Chapter 27
Ashley – A Week Later
I chew my nail as I look at the door, my heart completely torn, my head unable to come around to the idea that I’m being discharged today. Yet, my baby, my son, who is just under four pounds now, is staying.
It feels so wrong.
I have to leave him because, apparently, moving to the NICU with him is not permitted.
Yes, I’m woman enough to admit I tried to use the club's name to get my way. I mentioned that three club members work at this hospital and that the club raises thousands for them, and all the doctor could say was that it wasn’t fair to the other parents.
Jackass.
Okay, so he wasn’t really a jackass, and he was sweating bullets when I brought the club up while Tank and Doc tried to keep their laughter in, but still...
I don’t want to leave him.
A few tears fall and I quickly wipe them away, the TV the only noise in the room as I sit in a wheelchair and wait for a brother to come pick me up.
Which one, I don’t know, Tank said he’d sort it or something when I mentioned calling an Uber.
I’m pretty sure he’s only sorting it because he knows I’ll camp out in NICU.
I don’t think Tyler is aware I’m being discharged unless Tank spoke to him.
I haven’t talked to him much this past week.
Barely even looked his way which I know he kind of doesn’t deserve but everything that has happened in the past three years is on a continuous loop in my head, forcing me to pull further away from him.
I think he’s more in tune with me than I realize, than I want to realize and I know the brothers want us back together.
I sigh as I run my hands through my wet hair.
The nurse helped me shower, something I desperately needed, and I definitely didn’t want Tyler helping me.
Now I want to see Tyson before leaving but I have to wait for whoever is going to come and get me.
Apparently it’s hospital policy that I have to stay in this goddamn wheelchair until I’m out of the doors.
I hate that I’m relying on the brothers, the men who I thought were my family.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand their bond as brothers, I know the patch and what it represents.
I really fricking do, still, I grew up with them.
They became the family I didn’t have when mine turned their backs on me because I chose their brother. And not one had my back.
Truth be told, I miss him, I do, I’ve been missing him since I left him which is why before the attack had happened. I was slowly giving him a chance without meaning to, but now that I’ve had time to think I don’t know.
“Breaking news interrupting your program. The search for Natalie Claims after Clark’s Convenience store on Paul’s street was caught on fire and she had disappeared has been closed, a statement by the Chief of Police has been released...”
I look at the TV, hearing Nat’s name, bringing me out of my messed-up head where my husband is concerned. I frown as Chief Police Mayers enters the screen, his gray hair slicked back and he stands behind a podium.
“After the initial report of Natalie’s disappearance, new evidence has come to light,” he begins, “While the body inside the store has been confirmed as Natalie's, CCTV footage has been received by our department showcasing her involvement in the attacks on women, several of whom are still missing.”
Holy crap.
My eyes widen as my mouth parts in shock and horror as a picture of Natalie and Michael pop up on the screen.
“After an autopsy, it was determined Ms. Claims did not succumb to the fire. She was shot in the head, and it has been determined as an attack due to her connection with the missing women. Michael Nations is also wanted by police for his connection with Ms. Claims, CCTV showing him as the last person to have any contact with her.” Chief Meyers states, “I will stress, Michael is considered dangerous, so please, if you see him, do not approach and call the number below, thank you.”
Holy shit. How on earth did Dirty manage to tamper with the CCTV?
“Chief, Chief?!” the reporters all call, and I turn the TV off in complete shock, not really knowing what to think.
Michael was already caught by the club, so he couldn’t have killed Nat, meaning…
The door to my room opens, and Ty walks in, the bags under his eyes seeming darker as we lock eyes and my stomach tightens.
Guess Tank told him.
“Hey pixie,” he whispers, and my eyes race between his as he kneels before me and asks, “You ready to get outta here?”
“Did you kill Nat?” I ask instead of answering his question.
“Yes,” he instantly admits as he grabs my hand, squeezing it tightly.
“She helped plan your rape for her own selfish reasons, caused your miscarriage, then helped the fucker find you yet again and helped him nearly kill you and our son. She doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as you and our children. ”
Damn…
I didn’t expect him to tell me. Normally, if something had happened and I questioned it, I would be told it’s club business, which I understood. He doesn’t want to get me involved, protecting me, but I honestly thought he wouldn’t tell me the truth.
“I’m not going to lie to you, Ash,” he says as he cups my cheek when I don’t say anything, “I’ve done a lot of shit in the past three years, hurt you a lot, so I won’t lie to you.”
I nod slowly, my heart pounding so fast I’m glad I’m no longer on the machine.
“I don’t want to leave Tyson,” I admit, deciding not to talk about Nat or Michael again, and Ty’s eyes soften as he leans forward and gently kisses my forehead.
“I know, pixie, it’s why he will always have a brother with him until he’s discharged,” he whispers, “And Cole, he needs you too, Ash, he wants you home...”
I sniffle, my emotions going all over the place.
“How do parents cope with this? Having one child at home and the other in the hospital?” I choke, my guilt burning me that I didn’t think about Cole and his needs in all this.
“Some don’t, pixie,” he replies, “Some really fucking struggle, the mama will stay with the child in the hospital and the dad will stay at home. Sometimes that can cause resentment, and honestly, baby, we have had enough resentment between us, we can’t let Cole feel that.”
I nod because I know he’s right. I don’t want Cole to resent me or his brother, and I take a deep breath, then whisper, “Let’s go before I change my mind.”
Tyler nods as he looks at me, and I can see his concern, his fear, and I swear it is so hard to keep eye contact with him right now.
“I love you, pixie,” he says, full of emotion, and my eyes tear.
I reply, “I love you too,” and his grip tightens on my jaw when I admit, “I think I always will, but love doesn’t overcome everything else.”
“I know, believe me, I know it doesn’t, you haven’t spoken to me since you woke up,” he says, “I have messed up so much, I know I have, but I can’t lose you, Ash, and not because I see you as a possession, but because I can’t live without you.”
I break eye contact and look away, and he sighs, “Let’s get you home, baby. Cole is waiting in the truck.”
I nod as he lets go of my cheek, then stands straight, but not before pressing another kiss on my head and muttering, “I won’t lose you…”
I don’t answer him, not really knowing what to say as he rounds the wheelchair, grabs my bags, and pushes me towards the door.
He says he can’t lose me, yet he thought I was having an affair and was willing to walk away at first, willing to work on co-parenting, so how can he expect me to live with what he did when he actually had an affair?
Maybe we need to go back to Dr. Chimes together instead of just me on my own where my rape is concerned. I can get everything out that is messed up in my head with her as a buffer, and maybe, even if it hurts, Ty will see we’re too far gone now….right?