Chapter 19
NINETEEN
The drive back to the apartment was silent. Chelsea’s stare held a thousand questions, but my throat was too tight to utter a word. All I could do was pull the air in and out of my lungs, still shaken from seeing Jace again after so much time.
The moment my eyes connected with his, all the emotions of the past two years came flooding back: the high of our time together to the sinking low of his rejection.
I wanted nothing more than to brush off the sting of his absence, to let go of that anger as he begged me to listen to him, but all I saw was red.
Screw that. Now he wanted to talk? Where was that man two years ago when I needed him?
He’d shut me out when my world crumbled around me, dismissing me without even a conversation. Over the years, I’d tried to let it go, focusing instead on the joy our daughter brought. However, from the moment Jace opened his mouth to speak, it was as if no time had passed at all.
My phone chimed in the cup holder—no doubt texts from Victoria. She deserved an explanation for my hasty exit, but I couldn’t bring myself to give it, not yet. Not when my emotions were a raw nerve, and I had no idea what would set them off again.
After we got back home, I rushed to the living room, finding Anna nestled in Mark’s arms, both of them asleep as a Disney movie played in the background.
I grabbed my daughter, cuddling her into my chest. Her baby shampoo filled my nostrils—clean and floral and so familiar, it made my heart ache.
Anna stirred in my arms, her eyes not opening, but her fist reached out and grabbed my shirt.
While Chelsea woke Mark up, I stepped into my room, rocking Anna as I got her ready for bed.
My room was small—it was technically the guest room.
When I kept my mother’s condo, I couldn’t bring myself to move into her bedroom.
Even now, the door remained closed, her clothes still in the closet, and her book sitting on the end table, as if she’d walk back in any moment.
Over the years, I’d tried to clean it out, but it was too much—too final.
So, I’d close the door and make an empty promise to try again in another month.
Now that Anna was growing, she needed her own space.
We couldn’t share a room forever. Even now, furniture, toys, and other items cluttered the space.
I had to shimmy sideways to get to my closet, my shins black and blue from trying to find my way in the dark.
But no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn’t bring myself to go into that room.
I changed Anna into a fresh diaper and her strawberry pajamas, rocking her back to sleep before placing her in her crib. She barely moved, too exhausted from her busy day with Mark to fight sleep.
The temptation to hide out in my room was so strong, to just stay in here with Anna and block out the rest of the world.
To avoid the coming questions, the ones I still wasn’t ready to answer.
But that would only work for so long; with Chelsea’s stubborn streak, there was no way she’d leave without us talking first.
I forced myself out of the room, feeling Chelsea at my back before the door clicked shut.
“Is Jace her father?” I swallowed and ducked my head as I turned around, unable to meet my best friend’s eyes. Searching the room, I looked for Mark, and Chelsea answered my unasked question. “He went home. I’ll call an Uber later. But answer my question, Kinsley. Is Jace Lyons Anna’s father?”
I forced my chin to dip.
Chelsea turned around and sat on the couch, rubbing her temples. We stayed in tense silence as I hovered in the doorway. When she finally spoke, her voice was low and broken. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t think it would come up,” I admitted, my own voice a whisper.
“Oh, bullshit,” Chelsea snapped. “We’ve told each other everything since the fifth grade.
When Tommy Fletcher shoved his tongue down my throat, you were my first call.
When Mark proposed, I told you before my mom.
I held your hand when you were in labor, Kinsley!
” She took a step back as if I’d struck her. “And you didn’t trust me with this?”
“No! It’s not that.” I swallowed, hating reliving one of the hardest days of my life.
“When I found out I was pregnant, I tried to tell him, but he blocked me before I could say anything about Anna.” Dark blue eyes flashed in my mind, and my heart sunk a little further into my chest. “After that, it was easier to pretend she didn’t have a dad.
That she was my little miracle, and that was it. ”
Chelsea’s hand reached out and covered mine. “So he doesn’t know?”
“Nope,” I said. “No one knows. Well, no one except for you.”
Chelsea stood and stormed into the kitchen. My heart suddenly came to life, pounding so hard in my chest, it seemed like it might give out. I rushed to her side, blocking her from getting her purse. “Please, Chels. Don’t leave. It was never about us, I just—”
“I’m not going anywhere. I’m getting a bottle of wine,” she said, cutting off my pleas.
My shoulders unclasped from my jaw, and tears filled my eyes.
After opening the bottle, Chelsea stepped in front of me, her ice-blue eyes filled with as much regret as my own.
“You’re not alone, Kins. Never have been.
Keep your secrets. I know you have your reasons. But I’m here for you, no matter what.”
I reached out and pulled her into a tight embrace.
My emotions didn’t trickle out—they came out like a tidal wave, spilling out in tears on her sweater.
My hands trembled as I held her, as her hands stroked my back like I did to Anna when she needed soothing.
I’d never realized how much this secret weighed on me, how much mental energy it took to keep Jace’s name from being uttered around Anna.
There was still a ribbon wrapped around my heart, one keeping me from letting him hurt me again.
But with Chelsea in my corner, the knot loosened slightly.
My phone chirped in my pocket, and we broke apart, wiping under our eyes. Chelsea shook her head. “You should get that. I’m going to grab glasses and head into the living room.”
When she left the room, I pulled out my phone, already dreading what I would find. It was only a matter of time before more people realized the connection between Jace and Anna, especially Victoria and Hadley. I unlocked the screen and read through the messages Victoria had left for me earlier.
VICTORIA
Hey, I hope you’re okay.
Jace is here, and he’s a mess. I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but he wants to make amends.
He asked for your number, but I told him I had to ask you first.
If you say no, that’s it. No questions asked. But I hope you know we’re here for you, no matter what.
“Fuck,” I hissed as I joined Chelsea on the couch. “Jace asked Victoria for my number.”
“What are you going to do?” Chelsea said as she handed me a wine glass.
I took a long sip, trying to weigh the options in my mind.
It would be easy enough to write him off, to say he’d already blown his shot at a relationship with his daughter.
But that came from a selfish part of me, the one who wanted to hurt Jace just like he’d hurt me.
It had taken a lot for me to open up to the man, and having him brush me off cut a lot deeper than I ever wanted to admit.
But there was more to think about than my feelings—there was Anna.
“I think I need to tell him,” I admitted. “As much as I want to keep him away, that’s not fair to Anna. If he wants to get to know her, shouldn’t I let him?”
“It depends,” Chelsea said. “Do you think Jace will want to have a relationship with Anna? Won’t that only hurt more if he decides not to be a part of her life?”
“Maybe.” I took another sip. “But in five, ten years, she’s going to ask about her dad. I can’t tell her I didn’t try. If I tell him about Anna, and then he walks away, it’s on him. I can live with the truth, but I don’t want to be the one who makes that choice.”
“Sounds smart,” Chelsea said. “But promise me something—be careful around Jace. He had a reputation at the bar, and not a very good one.”
Something deep rumbled up in my chest, and I narrowed my eyes at her. “Those people don’t know Jace.”
“Neither do you,” Chelsea whispered. “You always said he was a one-night stand. Practically a stranger.”
I dropped my head to the back of the couch, hating that she was right.
Did I know anything about Jace? We spent a few hours together, and he’d shown me a peek underneath his mask, a side Jace rarely portrayed in the media or on the baseball field.
Granted, his public persona disappeared once he went back down to the minors, but now that he’d come home, was he going to pick up the same bad habits—the drinking, the late nights, the girls?
A burn ripped through my chest as I pictured Jace with someone else, but I pushed it away.
I had no claim over him, no say in how he led his life.
There were probably dozens of women in his bed since we last saw each other, and there’d be many more in the future.
But my traitorous little heart broke at the image of his perfect woman, someone who didn’t find Cheerios in their pockets or who spent more time changing diapers than applying makeup.
“God, I hate this,” I mumbled. “Can’t we just rewind the clock back twenty-four hours and pretend we never saw him?”
Chelsea’s understanding smile was all the answer I needed. It was too late to put the genie back in the bottle. Grabbing my phone, I typed out a message, pressing send before I could convince myself otherwise.
ME
You can give him my number.