Chapter 43
?──── Serenya ? ────?
It’s the morning of the Divine Ceremony. My father has still not woken. But he hasn’t worsened, either. The black veins remain faint upon his skin, lingering at the place they retreated to, but they have not spread further. It is a small mercy, one I cling to.
I linger in my parents’ chambers as long as I can, sitting at his bedside with my hand curled over his. Before I leave, I call shadowlight to my palm and sweep it gently over him, to ease what pain he might feel even in unconsciousness, and to hold the sickness at bay a little longer.
Gaius, who has been standing guard outside the door, falls into step behind me as I leave.
By custom, I must be shadowed by a personal guard, even within the walls of the palace where I was raised.
For two decades, that duty has belonged to Torin, but after all that has gone on between us…
I could not bear it, not today. Gaius is temporary, until Torin and I can find our footing again.
It should have been my priority sooner. But with my father’s life so uncertain, I could think of little else.
As we walk the winding halls, my thoughts turn unwillingly to Queen Elowen.
She will be here today, stepping through a portal just before the ceremony begins.
If she lingers for the banquet after, perhaps I can pry something from her, some hint of her plans.
I will have to tread carefully, though. I cannot let her suspect that we are already watching.
And, of course, there is Koen. I have decided that I will tell him today. At the banquet, or after. I will not let another day pass without him knowing how I feel about him.
When I reach my tower, Gaius takes his post outside while I slip inside and close the door softly. I barely step into my bedroom before halting.
“Dimitri. Ravelle.” My lips curve into a smile. “Don’t you know better than to sneak into a princess’s bedchamber?”
Dimitri smirks, lounging far too comfortably by my window. “Kallan used to. I thought I’d give it a try at least once.”
Ravelle slips past him with a toss of her pale pink hair, the skirts of her scandalously slit gown swishing around her legs. She drops a polished box onto my bed with dramatic flair. “You can scold him later. We brought you something.”
Curiosity sparks through me. I cross to the box and lift the lid, gasping softly. “Another gown?” I glance up at them, startled and delighted.
“Don’t get used to it,” Dimitri warns with mock severity. “This is the last one. But today is a big day for your human pet. You should look the part and make him eat his heart out.”
I narrow my eyes at his choice of words but turn back to the gown, unable to stop my smile.
Ravelle leans against the bedpost, eyes glittering. “Make sure you wear it for him, Serenya. Trust me, men are far easier to handle when they’re on their knees.”
I shake my head, biting back a laugh, and step forward to clasp Ravelle’s hand briefly. “Thank you. Both of you. I’m glad you’re here. I know it isn’t easy being around the fae with them still nursing their hatred for your kind.”
“Let them stare,” Dimitri says with a flash of fangs. “It won’t keep us from being here for you, Ren. Besides, we rather enjoy their stares.”
I roll my eyes, but my lips betray me with a twitch of amusement.
Once they’re gone, I bathe, and my most trusted maid, Cordelia, helps me dress and do my hair.
The gown is breathtaking—midnight silk threaded with molten gold, as though the night sky itself had been caught and draped over me.
The skirts fall in sweeping layers, scattered with flecks of light that shift when I move.
The bodice gleams with curling gold embroidery shaped like runes, fitting close to my waist before unfurling into swirls along the hem.
Cordelia braids small sections of my hair, leaving the rest to spill in white waves down my back. The dark streaks framing my face remain loose, as I prefer. A crown of blackened gold, its lattice set with deep gemstones, settles upon my brow.
I have just slipped on my heels when a knock sounds. Leaving my room, I cross into the outer chamber and open the door.
Koen towers above me, dark and striking in ceremonial finery that sharpens the lines of his body.
His jaw is all hard angles, his black hair brushed neatly back, though a single lock dares to fall across his brow.
His golden eyes— oh stars above, those eyes —catch the torchlight and gleam like fire.
For a moment, I forget how to breathe.
His eyes take me in, and his expression shifts to awe.
“Serenya…” His voice is a whisper, almost reverent. “You are…mesmerizing. Like something out of a dream.”
Heat floods my cheeks. I try for a witty retort, something light to break the intensity of the moment. “Well…you clean up decently yourself. Almost like a real lord.”
His lips twitch into a grin, golden eyes gleaming. “Decently? That’s all I get? I spent hours letting some poor servant wrestle me into this cursed tunic, and you give me ‘decently’?”
A laugh slips out of me, the kind I didn’t realize I’d been holding back. “Would you prefer unbearably handsome? Because I don’t think your ego needs any more feeding.”
He chuckles, low and warm, the sound curling through me like firelight. “I’ll settle for unbearably handsome. Especially if it keeps you staring at me like that, little shadow.”
A flutter goes through me, heat pooling low as my gaze drifts to his mouth before I can stop it, lingering a heartbeat too long.
My eyes flick back up to meet his. The world narrows to the curve of his smile and the warmth in his eyes.
I swallow hard, fighting the pull to go to him, the wanting that’s becoming hard to hide.
I look away, but the warmth blooming beneath my ribs refuses to settle.
He straightens, offering his arm. “May I escort you, Your Highness?”
“You may,” I reply softly, slipping my arm into his.
Together, we begin the long walk to the great hall, Gaius a silent shadow at our backs.
The silence between us is not uncomfortable, but it is weighted. Every step hums with unspoken words. By the time the towering doors rise before us, my chest is tight with everything I cannot hold back. I can’t wait for the banquet. I can’t let him walk into this moment not knowing.
Before the guards can open the doors, I gently tug him to a stop, still linked to him by the arm.
“Koen, wait.”
────────────? ? ? ? ?────────────
Koen
Her voice stops me cold.
Not just my name, but the way she says it. Urgent. Fragile. Like it costs her something just to speak.
I turn to her, pulse thundering in my ears. She’s staring at me as though she’s standing on the edge of a cliff, deciding whether or not to jump.
“Serenya?” I breathe, my throat tight.
Her hand trembles where it clings to my arm. She swallows hard, her gaze locking on mine as though she’s bracing herself.
“There’s something I need to tell you before we go in. I–I can’t…” She takes a breath like she’s trying to calm her nerves.
My heart stutters. Can’t what? Can’t let me go in without knowing? Can’t keep hiding what she feels?
Or am I a fool for hoping that’s what she’ll say?
I want to believe it. Every stolen glance, every flicker of softness in her voice when she forgets her walls.
All of it flashes through me like lightning.
But doubt claws in just as quickly. What if it isn’t what I think?
What if I’ve only imagined it, twisted kindness into something more because I wanted it so badly?
The great doors burst open. Light spills through, gilding her hair in fire and silver. A herald’s voice bellows our arrival, echoing down the corridor, drowning her out.
She freezes. Her lips close. The moment shatters.
For a heartbeat, fear crushes me. Maybe she wasn’t going to say it. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe she was about to tell me something else entirely.
But staring into her eyes, she looks at me like the words are still burning her throat, like they’re fighting to be free even now. In that look , I can’t explain it, I just know . I know what she meant to say. I know what she feels.
Relief crashes over me so violently I almost stagger. The happiness is sharp, breathless, and terrifyingly strong. I want to laugh, to shout, to drag her against me and tell her I heard her anyway. That I’ll hold onto those unsaid words until she finds the courage to finish them.
But I don’t. I can’t. Not here.
So I steady my breathing, fighting to keep the wild grin from my lips. I offer her my arm once more, trying to look calm when inside I’m nothing but fire.
She doesn’t know it yet, but she’s given me everything. When this is over and it’s only us again, I’ll tell her.
I’ll tell her what I feel.
Because now…there is no going back.