Chapter 39
Alfie needed to talk to Rhys. He knew that.
Even without Rosie asking him every day if he’d talked to him yet.
He didn’t know what he was supposed to say.
I think I’ve been in love with you since we became friends.
I hate watching you sell yourself so short and give yourself to anyone who smiles at you.
That would come out wrong. Rhys would call him a prude. It wouldn’t be the first time that word had been thrown at him. Wouldn’t even be the first time Rhys accused him of it. Even if English had been his first language, he wasn’t sure he’d find it easy to put into words how he felt about sex.
It’s not that he hated it or was repulsed by it.
Or thought it was wrong to have it outside of marriage.
That would make him rather a hypocrite. He just didn’t see why it had to be shoved in everyone’s faces all the time.
So what if he only had the urge to get naked with someone he formed a connection to?
Why did that have to make him the strange one?
For a long time, he thought it had. That there was something wrong with him.
Just like Marcus said back when they were fifteen.
He’d heard Marcus’s father, the head missionary that year, give a sermon about the sins of the flesh the next day.
And Tomas… He didn’t want to think about what his supposed best friend said to him when Alfie confessed his feelings to him.
One of these days he was really going to learn.
He shook that off as he hovered by the cargo area of the bus. He’d stowed his bag away, so he should make his way up onto the bus. He’d thought he could wait for Rhys to arrive, but he still wasn’t here yet.
He’d been quiet the last couple days, which was unusual. It hadn’t just been with Alfie. He hadn’t noticed Rhys up to his usual antics with their teammates either. Sure, he talked to them and joked around, but it was not up to his usual level.
Alfie wondered if anyone else noticed, or it was only him who could tell. Something was definitely going on with him. Even though he’d played fine in Saturday’s game, Alfie could tell there had been something.
He should have talked to Rhys the other night. He had let it go too long. Maybe Rhys thought Alfie was angry with him. That was why he seemed to avoid Alfie the last couple days. He just knew he needed to figure this out before it went on any longer.
“Are you going to get on the bus or just stand there?”
Alfie had been so intent on watching for Rhys he hadn’t heard anyone come up behind him. He looked over his shoulder at Henry Merritt.
“We aren’t leaving yet,” Alfie said.
“No, but you’re always one of the first to show up and be waiting on the bus. You don’t usually just stand out here.”
“I am waiting,” Alfie said.
“But not on the bus,” Henry said as if sorting out some puzzle.
Alfie looked down at his shoes then back up at Henry. “Not on the bus.”
Henry shook his head then turned away. “Whatever, man. You stand out on the baking pavement. I’m getting on.”
Once Henry was gone, Alfie glanced around the parking lot again.
No sign of Rhys. He would be here. There wasn’t really any other option.
When another teammate came by and gave him a strange look, heat which came more from just the sun blasted through him.
He would have to wait and talk to Rhys on the bus.
Once they were sitting together, they could have a conversation. Or in their room at the hotel.
Once they were in a room alone together… they didn’t talk.
The bus would probably be better. He’d just have to wait for Rhys to get here.
Except when he climbed up onto the bus, Rhys sat halfway up the aisle, the seat next to him already occupied. Alfie stopped and stared at him. Rhys had been on the bus all this time? He never got here before Alfie. What was going on here?
Rhys looked up as Alfie broke out of his stupor and headed down the aisle.
He sent a quick smile, not with his usual brightness, but it was there at least. Except he looked tired.
Had he stayed out late last night? He hadn’t even asked Alfie if he wanted to come along.
Alfie never wanted to go out, but he did want to spend time with Rhys. He could have at least asked.
Alfie sank down into the nearest empty seat and took out his phone. He stared at the blank screen. He did not know what was going on. The hotel. He would talk to Rhys once they got to the hotel. He’d just have to make sure they kept their hands to themselves until they actually talked.
Alfie:
I think I messed up
Rosalita:
You didn’t miss your bus, did you?
Alfie:
Of course not.
Rosalita:
Then what is the problem?
Alfie:
Rhys is sitting with Elijah
Rosalita:
Did he find a new best friend
Sorry, Jen took my phone
But, she’s right. Does it matter that he’s sitting with someone else
It’s one bus ride
Alfie:
He’s barely talked to me
And he was early today. he was already on the bus when I arrived
Rosalita:
You say that like it’s a miracle
Alfie:
Because it is!
Something’s wrong, and he won’t tell me
Rosalita:
Have you tried asking him?
Alfie:
I hate you
Rosalita:
I love you too. Call me later