Chapter 23
?──── Koen ? ────?
I am drowning in light.
Not water. Not fire.
Light .
Blinding, burning, endless light.
I can’t see. Can’t hear. Can’t move. I can’t even scream.
It’s like being suspended in something too big for my body. My chest feels like it might tear open; my skin feels like it has already split. The pressure is everywhere. On my bones, under my teeth, behind my eyes.
I don’t understand what’s happening.
I don’t know how to stop it.
I’m afraid .
Am I dying?
Am I already dead?
I think…I hear something.
No… someone.
A voice, soft and faraway, like the sound of a memory or a dream pulling from the edges of my thoughts.
“…Koen…”
That voice.
It pulls me through the light, through the burn.
Her voice.
Serenya.
I can’t see her, but I try to reach for her. Claw toward her with everything left in me.
“ Koen ,” she says again, closer now.
Every time she speaks, the magic calms just slightly.
I can feel her now.
She says my name again, and my magic calms even more.
Finally, I see her.
What I see makes something inside me shatter. She is walking through the blaze. Through my magic. Her shadows are clinging to her in an attempt to shield her. Her skin is blistered, her clothes singed. She’s shaking. Barely hanging on. But still, she reaches for me.
Stop— stop! I try to say, but no sound comes.
Her hand finds me. Fingers curling around mine, strong, deliberate, fearless despite the burn. And just like that… silence.
The light vanishes. My magic calms in her presence, happy to be near her.
My muscles give out, and I fall to my knees, hand slipping from hers. The world spins sideways. My vision is blurred. My lungs heave, and my heart feels like it has been split open.
I look up and see Serenya standing over me. She sways and blinks slowly. With a shaky exhale and a small, lopsided smile, she says, “Well…look…look who decided to burn him…himself to…to a crisp…for…me.”
She crumbles.
“No, no, no, no—” I barely catch her before she hits the ground. Her skin is burning, and her body is too still. But she is breathing. She is alive.
…But she won’t wake up.
“Serenya,” I whisper, carefully cradling her with shaking hands. “Please. Please, I didn’t mean to...I—I didn’t know...”
She doesn’t even stir.
“I’m sorry.” My voice cracks. “I’m so sorry. Please wake up, little shadow. Please …”
Her shadows curl faintly around her, some coming to curl around me as if they are trying to comfort me, too. Still, she doesn’t move.
I am still smoldering with the weight of this power that I don’t understand, but I hold her tighter, terrified I have already broken the only thing that I’ve ever truly cared about. I hold her like she might slip away if I loosen my grip even a fraction.
I barely register Dimitri until the vampire silently kneels beside me in the ash and ruin of the battlefield.
The sound of fabric shifting makes me tense, my protective instincts flaring.
It isn’t a weapon, though, just his cloak.
He wraps it gently around her burned shoulders, covering her exposed skin. He’s careful not to press the blisters.
When he reaches out to lift her, I recoil, tightening my arms. “Don’t.”
He doesn’t move. “We need to get her somewhere safe. Her burns—”
“I’ll carry her.”
“You can’t even stand.”
I try, and my knees buckle. A guttural sound rips from my throat as I crumple back to the ground. My body isn't working. My magic drained everything.
Still, I curl protectively around her, as if the vampire might still try to take her away.
Dimitri sighs, surprisingly patient. “Koen, if we don’t move, something else will find us. And judging by that sound—” He tilts his head toward the distant, echoing howl. “It’s already looking.”
My jaw clenches. I hate this. Hate that I’m weak. Hate the way Dimitri’s eyes soften when they land on Serenya, as if he has the right to feel anything for her.
But more than that, I hate the thought of losing her.
My arms loosen, just slightly. He moves carefully, prying her from my hold as if he knows I would snatch her back at the slightest misstep. Once she is in his arms, cloaked and still unconscious, I force myself to my feet. Slowly. My vision swims and my bones scream, but I don’t fall this time.
I won’t. Not while she needs me.
I take a slow step toward him on shaking legs. I may not be strong enough to carry her right now, but the cloak?
Carefully easing the vampire's black cloak from her shoulders, I replace it with my own—thicker, warmer, carrying my scent. My fingers brush against her neck, lingering just a moment longer before I step back.
Dimitri’s gaze meets mine, one brow lifting in surprise. Then his mouth curves, just a little. Not quite mockery. But as if he’s decided to let me have this small victory.
Together, we start walking in silence. Just the sound of water beneath our feet, the thud of my heartbeat in my ears, and the weight of too many things knotting in my chest.
The shelter we find is yet another crumbling ruin, half-swallowed by moss and cracked stone. It looks like it had once been a shrine for a god I don’t recognize, now forgotten and broken. Only one wall still stands, but it will be enough.
I collapse against the stone with a groan, finally letting the weight of my body rest. Dimitri moves smoothly, carrying Serenya in his arms as if she weighs nothing. He kneels beside me and lays her down carefully on a dry patch of earth.
The vampire doesn’t speak at first. He just works.
Serenya’s satchel had survived the battle, burnt along the edges, but intact. He opens it and begins tending her wounds with surprisingly deft hands.
The whole time I watch in silence, jaw locked, hands trembling in my lap.
Her skin is too red. Burns trace her shoulders and arms, peeling and raw, but she doesn’t even flinch. And still, she doesn’t wake.
“You should rest,” Dimitri says after a while, not looking up.
“I’m fine.”
He hums, unconvinced. After he tightens the last of the bandages, he sits back on his heels. His eyes flick toward me.
He sighs and brushes a lock of hair from Serenya’s brow. “Once she’s stable enough, I’ll help you find the others. That was her goal when she came here, wasn’t it? To keep you all alive. To make sure you finish this.”
I stiffen. “And then?”
His eyes meet mine, calm and direct. “Then I take her home.”
“No.” The word comes out harsher than I mean it to, but I don’t take it back.
Dimitri raises a brow. “She needs a real healer.”
“She’s not leaving my sight.”
“You’re not exactly in any condition to protect her.”
“I don’t care. I’ll come with you.”
He stands slowly, brushing dust from his pants.
“You need to care. And you can’t come. You need to survive the trials.
She nearly died for you.” His composure begins to slip, showing a hint of panic in his features.
“Do you understand that? We almost lost her today! I don’t even know how she’s still breathing.
” He runs a shaking hand through his hair, taking a deep breath, regaining his composure.
“If you don’t stay and finish this, everything she did will mean nothing . ”
That makes me go still . The thought of letting her down, of her sacrifice being wasted, gnaws at something deep in my chest. My fingers curl into fists against the ground.
He studies me for a long while. Finally, he gives a small nod as if he found what he was looking for. What that is…I’m not sure. His voice is quieter now. “I think…I realized something today.”
I wait, but he doesn’t clarify.
“When I first scented your blood, I had my suspicions. But I brushed it off because of the impossibility of it. Then, after seeing the way her magic responded to yours and hearing what the nemorak said about you…I’m almost certain now.
Though I’ve never heard of this happening before, I’m not usually wrong. ”
I stare at him. “What the hells are you talking about?”
Dimitri’s smirk doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I don’t know what the goddess did or what plans the gods have for the two of you, but Phynnera did something. Mark my words.”
“You’re not making any sense,” I say slowly, bewildered.
“No,” he agrees, turning toward the door. “Not yet.”
He pauses on the threshold, silhouetted in moonlight.
“Listen to me, Koen. You need to win. More than that, you need to live. Because she needs you. Not the others. You. ”
My heart thuds once, hard. He doesn’t wait for a reply before he starts down the path, leaving the ruins behind, maybe to scout, maybe to hunt, but his parting words echo long after he leaves.
“If I’m right, you need to learn what you are, but don’t take too much time, golden boy . She’s waited long enough.”