Chapter 26 #2
I did know that. My awareness of Hart was strong, more so than during the mudslide.
I knew he was fine, but for a moment, I simply let the tears fall.
Tears for the future Hart and I might not have.
Tears for Kavios—the humans there had been through so much and, if we were to succeed, still had so much left to overcome.
I’d been strong in Hart’s apartment, believed in a future where we could save Kavios together, but what if Hart was right?
What if we couldn’t free him from Themis?
What would she do to him if I won the game?
“It seems you’re back to openly admitting you care for the Cursed,” Charon said once I’d calmed myself. “Did you come to that revelation on your own? Or did inspiration strike through progress on your trials?”
My laugh was watery. “I guess you could say the latter.” I shook my head as I considered each trial.
“Every trial, every emotion is heightened with him. I’ve never let my anger get the better of me like I did when it burst free at him.
My sadness was wrapped up in how both he and Alaric treated me.
Hart more so, because—” I struggled to find the words.
“You were supposed to be partners,” he said.
I nodded. “I had known Alaric sheltered me. He taught me much, but he never spoke of his time with the Blessed. He never spoke of what he did outside of our studies. There were questions I asked that he never answered. Hart wasn’t supposed to shelter me.
He was supposed to confide in me. We were supposed to support each other.
” My shoulders sagged. “My fear was for Hart—always for Hart. I have known so much fear in my life. Fear of discovery from the Blessed, fear for my family, but nothing compared with the idea that the mudslide might have taken him forever.”
Again, I wondered to what degree Eris had known what she was doing when she cursed Hart—when she conceded to Themis’s request to curse me.
The curse highlighted our connection at every turn.
When I’d rather avoid it, when I’d rather put as much distance between myself and Hart as possible, our curse never allowed it.
Then I considered Eris’s words at her altar. She’d claimed no knowledge of our ability to sense each other’s emotions. She’d taken responsibility for our need to find each other, be near each other, and take only from each other.
“Did Alaric ever speak to you about Champions of Chaos?” I asked.
Charon’s head cocked in question.
“There’s a line, ‘maybe Chaos knew what she was doing after all.’ I always assumed it applied to the curse she placed on Hart. But do you think it could be more than that? Could it have to do with a connection between us outside of the curse?”
“I’m not sure, Champion. But I know something connected you and the Cursed before you freed me from the mines.”
It was my turn to question him. “What do you mean?”
“On your first entry into the cavern, something connected you—something tangible to those of us so entrenched in the goddess’s magic. I can’t claim to know what it is, but I assure you it has only strengthened since then.”
I wasn’t sure what to make of that. He was right, of course.
That heat, that flare between Hart and me had occurred long before Chaos cursed me.
It was impossible to tell when the ability to sense his emotions had begun.
Everything had happened so quickly after I accepted the role of Eris’s Champion.
What did it mean?
It wasn’t a question I needed to answer now. We had time. Or, at least, I hoped we did.
That brought me back to considering what our lives would look like beyond these trials, beyond our goal of freeing the kingdom. I wanted a chance for us to be together.
Charon pulled me from my thoughts. “Did you make any more progress on your trials before the raid?”
While I knew we had, I hadn’t actually unwrapped the pendant. I pulled it from beneath my blouse as I spoke. “Envy should have been obvious. I would have seen it sooner if I hadn’t been so desperate to repress my feelings for him.”
Charon scoffed in agreement. “So, what’s left?”
The pendant glowed from beneath the last layer of wrapping. I was unsurprised to see the green glow in the adamas. Something stirred inside me at the orange flashing light.
“Seems you left something out from the visit to the tavern,” Charon said with a barely restrained chuckle.
“I didn’t know.” Our kiss had barely gained momentum when the raid started.
I had little doubt that the flashing light was Hart’s.
I’d tasted his lust. I flushed with my next thought.
Why didn’t the gem glow? Why had our kiss only fulfilled his part of the trial?
I couldn’t find the words to verbalize. Not that I’d ask Charon about it anyway.
“Shall I assume from your confusion that it’s not your lust that triggered the orange flashing on the pendant?”
I cleared my throat. “I don’t believe so.”
“So lust for you, joy for both of you.” He paused. “And the dragon’s eye. What did Scarlett say? ‘That one will test you the most. It is the most important aspect of all of this—at least to Eris.’”
I felt tested at every turn. I wasn’t sure I could handle whatever the seventh trial brought.
As I thought about what I wanted, the weight in my pocket gave me pause.
I hadn’t had cause to use the adamas ring that Hart had given me, and I wasn’t sure I could, but if nothing else, I wanted Charon’s perspective on it.
“You said at Scarlett’s hoard that I could wield magic the same way the Blessed do. Did you mean it?”
He tilted his head in thought. “Of course, Champion.”
“But you must hate the adamas as much as I do. It’s stolen magic—stolen from you.”
Smoke billowed from his nostrils. “My enemies stole it, yes. But if they’re using it against you I don’t want you to abstain.
Champion, you might not fight the Cursed in battle as the game warrants, but we are talking about a revolution against the Blessed.
I’d feel most at peace if you could defend yourself while you finished the trials. ”
I pulled the ring from the pocket of my skirt. “Hart gave me this before we separated.”
“His ability to see you defended is his greatest asset.”
A laugh escaped my lips. It made me feel just a little bit lighter. I trusted that Hart could escape the city. He was the most resourceful man I knew. I couldn’t fear the worst. I wouldn’t. We had too much left to do.
I must have stared at the pendant for too long, because Charon spoke again. “You’ll figure it out. You’re like Alaric that way.”
My uncle’s name no longer immediately brought tears to my eyes. It was a compliment, I knew. Alaric, who had given his life to free Charon. Who had developed multiple tonics and methods to try and slow the draining Charon felt from his separation from Chaos’s magic.
I swallowed, suddenly tired but also desperately wanting to feel closer to my uncle.
It was late. My trek to Charon had brought me to the night’s zenith, but I still had so much to do.
What Charon said was true—Alaric had always been resourceful, and he’d taught me to be as well.
“I’ll sleep here, if that’s alright. Read a little to calm my mind. ”
The papers Queen Lucinda had given me were in a pack Charon kept safely strapped to his leg. I sat cross-legged with my back against Charon’s scales and unfolded the papers to the familiar opening line.
I’m sorry for all I didn’t share, Ember. Let this be my attempt to make amends.