Chapter 88
“That was completely in the zone.” Rhys turned toward the umpire. “Have you lost your mind? How could you call that a ball?”
“Turn back around, Molson. Play the game or you’re out of here.”
Rhys took several deep breaths but he returned to his position, calling for a fastball, inside corner. Carson hit it. Perfectly.
“You have got to be kidding me.” Rhys shoved up his mask as he spun around. “That was a strike.”
“Shut up, Molson.”
“No. You can’t actually think that was a ball. Where exactly did it miss the zone?”
“That’s it. You’re done.”
“Open your fricking eyes. Then I’ll be done.”
“You’re out of here.”
Rhys felt Turner’s hand on his arm, and someone else pushed him back. “Go cool down.”
He was shaking as he headed through the tunnel and into the locker room. Fuck. God fucking damn it.
Rhys threw his helmet toward the locker stall then unbuckled his shin guards and tossed them against the wall. He dropped down on the bench and put his head into his hands. They were going to lose, and it was his fucking fault.
Craig was right. He really was worthless. Even the one way he didn’t usually screw up, and he was letting everyone down.
“Are you quite finished?”
Rhys looked up into Doc Brady’s face. “Turner call you already?”
“I was still in my office. It wasn’t a long trek for me to come find you. I would have heard the commotion even if he had not alerted me to an issue. You want to come into my office?”
“No, I don’t want to come into your fucking office. I just want to stop fucking up.”
Brady sank down on the end of the bench. “What exactly are you fucking up?”
“Try everything, Doc. Relationship. Reputations. This whole team. We’re going to lose, again, because I can’t get my shit together.”
“You are not the only one on this team.” He shook his head. “It's a wonder how many of you I have to tell that to.”
“I’m the one who keeps calling pitches they’re hitting over the wall.” Like the day before. Ever since Craig had been waiting outside of Mel’s house. The pictures had gone live this morning, with the typical suggestive captions, but the public hadn’t run with them the way Craig thought they would.
There’d even been one reporter, Cai O’Byrne, who wrote a scathing article in support of them. That shouldn’t have surprised him as much as it did, since ey had also stood up for Caleb and Brock, when certain other reporters tried to make a mockery of their relationship.
He’d left the clubhouse the night before and gone straight home, not even speaking to Alfie. They’d both texted and called, but he hadn’t been able to bring himself to answer.
They hadn’t asked for this by having him in their lives.
“Do you want to talk about what’s going on?”
“No.” God, what was he doing? How was he going to figure out what he was supposed to do if he kept doing the same things he’d always done? Wasn’t that how he’d messed everything up? He looked up at Brady. “Did you see the pictures online?”
“Yes, Rhys. We put out a comment which you could have helped us craft if you hadn’t shut down.”
He rubbed a hand over his face. “My foster brother took them and sold them to that rag. He thought he could hold my depravity over my head.”
“Caring about people is not depravity, Rhys.”
“Even sleeping with two of them?”
Brady shrugged. “Polyamory is a thing, and not anyone else’s business.”
“Craig doesn’t think that way. He spent even more time than I did with the Lowrys. They adopted him. You know how Brock’s family is? Well, the Lowrys would have gotten along with them like a house on fire.”
“I’ve never understood why that is good.”
Rhys let out a rough laugh. “Me neither. Especially when it comes to them. Craig caught me the first time I kissed a boy. He… He beat the shit out of me when I got home, and when he told our foster parents… I was the one who needed to make amends. Fucking repent. They started praying for me every night at dinner, which was the only time I was allowed out of my room. I ran away. Several times, until they couldn’t deal anymore, and I went to the group home until I aged out. ”
“Have you spoken to them since then?”
“Not until Craig showed up in New Cresthill after our game. I got into a college on the other side of Ohio, and never looked back. I tried to be what they wanted, but it was never good enough. As soon as I messed up, any good I’d done just got wiped away. I was always going to be a failure.”
“Not everyone views you that way. Surely you know that.”
Rhys hung his head down, it was only a matter of time. Alfie and Mel would both see they were better off without him, and he’d be right back where he started. Brady stood and walked away, and when he came back, he held a card out to Rhys. “What’s that?” Rhys asked.
“A colleague of mine.”
“How many of those do you have?”
Brady cracked a smile. “In my profession, it’s good to network. No one can know everything. This colleague specializes in clients with childhood trauma and attachment disorders.”
“I don’t—”
“You were abandoned as a toddler. You were shifted from home to home. You were, at the least, emotionally abused by people who signed off on being caretakers for you. If that doesn’t cause trauma in a person, I don’t know what would.
It’s more than I’m equipped to handle, Rhys.
I want you to get the help you need, not just so you can give the best to this team, but so you can have the best life possible.
That includes whoever you welcome into it.
You deserve to chase your happiness as much as anyone else. ”
Rhys opened his mouth, but the words he’d said to Nik the day before came back to him. He closed his mouth and dropped his gaze. “Even if it doesn’t look like what everyone else wants,” he murmured.
“Exactly,” Brady said. “Your life isn’t everyone else’s. You deserve to have what makes it suitable for you. And the people you want to have in it.”
Rhys looked up at him. “You really think they’d still want me? I haven’t spoken to them since those pictures.”
“That’s something you have to figure out on your own, but they deserve more from you than people who gave up on you years ago.
Whatever your foster brother wanted, you’re under no obligation to give it.
If you need us to step in, do not hesitate to ask.
You’re family, Rhys. This family does take care of their own. You should know that already.”
When Brady walked away, Rhys looked down at the card in his hands. He dug his phone out of his locker and made a call.