Chapter 24 #2
No. They’ve done dozens of covers that could’ve worked for this. Keeping this song was intentional. Asking Nick specifically to listen to it was intentional.
It has to be.
As the song ends, Nick realizes he’s shaking.
He’s trembling with the force of his own feelings as they cascade through his body after weeks—let’s face it, months—of being ignored and pushed away and denied.
The applause through the speakers of his iPad echoes in his eardrums, and Nick is vaguely aware of the host complimenting them on the song but he doesn’t care.
He just wants to rewind and hear it again, and again, and again.
He finally snaps to awareness enough to check his phone, heart still beating triple-time. He’s got several texts, and he laughs at the one at the top, from Sofia.
Sofia
NICK TIERNAN YOU HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO BOY!!!
The next is from Connor, a simple “Told you so” because the Canadian is nothing if not eternally smug. Marco and Lindsay have both texted him—Lindsay with a series of exclamation points and nothing else, while Marco’s reads:
Marco
THIS MAN IS SERENADING YOU HOLY SHIT
Nick
I KNOW!!!
Nick texts back, fingers stuttering over the screen.
Marco
Are you freaking out rn or?
Asshole. Nick narrows his eyes as he responds.
Nick
NO rude I am fine
I just
Holy shit he just did that for real??
Fuck he’s so hot I love him
SHIT I was supposed to tell him that before I told you
Marco, oh-so helpfully, texts back a string of laughing emojis. Nick needs a new best friend.
Marco
Happy for you bud
The interview goes on for a little longer, but Nick is probably going to have to listen to it again some other time, because he is absolutely not paying attention.
When it ends, he starts refreshing the radio’s YouTube page furiously, waiting for the video to be uploaded.
“Come on, come on,” he mutters, refreshing again. At last, the video appears.
Sticks+Stones – Toxic – Britney Spears – Acoustic Cover (Live for StarlingFM)
It’s unfair that Matt looks absolutely gorgeous, too.
He’s in a plain gray V-neck with his black leather jacket over the top and black jeans that lace up along the outside, tucked into his usual combat boots.
Much like the acoustic performance itself, it’s a softer version of his usual on-stage persona.
Before he starts singing, he looks directly at the camera and smiles like he’s about to share a secret.
It’s one hell of a secret, Nick thinks.
He watches it several times in a row, and he’s not ashamed to admit that he pauses on multiple occasions to admire Matt with his eyes half-closed and his hands wrapped around the microphone.
The camera zooms in on him, capturing clearly the emotion on his face, and it’s all Nick can do to stare helplessly, watching this confession.
It feels like an age has passed by the time Nick’s phone rings, Matt’s grinning Caller ID picture filling his screen. Nick almost throws it across the room in reflex as he lunges for the device, pulse racing a thousand beats a minute. “Hi,” he says breathlessly.
“Hi,” Matt replies. “Did… Were you listening?”
“I am so fucking in love with you,” Nick blurts out before he can help himself. He hears Matt’s sharp intake of breath and holds his own in trepidation.
“I—You can’t just say that,” Matt retorts.
Nick swears his heart stops, dread turning his blood cold.
But Matt continues. “You can’t fucking say that when I’m a thousand miles away and I can’t kiss the shit out of you for it, Nicky.
God, sweetheart.” He lets out a choked, quiet chuckle. “You know I’m crazy about you, right?”
“I mean … I do now.” Nick’s voice cracks. He leans back against the wall, trying to steady his breathing without Matt hearing him. Play it cool, Tiernan, he thinks, and then snorts. He’s never been cool in his life, especially not when it comes to boys.
“Oh, baby…” Matt sighs, and Nick closes his eyes. It’s not fair that he can’t hug him, not after hearing that. “I got your voicemail.”
Nick freezes. “Matt, I’m so sorry. I—”
“It’s okay,” Matt cuts in, and all the breath leaves Nick at once.
“I mean, it’s not. I’m still pissed, and we are definitely talking about this properly when we’re both home, but …
shit, Nick. I’m sorry I didn’t call back.
I was busy, and then this was coming up and I thought …
music has always said things better than I ever could, y’know?
But if you think I could walk away from you now you’re even more oblivious than I thought. ”
“Yeah?” Nick’s too relieved to be embarrassed by how much his voice quivers.
“I’m in this for the long haul, stud,” Matt confirms, soft but determined. Nick exhales shakily, a weight lifting off his chest.
“Remind me when you get home?”
“Getting a red-eye tomorrow night. Landing at fuck-o’clock in the morning.” Matt sounds as frustrated as Nick feels. “But I swear, babe, first thing after I’ve had a nap, I’m coming to yours. I’ve missed you so much.” He chuckles. “Let’s never fight again, yeah? It fucking sucks.”
Nick laughs wetly. “Agreed.”
The next two days are going to be agony.