Chapter 49
Jackson
The scalding water scorches my skin, but no matter how hot I crank the lever, it doesn’t burn away the guilt or distract me from the memories.
Aurora showered and fell asleep after dinner, exhausted from the long day, week, month.
Reece is getting his sister and Danny settled into the guest suite.
While Ethan went to the twins’ apartment, likely to discuss mafia shit he didn’t wish Harper to overhear, I stayed behind, avoiding Lucas like a fucking coward.
I want to support him, comfort him, but when I look at him, I relive my own trauma. The pain is visceral—a sharp blade slicing my skin, a kick in the ribs, hands where they don't belong... The flashbacks only last seconds, but they’re torture.
And they keep coming.
My stomach twists, bile rises in my throat, and my chest constricts until I struggle to breathe. Tears prickle my eyes, and I press my forehead to the glass, my arms braced above me.
Will this horror ever end? We’re safe in New York, but the nightmare still follows me.
The shower door slams, but it barely registers through the mental fog. I’m too numb to react, too spaced out.
“Jesus Christ, Jax.” Ethan reaches past me and twists the knob, cooling the punishing spray. “You’re hurting yourself.”
“Mm.” I emit a sound that’s half acknowledgment, half apathy, but I don’t turn around. I can’t. I’ve lost every bit of energy.
Soft lips press to the back of my neck. “I’ve got you.” His tone is gentle but speaks volumes.
Whatever I need, he always provides. He’ll drag me out of this darkness by my hair if he has to.
Kisses trail down my spine, each one a spark of life that ignites my soul and loosens the fist gripping my heart. He grabs the bodywash from the recessed shelf, slicks his hands, and massages my shoulders. The firm pressure of his fingers eases my tense muscles, and I release a shaky sigh.
“That’s it, baby.” He digs his thumbs into my tight knots. “Come back to me.”
I don’t hesitate. I lean into him, craving our connection. He holds me close, his arms around me, the water cascading over us.
His touch, coupled with the emotional drain, cracks something open within me. “Lucas—” My heart races, and a wave of dizziness washes over me.
Ethan traces the defined lines of my abs. “Lucas is well taken care of, I promise. He has the twins and Reece. He’s focused on vengeance. He wants to fight these fuckers in his own way. He’ll be okay. I’ll make sure of it.”
“Thank you.” I inhale deeply and force myself to let it out. “I keep seeing it.” My body trembles, and I take another breath of steamy air. “Every time I look at him, I see myself. I see that cell…”
Ethan’s hands pause their exploration of my stomach but don’t abandon me. “Do you want me to stop?”
“No.” I shake my head. “I need you.”
Even now, with my soul in tatters, I crave him—maybe even more so—and I know he craves me too. His arousal is pressed to my ass.
He resumes his caress. “What do you need?”
I swallow hard, my throat tight, and push back against him. “Love me.”
He stills. “I do love you. I love you so much, it’s insane.”
“Show me.” I spell it out for him. “Fuck me.”
He grips my hips to stop me from grinding on him. “I want you to want me, not use me as a distraction.”
I turn to him and encircle my arms around his neck.
His wet hair is the color of midnight, and I can’t resist burying my fingers in his thick waves.
“I want you every fucking day—you know that.” How could he not?
I’m annoyingly clingy and begging for it.
“I’ve wanted you since the first time the three of us slept together.
I needed you long before then. You’re the reason I’m breathing, the reason I have Aurora.
You’re far from a distraction.” My eyes well up again.
“You’re the pulse in my chest, and not a day will go by that I don’t need you. If that’s the problem—”
“It’s not.” His lips find mine, desperate and hungry. “I was just checking,” he mumbles between kisses. “I’ll always give you what you need.”
He deepens the kiss, and I melt into him. His hands slide down my back, cup my ass, and pull me closer until our erections brush.
I reach between us and fist his length. “Then give me this.” I stroke him slowly. “Please. Take the edge off. Make me feel good.” Make me forget.
His eyes darken, as if he can read my thoughts.
He grabs my chin and backs me against the shower wall.
“I want you to remember one thing.” His fingertips dig into my jaw.
“You’re mine. Stop drifting off to places I can’t follow.
Every time you do, I want you to think about how pissed I’d be.
Control what’s going on up here.” He taps my temple.
“Flip the script. Picture me murdering every motherfucker who touches you.” He leans in, holding my gaze, speaking directly to my memories.
“No man is allowed to touch you but me.” He kisses my lips gently. “Now turn around.”
I obey, my heart pounding a frantic rhythm, and rest my forearms on the glass wall.
“Good boy.”
Behind me, he flicks open the cap of the body oil. His praise, combined with anticipation, sends a shiver down my spine, and I shudder despite the heat.
His slick fingers trace the cleft of my ass. “Spread your legs wider.”
My feet move at his command. He circles my entrance, and my breath hitches. He slides a finger inside me, and ecstasy shoots straight to my dick.
I rock my hips and beg for more. “Please, Ethan.”
“So responsive.” He adds a second finger while sinking his teeth into the curve of my neck.
The bite. The stretch. Adrenaline surges through my veins, and I groan, “More.”
“I love how desperate you are for me.”
His words carry a dark, satisfied smile, and my chest swells. All I truly want is to satisfy him—wholly—until he’s as obsessed as I am.
He crooks his fingers, finding a spot that has me seeing stars.
My eyes roll back, and my forehead falls to the glass. “Fuck, right there.”
“You’re so fucking beautiful. Every part of you.” He works his fingers deeper, stretching me open while his free hand grips my hip to hold me steady.
The sensation borders between pleasure and pain, and I lose myself completely. “Please,” I whimper, my cock throbbing and leaking between my legs. “I need you inside me.”
***
Ethan
Steam curls around us, creating our own world where nothing exists but the two of us.
“You ready for me?” My voice is rough with need, and I swallow hard.
“Yes,” he breathes.
I remove my fingers, slick my cock with more oil, then line up at his entrance. “Look at me.”
He twists to meet my gaze over his shoulder, and the longing in his eyes has desire swooping low in my stomach, the air catching in my lungs.
“I want to see you.” I thrust forward. “Don’t look away.”
His pupils dilate, and his lips part on a sharp gasp. I breach that tight ring of muscle and pause, letting him adjust. His ass pulses around me, and I hiss, tensing my thighs to keep from plunging into him.
“Don’t stop,” he whimpers, brows pinched. “Please don’t stop.”
He pushes back, I slide in another inch, and we both groan. His eyelids flutter, but he doesn’t break eye contact. It’s intense, the connection between us intoxicating, transcending the physical.
“I love you.” The words slip out before I can stop them. “I love everything about you.”
“Love you too,” he whispers, breath ragged. “I love being yours.”
I love being yours. Fuck, if that doesn’t tear me apart.
He’s mine. Mine to care for and love. Mine to protect and adore. All mine.
I widen my stance and weave our fingers together above his head. “Go ahead.” I place a kiss below his ear. “You’re in control. Take my cock.”
He rocks his hips and draws me deeper. He trembles, muscles taut, and bites his bottom lip.
“That’s it, baby.” I squeeze his hands, digging my fingertips into his palms to anchor him to me. “You can take me. Show me how much you want my cock.”
He sinks back until I’m fully seated inside him, his ass flush against me.
“God, Jax.” My chest heaves, and I fight to remain still. “Your ass feels so fucking good.”
Unable to resist, I roll my hips, and a choked moan escapes his throat.
“Please, Ethan.”
His tight heat clenches, and my knees nearly buckle.
“Fuck me,” he begs. “Give it to me.”
Releasing one of his hands to grip his hip, I withdraw until only the tip remains then punch forward slowly, making sure he feels every inch.
“Holy fucking shit,” he groans, his glazed eyes locked on mine, pleasure contorting his features. “You’re huge.”
I can’t hide my smug smile. “Is it okay? Are you okay?”
He mirrors my grin. “Fuck, yeah. Give me that big cock, Coach.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
I thrust again, watching his face for any sign of discomfort. There’s none—just pure, unadulterated ecstasy.
“Harder.” He arches his back, all cut muscle and smooth skin. “You won’t break me, Ethan. I can handle you.” He grinds against me, taking me deeper. “I want all of you. Every dirty part. Give it to me. Use me. Fuck me.”
His admission unleashes something primal within me, and I drive into him, wanting to imprint myself on his soul.
We establish a rhythm. His body jolts with each slap of my hips, his hand clutching mine. He turns his head, seeking my mouth. My lips find his in a rough, messy kiss, our tongues tangling as we swallow each other’s desperate moans.
I angle my hips, searching for that spot that will make him—
“Fuck—right there.” His forehead falls to the glass.
I hammer into him relentlessly, hitting his prostate with each stroke—or at least, I think I am. His moans echo off the tiles, more needy with each thrust.
His ass becomes a vise grip, and I reach around to palm his erection, finding him slick and leaking at the tip.
“You gonna come for me?” I alternate between massaging his balls and stroking him.
His free hand reaches back to thread through my hair. “Y-yes.”
I nip at his neck. “Tell me where you want my cum, baby boy.”
“Inside me.”
His rushed answer pushes me closer to the edge, and my balls hug my shaft.
We become feral for one another. He fists my hair, and I stroke him hard and fast. We meet each other thrust for punishing thrust, our bodies colliding.
“I’m going to fill your ass with my cum, Jax.” I increase my pace, pounding into him, my control slipping. “You take me so fucking well.”
He clenches my length and lets out a strangled cry. His dick jerks, and his hot release coats my fingers. His ass pulses around me as if he’s milking the cum straight from my balls, and my entire body twitches.
I bury myself deep, emptying with a guttural growl, my cock jolting with aftershocks.
“Jax… God…” My forehead drops between his shoulder blades, and I gasp for air. “My legs are numb. I can’t move.”
He laughs, fucking laughs. “That was awesome,” he pants. “I can’t wait to do it again—like tomorrow.”
I’m reluctant to pull out, and my spent cock softens inside him. “No.”
“Why? I’ll fuck Aurora while you fuck me…and Reece can fuck her too. It’s perfect.”
Jesus Christ, he’s going to be the death of me. “Save that for the destination wedding you’re planning.”