Chapter 57
Rhys was not sure what he had done wrong. Alfie had barely spoken to him since they’d taken that drive around town. Sure, he’d had to attend practice and then dress for the game. That was three days ago.
It wasn’t like Alfie was giving him the silent treatment. They were talking. About the games and what was going on with Alfie’s family. He didn’t say anything about them. He brushed off the few advances Rhys tried to make.
Like that moment they’d had Wednesday night hadn’t meant anything at all.
This bus ride home felt so awkward. Like there was actually a physical wall between the two of them.
Rhys never should have taken him on the walk down memory lane. Obviously it had been enough to show Alfie Rhys wasn’t worth anything. Craig showing up nailed that coffin shut.
He wished he knew how to make it better. Even when he just ran his hand over Alfie’s thigh, Alfie shifted away. As if since he’d seen what a mess Rhys was, even the slightest touch disgusted him. Rhys had known it would happen. Everyone always realized he wasn’t worth it.
He hoped he’d have longer before that happened.
He didn’t look at anyone as he climbed off the bus and waited to get his bag from the cargo area. “I can get that for you.”
“I can grab my own bag. I’m not in the sling anymore. I’m not that useless.”
A strangled sound came out of Alfie’s mouth, but Rhys was already taking his bag and striding away.
He didn’t need Alfie’s pity when he couldn’t stand to be near Rhys.
And only sat there due to a lack of choices.
Rhys hadn’t been sure who else had been on the bus when Alfie climbed on back at the hotel.
Only that he had been one of the last ones.
As if he’d put it off until the last minute.
Rhys didn’t want to think about why he would have felt it necessary to do that. He didn’t want to think about anything. His brain would not stop. He was afraid if he went to his apartment that was all he would be able to do.
Except going out to a club and being around all those people filled him with a feeling of dread. He wasn’t used to that. Rhys liked being around people. Why did the thought of it suddenly make him want to run?
He sat behind the steering wheel of his car and pulled out his phone. He’d exchanged some texts with Mel over the week, but they’d dropped off after Thursday. Each time he saw their name, guilt ate at him. They’d been starting something and what had he done? Slept with Alfie. Again.
Nothing like fucking up every good thing in his life.
It hadn’t been Mel who dropped the ball after his apology. They didn’t know what he’d done. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to tell them. They wouldn’t want anything to do with him once they knew. He wouldn’t even blame them. He’d been the one to ruin everything.
Just like he always did.
Rhys
We just got back. Are you at home?
Mel
And alone too. For the first time all week
Rhys
Has it been a rough one
Mel
Not exactly. I just didn’t understand what a change it could be not having any time to myself.
Rhys:
I can leave you alone then. Let you have that time
His phone rang before he could even throw it down on the passenger seat. “Hey,” he answered when Mel’s name flashed on the screen. “You didn’t have to call. I think I’m just going to head to my apartment. I shouldn’t have bothered you.”
Mel was silent, and Rhys wondered if there was some glitch in their connection. Then they said, “You aren’t bothering me, Rhys. I’m not sure why you would think that. Or why you keep apologizing to me.”
They would hate him once he told them. It would be better to do it now than when he was over there.
He thought of what Alfie said to him Monday night at that restaurant.
What if Mel was upset with him, but because he would be in front of them, they’d be afraid of retribution so would go along to keep the peace?
It didn’t matter if he would never do something to them, if they didn’t know that.
“I slept with Alfie. Wednesday night.”
“Congratulations?”
His eyes popped open at the laugh he was sure he heard in their voice. “You aren’t upset? We were starting something, and I went and sabotaged that.”
“Did you think you were cheating when you did it, Rhys? Did you do it to put a stop to whatever we might have started? Did you think I expected exclusivity when all we’d done was make out a little?”
He tried to keep all their questions in order, but his head spun. “You didn’t?”
“I didn’t even demand exclusivity from my last girlfriend, and we’d been dating for more than a year. I don’t buy that bullshit that if you’re attracted to someone while you’re with someone else, it means you don’t actually love that first person. Is this thing with Alfie new?”
“No.” Rhys choked out the single word. “But every time, he just…walks away. If he doesn’t want me, why does he… Never mind. I’m a mess. I should just go home.”
“No. Please come over. I’ve missed you.”
“You still want to see me?”
“Of course.”
He swallowed hard. He didn’t understand why. Even his best friend didn’t want to be around him. “I’ll be there in about ten minutes.”
“I’ll be waiting.”