2. Chapter 1
Trick – Five Weeks Later
I sigh as I run my hand through my hair before I look across the yard, my eyes landing on Clark.
I’m sitting on top of the picnic bench, my elbows resting on my knees, fuck, I’m a mess. A big fucking mess to the point I’ve nearly crashed my bike twice in the past week alone, and I failed my first test ever.
I bite my bottom lip, not taking my eyes off her.
I still don’t remember that night, and I know Clark doesn’t. I’ve seen the lost look she has and how she’s had to lean on her best friend.
Belle told Crash that Clark feels violated, like she was assaulted, like I was assaulted, and it’s fucked her head up. Fuck, did it mess with my head too because she is right, we were assaulted.
Someone spiked my drink, clearly enough to try and trap me, only for Clark to end up drinking most of it. She saved my life, and I know she hasn’t allowed herself to think it yet, instead she’s pulled away from us.
She’s closed off.
She won’t speak to the brothers, she won’t speak to her brother or her parents. She won’t speak to me. If she sees me, she puts her head down and walks away.
I feel like I lost my friend, fuck, I feel like I failed her for not keeping her safe.
“How are you doing?” Crash asks lowly as he takes a seat next to me, and I shake my head, still looking at his sister.
“She won’t speak to me,” I whisper, and he sighs.
“She won’t speak to me either, only Belle. She’s barely eating, and the past few days she’s, I don’t know, she’s like a shell of herself,” he says quietly, and I nod because I have seen it as well.
Fuck, we’re all lucky that she’s even at family day to begin with, it took both her mom and Belle to convince her to come.
“What are we going to do?” I ask as I look at him to see his focus on Clark, and I demand, “How are we going to get the old Clark back?”
“I don’t know,” he grunts before he looks my way and says, “I think it’ll just take time, what happened was, fuck, it was fucked up to you, to her, but brother, I’m not just worried about my sister, I’m worried about you as well.
I can see you’re spiraling, especially when we don’t have proof of who did it, when the person you believed did it is currently staring at you from the kitchen window. ”
I look away instantly, refusing to look his way and he sighs.
“You felt like you raped her, brother,” he reminds me, and I swallow the lump forming and look back at Clark, who is staring off into the distance.
“Because I basically did,” I grunt, not able to get that feeling off me, the feeling I roared out in pain two days after the shitshow.
“Trick,” Dad says softly as I pace my kitchen, gripping my hair as frustration and pain, so much fucking pain chokes me, making it difficult to breathe.
I, fuck…
“Brother, try and take a deep breath,” Crash tries while Spike, Clark and Crash’s dad, watches me like I’m a ticking time bomb.
Two days, and I still can’t fucking remember anything but this feeling, something fucking bad churning in my gut. It makes it difficult to breathe, their confession brings the feeling higher, and I’m ready to explode.
“I raped her,” I choke as I grip my hair tightly.
“No!” Spike snaps, his green eyes glaring at me, “You didn’t fucking rape her, you were both drugged!”
I scoff, “You’ve just informed me after doing a thorough search of my room that you’ve found a used rubber on my floor with blood on it. I couldn’t have been that drugged up to be able to remember about fucking protection!”
Spike shakes his head, and Dad says fiercely, “It wasn’t fucking rape. Whatever shit they put in your drink, they wanted you coherent enough to get it up but not enough to remember. It wasn’t fucking rape!”
I chuckle darkly as I shake my head, the vision of Clark losing her shit scorching my brain and all my emotions bleed into one. Anger. Hurt. Betrayal. Heartbreak. Guilt. They all fucking consume me and I roar out full of pain before slamming my fist into my glass sliding door and it shatters.
“Fuck,” Crash curses, and I roar even louder as I fall to my knees and sobs tear from my chest, the feeling like I raped my best friend's little sister, my fucking friend choking me…
“I’m fine,” I lie, and he sighs, and opens his mouth probably to scold me like I’m some sort of child but he clamps it shut as Clark walks towards the gate, ignoring anyone who tries to get her attention, and I don’t think.
I jump off the bench, and Crash doesn’t call me back, knowing we need to talk, and this might be the only way.
She spent a week in the hospital, a week being monitored, and I spent every single night in that room, holding her while she sobbed herself to sleep. As soon as she was discharged, radio silence, and we need to fucking talk, fuck, I need to apologize, I need…
Gritting my teeth, I storm after her and, as I walk through the gate I call, “Buttercup!”
Clark freezes in her stride, her shoulders tense, and I take a shuddered breath and slower my pace and walk over to her, hoping she doesn’t see the tension on me like she most likely heard in my voice.
She doesn’t turn around, instead she lies, “I have schoolwork…”
She’s due to graduate soon, she doesn’t have schoolwork.
“I just want to talk, Clark,” I rasp full of heartbreak, “I miss my friend.”
She sniffles, and I flinch, hating that I’ve caused this, and I round her before gently putting two fingers underneath her chin and lifting as I bend a little at the knees locking lock eyes.
The pain and horror in her beautiful dark green eyes fucking breaks me, and it takes everything not to look away.
“Please, buttercup, speak to me,” I whisper, and a few tears fall as her chin wobbles, and she shakes her head.
I don’t stop to think, I cup the back of her head and pull her into me and instead of shoving me away she grips my cut and lets out a pained sob, fucking breaking me.
I wrap my arms around her, placing my lips against her head as a thousand fucking tingles rush through my body like it always does when I touch her.
I ignore the feeling and hold her tighter.
“You’re killing me here, buttercup,” I choke as I squeeze her to me and she hiccups as I whisper, “I know what happened was, well, it was fucking bad, I know it’s terrifying and hurtful, I know you need space to come to terms about what happened because fuck.
I need time too, especially knowing if you hadn’t finished my drink I would be dead right now but I just, I fucking miss my friend, buttercup…
” I pull back slightly and I cup her cheeks with both my hands and gently rub my thumbs along her soft skin, wiping away the tears and I plead, “Talk to me, please…”
Her chin wobbles as more tears spill before she blows my world up and chokes, “I’m pregnant.”
Fuck.
Breathing becomes difficult, and I grip her cheeks a little tighter as the panic hits.
Pregnant, fucking pregnant, a permanent reminder that I raped her…
“Fuck,” I choke, and she sobs, “I don’t know what to do, Trick, what do we do?” and I pull her back into my body, holding her tightly as she sobs her heart out just as Crash walks through the gate and eyes us with concern.
I allow him to see my emotions, my fear, and my eyes blur with unshed tears, causing him to rush over to us, but he halts when I choke, “Brother, go get Belle,” and he furrows his brows, but shock and pure terror etch his features when I say, “She’s pregnant…”
***
I spin my phone in my hand two hours later as I look up at the night sky, the stars shining, but I feel nothing but fucking numb.
Pregnant, she’s pregnant.
After Belle rushed out being the crutch for her friend like she always is, we guided Clark to her brother's home two doors down from mine.
Mom’s tried calling, Dad, Spike, Crash, I just…
Pregnant, meaning she is now at even more fucking risk from the Chargers because not only is she the daughter of the current secretary of the club, but she’s also the sister of the soon-to-be secretary and now pregnant with the soon-to-be VP’s child.
I sniff hard, and I bring up Cage’s burner number as my hand trembles before pressing on it and putting the phone to my ear.
It rings several times before he answers, “What the fuck? I thought I told you guys to message before calling so that my phone isn’t found!”
A few tears fall, and I choke, “Bellamy…”
“Scar, keep an eye out,” Cage demands before he says, “Miles, talk to me, what’s happened?”
I shake my head as a sob leaves me, and I drop my head, my body trembling.
“Miles, you’re worrying me, talk to me,” he says quietly, and I choke, “She’s pregnant…”
“Who brother? Who is pregnant?” he asks gently, a hint of confusion lacing in his tone, and I grip my hair tightly.
“Clark,” I gasp, “Clark is pregnant.”
“Fuck,” he whispers, already up to speed with what had happened and sobs tear from my chest as the fear rushes through me, knowing what I have to do, knowing that Clark will never forgive me for taking this choice from her.
I already took her virginity from her… but it’ll be the only way to keep her safe…
“She’s going to hate me even more Bellamy, I-I, fuck…” I choke.
“Breathe for me, brother,” he coaxes but I shake my head.
“I raped her!” I say and I grip my hair tighter.
“You didn’t, you were fucking drugged, both of you were, so get that fucking thought out of your head.
Clearly whoever spiked your drink was hoping to get themselves knocked up and it wouldn’t surprise me if they had poked holes in your condoms as a precaution if that night didn’t work and clearly it fucking didn’t for them,” he snaps, “I don’t ever want to hear that shit coming out of your mouth again because I promise you, Clark won’t think that. ”
I shake my head as another sob comes out and he whispers, “You know what you have to do brother, to keep her safe.”
“She’ll hate me,” I whisper, the idea of her hating me feels like a sucker punch to the gut.
“It’s the only way, Miles,” he says softly and I squeeze my eyes tight and sob my fucking heart out before I have to inform Clark, who will end up keeping the baby because of who she is, that I’m about to destroy all her dreams.
She’ll never want to speak to me again, I’m going to lose my friend.