Chapter 4
FOUR
Jace and I walked back out to the bar, and it seemed like he’d rejoin his team over in the far booth.
He’d shown me another side of him in the supply closet, but it was hard to trust him, especially after Cade’s warnings.
But instead of leaving me to fend for myself, Jace followed me to the bar, taking a seat on the far edge near the cash register.
Every time I turned toward, there he sat, sipping on the water bottle I’d slid him earlier.
True to his word, he didn’t order any more alcohol; instead, he chatted away with the other patrons.
As the night wore on, the smell of beer hung in the air, and the music downstairs seemed on repeat, but Jace’s unflappable smile never failed, not unless he looked down at his phone.
Whenever he started typing, his grin shifted into a frown, and curiosity kept me staring at him.
After forcing myself to stay away for an hour, when he grimaced at his phone for the fifth time, I moved in front of him. As I dried a glass, I nodded at his phone, now clutched in his grip. “Everything okay?”
He looked up and gave me the same blinding smile, but this time, it didn’t reach his eyes. As I kept staring back at him, his features fell.“My agent. He’s pretty pissed at me right now.”
“About the game?”
“Among other things.” Jace grimaced. He placed the phone face down on the counter. “Doesn’t help that he’s my dad.”
“What?”
He shifted back in the seat, running his hands over his thighs. “Yup. We don’t have the best father and son relationship, especially when I don’t perform on the field.”
Jace’s eyes darkened, and my chest tightened. I had no idea how his shoulders held so much weight. This man was a major league baseball player, and I was a nobody—a person drowning in her own life. I was the last person who should dole out any advice.
As soon as that expression flooded his face, he pushed it away, pasting on the same grin. He leaned in closer to me. “What do you want to eat later?”
“Eat?”
“Yeah,” he grinned. “Remember, the whole reason I’m here? Not waiting out here for my health, new girl.”
I flinched, almost dropping the glass at my feet, and heat flooded my cheeks.
The entire time we were in that back room, it was hard to ignore Jace’s presence.
I’d tried to ignore the way his eyes tracked my every movement, scrutinizing each of my facial features, ignore the ache inside my chest, begging me to get closer to him.
And I would have kept up that wall between us, at least until he spoke so honestly to me.
It was the biggest aphrodisiac. If he’d kept up the cocky smirk and the impenetrable facade, I could have brushed him off as another jackass.
But those dark cracks showed the parts he kept hidden from the rest of the world.
It called out to the loneliness deep in my chest, the one that kept me up late into the night, wondering if it would ever fade.
For most of my life, it had just been my mom and me.
My dad took off when my mom found out she was pregnant and never bothered to come back and meet me.
Chelsea had also been there, more sister than friend, but it wasn’t the same bond I had with my mom.
No one could ever replace her. Living without her was like living with an open wound, one time might not heal.
I cleared my throat, forcing away the coming tears. “You should go. I already told you, there’s no need to thank me. It was my fault you got hurt in the first place.”
Jace’s smile faded away, and he reached out across the bar. When I flinched, he pulled back but tightened his fist at his side. “That came out wrong. I’m here because I want to be here. Besides, it’s interesting to watch you work.”
My spine straightened. “What do you mean?”
He shook his head. “Never mind, forget I said anything.”
I leaned my elbows on the edge of the bar. “Tell me, Jace. What do you think you’ve learned about me?”
He searched my eyes before shifting closer. Our hands almost touched across the surface, close enough that the heat radiating off his skin collided with my own. “You’re confident behind the bar, but a little rusty. You keep checking your phone when people ask for mixed drinks.”
I snorted. “That’s not uncommon.”
“True,” he muttered. “But everyone else has been here for a while, so they act a certain way when the VIPs roll in. They flirt, try to get tips, do everything to make the customers feel special. You’re different—kind, but only to a point.
The minute the conversation turns personal, you shut them down.
” He shifted closer, lowering his voice so no one else heard him. “And why is that, Kins?”
The breath left my lungs, feeling too exposed. “Maybe I like it that way.”
“Maybe,” he shrugged. “But I think it’s more than that. Like you’re not interested in being a part of the team.”
“Is that such a bad thing?” I turned to grab another glass, hiding the pink that lined my cheeks. Now that Jace had sobered up, he saw a little too much, more than I wanted him to see.
“It can be,” Jace said. “It’s got to get lonely, keeping everyone at arm’s length, not letting them get too close.”
He spoke as if he knew the same struggle, knew what it was like to want to let people in, yet to be unable to move past that fear.
Suddenly, my skin became too tight, and my heart pounded louder in my chest. Too exposed, too vulnerable.
Everything I hated being. This man—this stranger—had the audacity to point out my insecurity as if he were picking food off the menu.
My senses overwhelmed me, and I needed to get out of this room.
Away from Jace, away from his too-knowing stare.
After I lifted off the bar, I shook my head. “Go back to your team, Jace. I’m not your problem to solve.”
At the end of the night, I closed the register with a loud groan.
Every part of my body hurt: my hands, my feet, and certainly my head.
Hunger pangs twisted through my stomach, screaming at me to eat something, considering the last thing I’d consumed was an old granola bar at the beginning of my shift.
The thought of food made me think of Jace, wondering where he’d gone after I brushed him off earlier, but his comments cut deeper—deeper than they should have.
I wasn’t trying to have an edge with everyone around me, but there was no use opening up to anyone else.
Grief had turned me into the worst version of myself, bitter and angry at the world.
Not to mention, I didn’t belong in this city, not anymore.
It wasn’t home without my mom—New York might not be everything I dreamed, but at least every corner didn’t remind me of her.
It was for the best that Jace left. If he’d stuck around, he’d realize I wasn’t worth the effort. My head was barely above water, and no one else should have to drown alongside me.
I nodded to Cade as he headed out of the locker room while I entered it, but before he could leave, I reached out and placed my hand on his arm. “Thank you for all of your help tonight.”
“You got it, Kins.” He grinned down at me. “Hopefully, I’ll see you around a lot more.”
“Doubtful,” I sighed. “This was a one-time favor for Chelsea. I’m heading back to Manhattan in a couple of days”
“That’s too bad,” Cade answered. “Told Mark you did great. If you were local, I’d love to have you on more of my shifts. You saved us tonight, and I told him as much.”
My smile stretched across my entire face. “Thank you, Cade. You didn’t have to—”
“I wanted to.” His eyes danced with mine, and I waited, hoping for that hint of a spark. Not only was he handsome, but all night, he’d shown me nothing but kindness, kept me smiling even after I messed up. But no. My stubborn little heart only came back to life when Jace smiled down at me.
With one last pat on his arm, I walked into the locker room and grabbed my things, ready to call it a night.
My stomach rumbled again, but it would have to wait until I got home.
Was anything in my fridge still good? Probably not.
Lately, off-brand cereals and canned soup had been the main staples of my diet.
Enough to fill me, but not to scratch that itch.
Whatever; it had to be enough. I wasn’t about to fill the fridge when I had to head back home in a few days.
My firm had granted me time off to deal with my mother’s last days and the fallout from her death, but I had to get back to work, get back to my life.
With one last wave over my shoulder to the rest of the staff, I walked out not paying attention as I shoved the heavy metal bar open. But when I crossed into the employee parking lot, dark blue eyes met mine. My hand darted to my chest. “Jace? What are you doing here?”
“Buying you food, remember?”
Once my heart rate went back to normal, I shook my head. “Thought you left.”
“Nah, just wanted to give you space,” Jace said. “You want me to go?”
Say yes. I should say yes. For the past hour, I’d come up with a dozen reasons it was a good thing Jace left, convinced myself I was relieved when he walked away from the bar. But seeing him now, I couldn’t help but smile.
“It’s okay.”
“Good.” Jace smirked. “Because I didn’t want to leave without talking to you first. I’m sorry, Kinsley. I have a bad habit of opening my mouth before I speak.”
“It’s fine—”
“No, it’s not.” Jace’s tone left no room for argument. “I had no right to talk to you like that. So if you want me to fuck off and leave you alone, I will. No explanation needed.”
He took a step back, and I searched his expression for a hint of a lie.
But only sincerity called back to me. The smart thing to do would be to accept his apology and move on from tonight, forget about Jace and all the words he’d said to me earlier.
But it gets lonely keeping everyone at arm’s length.
And God, he was so right. For one night, I wanted to pretend, to leave the past month in the periphery and let go for a couple of hours.
I was about to tell him as much when Cade appeared at my shoulder, his jaw set as he stared down at Jace leaning next to my car. “What are you doing here?”
I reached out to Cade, “It’s okay—”
“No, it’s not,” he bit back. “This is the employee parking lot. You shouldn’t be here, Jace. Go home, and leave Kinsley alone.”
Jace’s eyes never met mine. Instead, he kept staring at my hand on Cade’s arm. I moved it away and then stepped between the two men. I turned to Cade first. “Thanks for looking out for me, Cade, but I asked Jace to meet me out here. He forgot his wallet upstairs, and I was giving it back to him.”
He clenched his jaw, and the muscles in his neck twitched. “You sure, Kinsley?”
“Yeah, it’s all good. You can head out for the night.” I glanced over my shoulder back at Jace, who glared at Cade as if he wanted to rip his head from his body. “I can handle Jace.”
It took a few more seconds, but Cade eventually nodded, turning back toward his car.
When the door shut, the anger faded from Jace’s eyes, and he stepped closer to me.
My breath hitched in my chest when he reached up and brushed some of the hair away from my face, tucking it behind my ear.
“What about me, Kinsley? Do you want me to go?”
Yes, make the right choice for the first time tonight. Instead, my heart answered for me, and, truth be told, I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Jace just yet. Shaking my head, I stepped a little closer to him. “Nope. Believe you said something about food?”
Jace’s face shifted into a soul-crushing smile, more genuine than anything else I’d seen from him tonight. “Yeah. I did.”