Chapter 4
Ashley – One Year Later
I sigh as I casually re-stock the shelves, Clark’s convenience store the only place that can keep my mind from wandering, from going back to that dark place, one I’m trying my hardest to stay out of, but I’m finding it hard, difficult even, despite my trauma happening outside in the alleyway where I now refuse to park.
I feel hollow, lost even, and being at home, I feel suffocated, knowing I let my family down. Knowing not one brother would even help me if I had told them what had happened, not one would believe me because according to Ty’s mama, I’m a patch chaser.
It’s been over a year since my ordeal, a year since I pulled back from my husband, not able to look him in the eye even now.
The hardest part of all, I think he’s cheating on me, my gut telling me he is or well was at least. I don’t even know how to handle that piece of knowledge, especially when I don’t have proof, that it’s only a gut feeling. .
For over a year, I’ve shown him no affection. I’ve only slept with him four times, and each time I felt like my skin was crawling, like I was dirtying him up with my filth. That isn’t my only reason why I think he’s straying, something I was petrified he would do.
A few months ago, Cole had a raging high fever, so high that he went into a febrile seizure, or that is what Tank called it.
It is apparently extremely rare because most kids grow out of them by the time they hit five.
I called Ty several times and not once did he answer the phone, heck, I even called Doc, the president who is an ER doctor but he even declined my call.
I had no choice but to struggle and carry my ten year old to the clubhouse, in search for my husband who stunk of cherries mixed with the aftershave I gave him for Christmas.
“Hey, Stone, have you seen Tyler?” I ask frantically as I push through the back door and rush into the full common room, and I shift Cole, who, I have to admit, is not easy to carry, but when a mama is worried, weight doesn’t come into it, or the fact that he’s nearly as tall as me already.
Stone, the VP of the club, looks my way instantly with concern as Cole cries, “I want my daddy,” and my heart pulses, worry consuming me.
He’s so hot.
It came on really quickly, and to be honest, I didn’t know what else to do when no one answered my calls.
I notice Olive and Scar, Ty’s parents, quickly stand with shock, but I ignore them just like they ignored my calls. I rush over towards Stone, who shoves away from Elsie, his bitch of a wife, who tried trapping him in high school.
Seriously why he married her without definite proof she was pregnant is beyond me.
Panic hits me as Cole shakes again, and Stone meets me halfway in the common room and asks, “What happened?”
My stomach tightens when I don’t see Ty anywhere, despite him telling me this morning on the phone that he’ll be at the club all day with the tattoo shop getting a deep clean after he gets back from the run, and I swallow hard.
He’s been acting off for a while now, well, for a year, since he didn’t meet me like he said he would, since his mama faked being ill and was in this very room drinking and partying with her old man. Since I was raped and I lost our baby…
Swallowing down the horrible feeling that he may be with someone when I know I’m his world and he’s most likely not back yet, I fret, “Cole’s temperature shot through the roof.
I tried to call Tyler five times, but he didn’t answer, so I thought maybe he’s still on the run, and I tried Doc, but he canceled the call, so I thought maybe he was working. ”
Something passes over Stone’s face, something I can’t quite decipher, but before I can question him and question where the hell my husband is, because let’s face it, if he were still on the run, then Stone wouldn’t be here.
It seems he goes on most of them with Doc being a doctor and all, Tank comes up to me.
“I’m here Ash, let me look at him,” Tank says as he appears beside us and I physically relax as he takes Cole who cries, “I want daddy,” and my arms drop like a lead as Tank murmurs, “Come here buddy, I’ve got you, Uncle Stone will get daddy.”
Tank looks at me and nods down the hallway where the medical room is situated in between the officer’s offices and I nod and quickly turn around and run towards the hall. Ty’s parents attempting to follow but I quickly turn and point at them shocking them.
“You two are not welcome,” I snap, shocking everyone as Tank walks past us, side eyeing me with a raised brow of approval.
The man may be quiet and barely spend time at the clubhouse, but he knows when I mean business.
“He’s our grandson, Ashley. What are you on about?” Scar asks with shock, and I growl, “How about when you both ignored my calls ten minutes ago and my son was having a seizure?!”
Scar flinches as Olive looks down in shame, and I scoff and I spin on the spot and rush after Tank, entering the room just as he lays Cole on the bed.
“What happened?” Tank asks, and my tears fall.
I admit, “He was sitting on the couch when he said he didn’t feel well, and suddenly he was, it was like he was having a seizure…”
Tank nods as he checks over Cole, looking in his ears, then confirms, “He’s got a raging ear infection, and I think we may need to take him to the emergency room unless Doc has some antibiotics here.”
“H-he didn’t say his ear hurt,” I choke as I press my hand against my stomach, worry and pain filling me, mixing with guilt.
Have I been so caught up in my own thoughts that I missed Cole coming down with something?
“He probably didn’t realize, Ash, don’t beat yourself up.” Tank tries to reassure me, but I shake my head just as the door to the room opens, and I turn to find my husband stumbling in, and everything in me falls at the state of him.
His light brown hair is messy, his clothes are a mess, and as he gets closer, I can smell cherries, a strong, fricking smell of cherries mixed with the cologne I bought him for Christmas, so strong it’s like he’s just sprayed a ton on him.
Oh god, was he cheating on me?
The thought makes my stomach drop as my heart sinks.
“What happened?!” he demands as he gets closer and goes to wrap his arm around me, but I quickly move, suddenly feeling sick.
He frowns, his eyes taking me in but I quickly look away from him and step closer to my son, my mind not able to understand, I mean, I don’t have proof but it would make sense.
The nights he doesn’t come home a couple times a week, the times I’m at the clubhouse with our son but he disappears for an hour here and there.
The door opens again, and Doc rushes inside, not making eye contact with me and bile rises.
Does everyone know, or is it all in my head?
I blink, then shake my head as I continue to re-stock the shelves that Andrea, the night manager, didn't get this far on her shift last night.
I haven’t smelled anything on Ty since that day and to be fair even before it I didn’t smell cherries. Since Cole was ill he’s been more affectionate with me, trying to always cuddle me, hold my hand, trying to spend more time with Cole, but I just, there’s a nagging feeling in the back of my head.
I barely let him touch me for a year.
Maybe it was all in my head, maybe my guilt over what happened to me is what's got me thinking crap.
Maybe it’s because I still resent him and his mama for that day, when he should have been here, meeting me ready for our date, so I could tell him I was indeed pregnant.
So I could finally make him proud and explain about my studies, to let him know I had a job in line for when I graduate as long as I pass my exams at the end of the year.
The owner Pauline, happy with my work placement descriptions from Happy Place Farms.
Surely he wouldn’t throw away nearly seventeen years of love instead of communicating with me right?
Cackling gains my attention just as I finish re-stocking and I turn my head and tense, seeing Virginia and Hazel, two of the clubwhores at the clubhouse.
They are dressed like they did in high school with tiny crop tops and denim miniskirts, clearly wishing they were still in their youth.
Virginia being the high school cheerleader who made my life hell whenever the club brothers weren’t around.
From flushing my clothes, knocking my books from my hand, to putting gum in my hair. Pathetic shit really, all because I had the brother she wanted.
Apparently, she had her eyes on him before my parents forced me to move to Wincher and enrolled me at Wincher Middle School, but as soon as I arrived, Ty claimed me instantly despite being nearly eleven while I had just hit ten, and she hated me ever since.
Her becoming a clubwhore didn’t surprise me, she’d sleep with any brother that would take her all while eying up my husband and I never once felt jealous because I knew he was mine.
But as her blue eyes stare at me with glee and she stops right before me tilting her head looking me up and down in my jeans and simple tee, no property cut in sight, with a smirk, a strong smell of cherries hit me and my stomach drops.
No, surely not.
I turn and grab the empty tray, not allowing my mind to make crap up, but before I can walk away, she opens her mouth and praises, “I have to give it to you, Ashley, still working at this shitty job, only earning minimum wage, knowing Trigger would one day get bored with you is good.”
My jaw ticks, but I keep my mouth shut and pick the other tray up, but freeze when she continues, “I can understand why you trapped him with that brat though, his cock is huge and feels so good…”
Hazel giggles next to her, and I look to see a sly grin spread across her face.
She’s lying, she has to be. Please…
My heart stops as she cackles and continues to dig the knife straight into my heart, “What? Did you honestly think you could tame him? Was that it?”
“Go cause crap elsewhere, Virginia, we’re not in high school anymore, meaning I’m not put off smacking that grin off your face,” I snap despite my heart pounding.
She’s lying, that's all I can think of, despite the strong smell of cherries.
Grinning, she pulls out her phone, then turns it my way as a video begins playing, and I know my face has paled.
My husband, the man I gave everything up for, is lying on her bed on his stomach, gripping her thighs open as he eats her out, and bile builds.
She laughs and gloats, “Everyone at that clubhouse, including his parents, knows we’ve been fucking for a year and yet you were none the wiser,” she slides her finger across.
This time, a video of them in the storage cupboard in the pantry shows her on her knees sucking my husband off, his hand clearly in her hair, and the camera points up at his face, showing his head thrown back in pleasure.
Virginia gloats, “And not one of them told you. Some family you have there, huh, bitch? I told you he was always going to come to me, and guess what? I was right!”
I look Virginia in the eye as Hazel looks away, her cheeks now red with most likely embarrassment, and knowing she could lose her spot at the club if I mention this little gang-up.
I’m still an old lady, even if I don’t wear my cut.
“I hope you really enjoyed this, Virginia,” I say coldly, and her smirk grows until I state, “He’s all yours, my property cut is in the closet at his home.”
She grins widely like she won, but I ignore it as I drop the trays, turn around and rush over to the staffroom, seeing Nat sitting in her office. I quickly dodge her as I grab my bag and phone before rushing out of the store, ensuring I don’t get noticed by her.
I quickly message Nat to explain that I’m not feeling well, then rush out of the shop. I can't wait for her to come out and ask if everything is alright, can’t deal with anyone right now, so I run to my car outside.
I notice Virginia laughing from the corner, where, in my mind, is where she belongs. I climb inside before speeding off down the road towards the clinic not stupid why she’s done this now.
She hasn’t been at the clubhouse since Cole was rushed to the medical room, the day my husband was clearly with her, ignoring my calls.
This is her revenge because she’s clearly been kicked out.
An hour later, I’m walking out of the clinic holding a packet of pills after being told that I have chlamydia and most likely have had it for a while, meaning my fertility rate has dropped while my body trembles.
He slept with her unprotected, when I don’t know, but he did, and he put me at risk.
With my bottom lip trembling, my chin wobbling, the urge to bawl my eyes out hard, I quickly climb into my car, put it in reverse, and leave the parking lot.
My only thought is to find a divorce lawyer and demand separation papers be drawn up immediately.
Then I need to pack my stuff up and drain every cent that I placed in our joint account and leave his ass.
I should have listened to my gut a few months ago, should have left him then.
Especially when I’m beginning to realize that he started a full-blown affair, not just underneath my nose, screwing her while I was in the other room with our son, but it started after I was raped and pulled back from him out of guilt and disgust.