27
REECE
I drop the angry hellcat onto my bed, fully expecting her to jump up and claw my eyes out. For such a small person, Aurora is fierce when she’s mad.
Instead, she crawls toward the pillows and climbs under my covers. I was only going to handcuff her if absolutely necessary, but I didn’t expect her to obey.
Maybe she’s tired. She could use a nap.
One thing’s for sure, though—this will really fuck with my fantasies.
She crisscrosses her legs, gets comfortable, and raises her chin.
“I read a true crime documentary where an undercover agent spent nineteen years with a woman. They got married and had a kid. All the while, he was investigating her father, and it was all part of his job. The marriage wasn’t even legal. ”
Unsure where this is going, I fold my arms over my chest. I support the mission, but I draw the line at forced intimate relationships, and I’d never have a child with someone I didn’t intend to be with.
Why is she researching this stuff? I open my mouth to ask, but she continues.
“And you think I’m some diabolical mastermind taking advantage of you ?
” Her voice escalates, ready to tear me apart.
“For what? I’m going to stroke your ego and play with your feelings so you’ll bring mefucking pastries?
” she shouts then sucks in a breath, amping up for my next scolding. “You’re fucking delusional.”
Okay, she’s mad, mad. Angrier than I’ve ever seen her.
“Did you forget I had no idea who you were? I let you into my life. I trusted you— depended on you. You lied to me as part of your job ,” she air quotes. “And I forgave you.”
She takes another gasping inhale, and I step toward her, ready to intervene.
“You’re in our house, included in our family. How dare you allow someone to say I’m nothing but pussy playing you? You’re not even getting any!”
Her voice cracks and her lip quivers, and without thinking, I’m in bed with her, boots and all.
“What are you doing?” she hisses and pushes at my chest.
I grab her wrists with one hand, holding them above her head, and yank the blanket over us with the other, trapping us in our own world. Per Jax, there are no cameras in the bedrooms, save for the nursery, but you never know with him.
She trembles, fighting back tears, her breath coming in ragged gasps.
I brush my knuckles along her cheekbone.
“You’re okay. Just breathe. You’re panicking, angel, but nothing has changed.
Jax and Ethan are only trying to protect you.
Your husband is the same unhinged, reckless person he has always been.
He had no intention of anyone seeing the videos, and if I hadn’t found his phone at Kyle’s, nobody would’ve known.
” I release her wrists and sweep her hair from her damp face.
“I’m not going anywhere. You’re safe. You can trust me. ”
She glares daggers at me, and I lie on my back, giving her space.
I never considered how my actions affected her.
At one point, I was the one she depended on, the one constant in her life, and I ripped that away when she discovered I was an agent.
In Bryant Park, she asked about the future indirectly.
Her hesitation is understandable. She’d never compromise her loyalty to Jax and Ethan.
For whatever reason, maybe because she thought I was leaving again, she got up the courage to ask me to stay, and I shot her down.
Then, Charlie.
She rolls onto her side and rests her head on my shoulder, her arm around me. “What are we doing?”
“I don’t know.” I’m just as confused as she is.
“I’m sorry I kicked you.”
“I’m sorry for what you overheard. I’m still living a double life, and sometimes, it’s easier to be dismissive.
I didn’t mean it, you know that.” I lean down and nuzzle her because I can’t help myself.
Her skin is incredibly soft, and her seductive scent messes with my head.
“Are you worried I’ll leave you? It’s only us. Be honest with me.”
A shaky breath escapes her. “I am honest with you. I told you I wanted you to stay.”
Fuck, I wish she’d give me a straight answer. Or one I can understand, at least. “Why do you want me to stay?”
She peers up at me, eyes red and her lips swollen. My heart slams into my rib cage. Our faces are only inches apart. I could easily weave my fingers through her hair and kiss her, as I’ve imagined many, many times.
“What’s the point of asking if you’ll only get angry with my answer?”
Our gazes lock, and I sense the significance of this moment.A heavy silence hangs between us, the unspoken truth threatening to crush me either way. It’s time to face reality and confront whatever this is—no more playing. No more pretending. No more fantasizing. No more beating around the bush.
When I stay silent, she releases a disappointed sigh, and her shoulders sag. “You want me to tell you what to do. You want me to say things I can’t, make promises I can’t. I’m giving you everything you said was enough, but it’s not, is it?”
Her lips tremble. A tear slides down the bridge of her nose, and I brush it away with my thumb, my fingers lingering on her cheek.
Is this enough for me? I’m not so sure anymore. I find myself wanting more and more, and that’s where the frustration lies.
I swallow hard, my voice rough when I say, “I guess not.”
“So, yeah. I’m afraid you’ll leave because eventually, you will.
I want you here for selfish reasons. A part of me wishes you’d stop doing this—coming into my life and pretending to be what I need, pretending this is enough for you, pretending you’re staying.
” She searches my eyes. “I won’t blame you if you leave.
You should. You deserve better. You deserve someone who’ll love you without boundaries. ”
I’m not pretending. I’ve told her this before, but none of that matters. What matters is how she feels, and her words have my stomach taking a dive.
I glide my fingers into her hair and cup the back of her head. “Say that again.”
Her brows furrow. “You deserve better.”
“Keep going.”
“You deserve someone who’ll love you without boundaries.”
“Do you love me? With boundaries?”
Her lips part as her eyes well up, tears clinging to her long lashes. “That’s not fair of me to answer.” Her voice is barely above a whisper.
I nod. My throat goes dry, and I swallow again.
“I’m not pretending. I’m here because it physically hurts me to stay away.
I leave because of my job, which may continue to happen, as much as I don’t want it to.
” I kiss her forehead then her nose, tasting the salt of her tears. “I’ll always find my way back to you.”
She lays her head on my chest and closes her eyes. “Ethan wants you here. Jax wouldn’t let you live here if he didn’t.”
The implication of more, regardless of her intentions, goes straight to my heart…and other places.
Needing to clear my head before I do something stupid, I pull the blanket down. The room is darker now, full of shadows, as if the universe wills us to have this moment alone.
“Do you think this is weird?” She yawns and covers her mouth.
“Which part?” I chuckle. “Our life is quite unusual.”
“Us lying together. The four of us living together. Me being pregnant. You not allowing me to leave, carrying me into the house. Aren’t you worried Charlie will say something?”
She places her small hand on my stomach, and I interlace our fingers.
“At home, we can do whatever we want. I’ll talk to Charlie. You’ve been pregnant the entire time I’ve been with you. I cared for you in New York, carried you to bed, and you were pregnant. Nothing has changed.”
She makes a sleepy sound of agreement.
“You wanna nap in your room or stay here?”
“Here.”
I hold her close, replaying her words in my head until she drifts off. Then, I carefully break free of her to find my partner.