Chapter 28 #2
I close the book, staring at the flickering shadows cast by the brazier. My fingers twitch. Too many questions tangle in my mind. What happened to break the bond between gods? Did any Vorthari survive? Or are they truly extinct?
The library feels alive around me. My shadows seem to curl closer, patient and expectant, as if they are aware I am closing in on something important. I close my eyes, leaning back against the chair .
“You know,” a voice drawls from the doorway, “if you stay in here much longer, you’ll turn into a shadow that smells like parchment.”
“You’re blocking the light, Dimitri.”
He saunters in, every step measured, blond hair glinting softly in the pale-blue glow of the moonlight spilling through the high library windows.
Dimitri’s silver eyes sweep over the books piled around me like barricades. “I thought I’d check to make sure you were still alive. Or…whatever it is you fae call this state when you haven’t moved in hours.”
“I’m working,” I say curtly, though my voice feels stiff from exhaustion.
“Mm.” His lips curve. “Work will still be here in an hour. Come spar with me.”
I blink. “Spar? Now?”
“I’ll go easy on you since you’re still healing.”
I snort. “You? Go easy? You don’t even know the meaning of that phrase.”
“Then you’d better keep up.” His smile turns sharp. “Real blades. Unless you’re afraid.”
I stand slowly, letting my shadows curl around my ankles like restless smoke, some curling around Dimitri’s feet. “Lead the way.”
The training hall is vast, lit only by the moon light through the narrow windows. Dust motes drift by in the still air, disturbed by the soft echo of our boots on the polished stone. Dimitri tosses me a slender, wickedly sharp sword, the balance perfect .
We take our places at opposite ends of the sparring floor.
One corner of his mouth quirks up. “Ready?”
I spin my sword once in my hand. “Always.”
The first clash rings out, the force shivering up my arms. My muscles remember this dance—how to match his speed, how to read the faint twitch of his wrist before he shifts direction. For a few minutes, it’s almost like the old days.
Kallan’s laughter echoes in my memory. Him leaning against a pillar, smiling when I would land a hit on Dimitri.
The memory hits harder than Dimitri’s next strike. My breath catches, and my guard falters for half a second.
“You’re distracted,” he says, circling me.
I steady my blade. “I was just remembering when this wasn’t a waste of time.”
His eyes narrow. “Meaning?”
“Meaning,” I snap, steel ringing as I meet his next blow, “that it’s hard to spar with someone who helped lead the attack that killed the male I loved.”
Dimitri freezes mid-step, sword held low. “It’s not what you think.”
“It’s what I know. ”
His voice drops, quiet but sharp. “You’re wrong. I know you think I led the attack with my father, but that’s not what happened.”
I stare at him, my blade between us. “Don’t lie to me, Dimitri. You were there. After you swore to me, to Kallan, to my father , that you wouldn’t get involved in the war.”
“I’m not lying.” He lowers his sword completely. “I didn’t know about the attack until it was already happening. My father kept it from me. He was still angry that I refused to fight in the war. When I found out, I ran. As fast as I could… But I was too late.”
My heart thuds against my ribs. “Too late?”
“To stop it.” His gaze is steady, unflinching. “I reached the battlefield just as…just as Kallan fell.”
My grip falters. Memories blur.
His voice drops lower, something raw creeping into it. “You don’t remember what happened next, do you?”
I try to think back, but all I can remember is Kallan falling and me crying over him. I shake my head slowly.
“You didn’t see him coming…the one who killed Kallan. He tried to finish you while you were kneeling there.” Dimitri’s jaw tightens. “I killed him…and the others who came at you. My father’s men. My own soldiers.”
The hall suddenly feels colder, as if even the moon above has pulled its light away. I can’t find my voice.
He takes a step back, glancing away for only a moment, but when his eyes meet mine again, I can see the agony there. “You’ve hated me for something I would burn the world to undo.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? You had to have known what I thought. Why else would you have stayed away?”
He hesitates. “I deserved your hate. They were my father’s orders, and I failed to stop them.”
“I needed you. You were my closest friend, and I needed you, Dimitri . I didn’t just lose the male I loved that day. I lost you, too. You were my best friend, and you just left me there …crying, surrounded by my fallen soldiers and covered in Kallan’s blood,” I say quietly.
He flinches, not even trying to hide the pain in his eyes. Silence stretches between us. When a tear slips free, unbidden, he takes a step closer. “Serenya—”
I turn away, tossing my sword to the ground. The sound of steel against stone echoes as I leave the hall without another word. But the image of the silver-eyed vampire standing in a field of his own dead, blade dripping with blood, refuses to leave my mind.
The night is still, the gardens nearly empty, lit only by pale moonlight and the faint glimmer of moonstones lining the edge of the stone paths.
I slip away from the palace, needing the quiet, the cool grass beneath my palms, the chance to think.
My chest feels heavy, thoughts looping back to Dimitri and everything he said… and didn’t.
“I’ve been looking for you,” Ravelle’s voice comes softly from the shadows. I look up to see her stepping lightly into the grass.
“I needed quiet,” I admit, tilting my head back toward the sky. “And space to think. About…well, everything.”
“It’s been hard on you,” she says, sitting in the grass next to me, where I sit by a small stream that flows through the gardens.
“It’s more than that,” I say, my voice low.
“He let me believe that he had a part in what happened to Kallan. That he didn’t care enough to stop it.
” My hands fist in the grass. “All this time, almost three decades, he didn’t tell me the truth.
He didn’t tell me what he did to save me.
I–I needed him then, and he just left me on that battlefield, crying over Kallan’s body, to hurt alone . ”
She looks away, a shadow crossing her features. “It was hard on him too, you know.”
I glance at her, surprised. “Dimitri?”
“Yes.” She blows out a long breath. “I tried to convince him to talk to you. But he said some things are better left unsaid. He thought he was protecting you.”
I scoff. “Protecting me? By letting me believe all those lies?”
“By trying to spare you more pain. By giving you someone to hate,” Ravelle says quietly.
“I know it doesn’t make much sense right now.
There is more to it that isn’t my place to say.
Maybe, someday, he will.” There is a note in her voice I haven’t heard before.
Something like sadness or fear. Maybe both.
But why? “Dima…he’s stubborn. Just like you.
” She gives me a small, knowing smile. “That’s probably why you two were always so close.
You’re alike in ways no one else could ever understand. ”
We watch the reflection of the moon ripple across the water in silence for a few heartbeats. Then, hesitantly, I ask, “Do you think he even knew how much I needed him?”
Ravelle keeps her eyes on the water, tracing patterns with her fingertip.
“Yes. He wanted to fix it, but I don’t think he knew how.
He carries a lot of weight, Serenya. He always has.
Kallan…he was also part of it…” Her gaze meets mine.
“We lost him, too. He was our friend, and we loved him like family. After that day, we lost all of you. Kallan, Torin, Alira, you.”
I swallow. “I didn’t think about it like that. I was so focused on my own grief.”
“So was he,” she says gently. “You two are mirrors of each other in many ways. And so you know, he still worries about you. That hasn’t changed.”
We lean back in the grass, watching the stars stretch across the sky. For a moment, everything feels still, the weight of the past softening just enough to breathe.
“Do you think we’ll ever…” I hesitate. “...have a life where all this isn’t pressing on us?”
“I don’t know if we will ever be completely free of it. But we make do. We survive. And sometimes, in quiet moments like this, we get to just exist without it.”
I nod, letting her words sink in. “I’m glad to have you back, Ravelle. I mean it. You and Dimitri…it’s like I’ve found pieces of my family again.”
“Careful, Ren. If Dimitri hears you say that, he’ll strut around like a rooster for a week.”
I chuckle.
In the quiet of the gardens, under the stars, it feels safe. It feels like healing.
When I leave the gardens, the conversation with Ravelle is still settling in my chest, and I find myself heading toward Dimitri’s study. The door is ajar, and without a second thought, I push it open.
“I’m going to say something,” I announce, stepping inside. “And for once, Dimitri Zalyth, you are just going to sit there and listen.”
He looks up from the papers scattered across his desk, surprise flickering in his eyes. He doesn’t move. He doesn’t speak, just waits with a raised brow.
“I’m still angry with you,” I continue, letting my voice carry the weight I don’t usually show. “I really needed you when everything fell apart, and you weren’t there. But…I think I can understand why you kept it to yourself. Selfish? Definitely. But I understand enough to try to let it go.”
I pause, letting my gaze sweep across his face.
“I don’t fully forgive you yet. That will take time.
But now that we have each other back, I just want to put it behind us.
I’m tired of dwelling on the pain. Starting in the morning, we move on as if none of it happened.
For now, I’m just happy to have you back. ”
I turn to leave, expecting a protest. Instead, I catch a full, infuriating grin spreading across his face.
I spin back, crossing my arms. “Really? That smug little face is all I get?”
He tilts his head. “What? You told me to just listen.”
I make a sound of frustration. “You never listen. And this is when you decide to start? You’re impossible!”
“Yet,” he says, leaning back, “you still love me anyway.”
I narrow my eyes. “I did not say that.”
He laughs softly, eyes gleaming. “But you do.”
I let out a sharp laugh, shaking my head. “I swear, one of these days I’ll punch that infuriating smirk off your face.”
“Good luck with that.”
I stomp out, feeling lighter than I have in years.