for a word. “The connection between us then?”
Something smoky flavored my tongue, and I didn’t think too hard about what caused it as his forest green eyes held mine. Just the thought of that night stoked his lust. The heat of his attention seared me, and warmth stirred low in my belly as he replied, “I did.”
“What was it?” I took a step toward him.
My confidence faltered as he placed a chair between us, his fingers curling tightly around the high wooden back. His dark chocolate strands fell around his face as he dropped his head. “I don’t know any more than you do.”
He was misguided if he thought I didn’t see his response for the hedge it was. “But you have a suspicion?”
“I have a guess. And I’ll share it with you, but you need to know I’m only guessing.”
I nodded and took another step toward him.
He hesitated briefly, studying my slow progress to close the gap between us before he spoke.
“The goddesses’ game is based on their Champions’ fighting.
That’s the whole purpose. Two heroes vying to rule a kingdom.
That night…” He sighed and glanced away.
“That night you chose Eris, but you chose me, too.”
Silence fell heavy around us. When we first entered the apartment, the dull roar from below had risen through the floorboards; glasses clinking, patrons shouting boisterously, and the raucous sound that was Forest’s Edge had stirred the empty space, but now, everything except his words fell away.
Finally, I realized what a waste of time it was to try to hide things from him.
Hadn’t this been tangled up in my deepest sadness?
That I’d chosen him—my first decision for myself—and he’d betrayed me.
He’d let me down. From the pain etched in his features, I would say he’d known that fact longer than I expected.
It occurred to me that the reason I had lov—
I choked around the unfinished thought.
This wasn’t the time to shy away from hard things. I reconsidered.
The reason he’d been so important to me was that he’d always seen me. He’d seen past the mask. He’d seen what I never wanted to show. He wanted me, not in spite of what he saw but because of it.
“While I never wanted you to make your decision that way, and I still had so much to tell you…” He didn’t hesitate now to admit what he’d kept from me.
I wanted to believe that was progress between us.
“We still gave ourselves to each other in a way that I would wager the few Champions in existence never considered. I’m sure it’s something Themis doesn’t believe a possibility.
Her Champions are chosen for their desire to rule.
But I would bet it’s something Eris considered. She was never just focused on winning.”
She only seemed to care that Themis lost. That fact kept circling our situation. It felt increasingly important the closer we came to our goals, but until I knew what our final trial was, I couldn’t begin to imagine how it fit in.
“Her Champion will challenge what is known,” I whispered as I took another step toward Hart.
He nodded.
“So, the … connection between us. It was—”
“I don’t know what it is.” He dipped his chin so that our eyes met and held again.
It seemed very important to him that I acknowledge this thing between us—this connection—was in the present, not only the past. That was hard to argue with, given the way I jumped with a simple touch even over the cover of our clothing.
“It’s growing, whatever it is,” I said as I reached him and slowly lifted my hand to rest against his chest. A spark sizzled between us as if to prove the point. “What is it?”
He clasped my hand with his own. I no longer only touched his tunic, but his ungloved hand folded over my gloved one.
He watched me carefully as he pulled the middle finger of the fabric, then the ring finger, then the pinky.
Slowly, so slowly, he freed my hand. And my entire body ignited when our skin finally touched.
“I’d like to think it’s the spark that tells us we’re more powerful together than we are apart. That even before we were cursed to only take from each other, we were meant to know that a”—he stumbled over the next word—“partnership between us could change the course of the kingdom’s fate.”
I sucked in a breath and did what felt natural. I’d made it this far. I intertwined our fingers. “What about more than a partnership?”
His eyes closed briefly, the look that crossed his face mixed pleasure and pain, like a man stranded in the desert who’d just found a sip of water but knew it wouldn’t last. “I feel like I’ve waited years for you to ask that question.
I think it’s part of what we need to talk about. The reason we came up here.”
His words were forced, as if he reminded himself of his goals.
I licked my lips, ready to respond.
“Not just you and me, Chaos. I mean…” He dropped my hand and gestured around us. “All of it. What do you want to happen to Kavios? The Feared said they will leave you alone for now, but they want to know our plans.”
My breath left me, and as much as everything in me wanted to reach for Hart, to forget about what came next, I knew it would be a mistake.
I didn’t want to think of anything that happened between Hart and me as a mistake.
Danger courted us at every turn, and he’d proved to be my steadying presence.
The hardened gemstone that never broke. My adamas in every sense of the word.
Hart gestured to the couch. “Let’s sit.”
We did so with as much space between us as we could manage.
My senses were a mess when it came to him, but if anything between us was going to work, we needed to discuss what we wanted.
Kavios would not be easily taken from Rodric, and history noted that the revolution was sometimes the easy part.
How the kingdom was governed after the fact was as big a hurdle as any.
“I have no problem killing them all if I have to.” He rubbed his chin, and I wasn’t quite sure if he spoke in jest. Was he capable of killing hundreds of Blessed on his own?
I guessed so if he had access to nightmare magic, but we’d already given up fear magic in our trials.
“But it occurs to me, if we really want to unseat my father, we need an army. The Feared are the best option we have.”
“I told you I think we will have the Storm, too,” I said.
After witnessing Alysa and Reid’s preparedness for their people in the face of a natural disaster, I was more than confident they would seize the opportunity to change the power dynamic in the kingdom.
I just needed to give Alysa the details I’d been unable to before.
Hart nodded. “Both are good resources, but we have to keep in mind that the groups have done little more than pass youngleaf amongst themselves. They won’t want to trust each other.”
“And, what,” I asked, picking up on the heart of his concern, “you are the only one who can unite them?”
He let his smirk curl his lip. “I have been the go-between for years. Alysa doesn’t like me, but she is reasonable. And the Feared aren’t my biggest fans at the moment, but they know they don’t stand a chance without me.”