Chapter 33
THIRTY-THREE
The next morning, the early morning sun woke me, streaming through the pale blue curtains onto the pillows. I shifted to check the time, but an arm banded around my middle, tugging me into a hard chest. “Not yet,” Jace grumbled against my hair, pulling me even closer to him. “Little longer.”
I twisted in his arms, smiling as I took in his unkempt hair and closed eyes. Pressing a kiss to his neck, I held him close. “Would have thought you had enough of me last night.”
“No such thing.” Jace dragged his eyes open. When he spotted the rising sun, he frowned. “What time is it?”
“Not sure. Someone grabbed me before I found my phone.” When I squirmed, Jace released me and curled back onto his stomach to stretch his arms underneath the pillow. When I reached over to grab my phone, text messages from Chelsea with pictures of Anna attached filled the screen.
CHELSEA
All good with little miss! Hope you guys are having a blast.
Also, you owe me, because Mark is getting all kinds of ideas about kids now lol
Rolling my eyes, I placed the phone back on the nightstand.
I’d call a little later; for now, I wanted to enjoy the lazy morning with Jace.
But before I curled back into his side, his phone vibrated next to mine.
I grabbed it to hand to him right as it cut off, joining the dozens of missed calls.
Frowning, I nudged him with my elbow. “Hey, Jace? Someone is trying to get a hold of you.”
“Who?” He grimaced as he took the phone from my hand, skimming through the messages. Tossing the phone onto the other nightstand, he lay back down on the bed, but a new tension radiated from his body.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” he groaned. “It’s just my dad. He does this after every game. He wants to go over each play and dissect how I could have performed better.”
“What? You had a great game last night.”
“He doesn’t care,” Jace answered. “For him, there’s always room for improvement. Even if I had the best game in the league's history, the asshole would still find something to pick apart.”
I pulled the sheet over my bare chest as I turned to face Jace.
Gone was the bliss from earlier; instead, his features had shifted to granite.
Hardness filled his blue eyes, turning them almost molten gray.
Shifting, I straddled him, running my fingers through his messy hair. “Is he still your agent?”
“Fuck no,” Jace bit out, but as his hands found my hips, they were gentle.
Even with the anger coursing through him, he treated me with care.
“I fired him once I got sober. He was so pissed when I got treatment—wanted me to keep it a secret from the league. But I’d already told enough lies, and I knew if I kept hiding my addiction, I’d fall back into it.
He didn’t understand, so I fired him.” He scoffed.
“Thought it might give us a shot at a normal father-son relationship. I was pretty fucking wrong about that.”
“What happened?”
“Baseball was the only thing that connected us. At least before I joined the league, he always was on my side, trying to push me to be the best player possible. But now…” His blue eyes met mine, and my heart cracked at the vulnerability in them.
“It’s like he enjoys seeing me fail. Like if I can’t do this without him, then he wins.
And even though that should be enough to cut him off, I can’t seem to do it.
I’m the fucking idiot who keeps taking his calls. ”
“Hey,” I said, pressing my fingers into his chest. “You’re not an idiot for wanting a relationship with your dad.”
“Maybe not, but I am if I keep expecting him to change. He’s always been about baseball first, everything else second, including his family.
” His hands squeezed my hips. “I don’t want to be that guy, Kins.
I can’t do that to Anna, but I’m afraid.
..” His breath caught. “That obsession—that need to be the best? It’s in my blood. And if I hurt her that way—”
“You won’t,” I said, clinging to him. “Jace, you’re not your dad. You’ve turned your life upside down for us, and Anna’s going to grow up so loved by you.”
“And you?” he asked, his hands shaking against my skin. “Could you see yourself falling in love with me?”
I was already halfway there. In the past month, Jace had crawled under my skin, showing me what it would be like to let people in more, as if my bruised heart was waiting for him to come back and prove love was worth the risk.
But the more logical voice in the back of mind screamed that it was too soon, that we were still learning to navigate this new relationship.
“Yeah, I could.”
Jace leaned forward, pressing his lips to mine, as if he could read the words that refused to come out. “Good,” he sighed as he released me. “Because I want this to work, Kinsley. And if I turn out like him—”
“I’ll tell you,” I promised.
Two weeks after we returned from San Francisco, Jace and I had fallen into a steady routine.
His schedule was still hectic with his games, but every time he was in town, he spent the night in my bed.
We devoted our days to caring for Anna, but the moment she closed her eyes, we collided.
We explored each other every chance we got, learning our bodies in ways I never dreamed of.
Every day, the urge to tell him I loved him became more and more desperate.
It almost spilled out this morning when Jace got Anna ready for the day, attempting to tie her hair into small pigtails.
It’d taken him six tries, but by the time they left for the day, she had matching (if not uneven) small bundles on each side of her head.
As they headed out the door, his workout bag over his shoulder, our daughter up in his arms, he came over and kissed me softly.
“See you later, mama.”
God, I melted a little more each time he called me that. Those three words almost came flying out, but I held them back, though they haunted me for the rest of the day.
They played out in my head as I went into the office, repeating like an anthem as I prepped different briefs and motions. By the time I picked Anna up from school, they’d gone from a whisper to a shout.
Anna beamed up at me as I buckled her into her car seat. At least she seemed to be feeling a little better today. She’d been a nightmare for the last couple of nights because she had a new tooth growing in, but now, she was all smiles.
“You ready to go see Daddy?” I asked as I pressed a kiss to her forehead.
Her blue eyes widened as she gave me a toothy smile.
Jace had texted earlier, asking if we could go to his place tonight because he had to be at the field early tomorrow.
Worked for me. His place had two usable bedrooms, which meant we could be a little louder than normal.
The thin walls of my apartment made that almost impossible.
After I climbed into the driver’s seat and put on Anna’s favorite playlist, we drove through the city, taking the opposite path from home to the newer section of town.
I’d only been to Jace’s place a couple of times, mostly because I didn’t want to disrupt Anna’s routine too much, but also, I felt a little out of place here.
Everything was so shiny and new—a far cry from the familiar neighborhood I’d grown up in.
As we pulled up to the parking garage, I grabbed the swiper for the underground lot. God, I could get used to this. Street parking was a nightmare, especially when I had to drag Anna almost two blocks to get to our car. Assigned parking spaces were also a huge plus.
Anna was giggling by the time we got to Jace’s place, and I put her down to grab the keys out of my purse. As I leaned forward to push it into the lock, a voice on the other side made me frown. “Okay, just like that?”
Taking Anna’s hand, I shoved the door open, confusion contorting my face into a frown.
But when we stepped into the living room, all we found were members of the Hawks gathered around Jace, who had his hands in August’s long hair.
Half of it was tied up in one of the worst braids I’d ever seen as Cam and Damien stood over him with twin frowns on their faces.
“Hey…” I called out as I dropped my purse on the table, and Anna took wobbly steps over to the group. Damien got to her first, swooping her up and pressing a raspberry on her belly. “Do I even want to know what’s going on here?”
Cam spoke first. “Dad classes. Jace wanted to learn how to do a braid.”
“No,” Jace mumbled around the elastic clenched between his teeth. “Cam said I had to learn how to do a braid.”
“He’s right.” Grayson Anders, the team’s pitching coach, stepped out from behind the open fridge door, holding bottles of water.
“I’d do anything for my little girl, but trying to do Harper’s hair is a nightmare.
My wife makes it look too damn easy, and every time I try, she leaves the house a mess. ”
I smiled as he leaned in and kissed my cheek. “How are Devyn and the twins?”
“They’re good. Terrorizing the house, but what else is new?
” He chuckled as he pulled out his phone, showing me pictures of his two-year-old twins.
“Lucas has started climbing everything, and Harper thinks she’s the boss of us all.
I’m already plotting a vacation for just Devyn and me after the season so we can catch up on some sleep. ”
“And you love it, don’t you?” I asked, smiling as Jace met my eyes from the couch.
“Every damn second.”
“Okay, enough hogging my girl,” Jace called out, trying to twist the strands of August’s hair into a braid. His brow furrowed as his hands moved, and his teammate flinched. “Get over here and help me figure this out.”
“You might be hopeless,” August groaned. “Gonna have a bald spot by the time you’re done.”
As I settled on the couch, Damien babbled with Anna, talking to her about her day and acting as if her incoherent sounds made sense. But as soon as Jace leaned back, she only had eyes for him, taking a couple of uneven steps with her arms reached out.
“Get over here, little one,” he called out, holding his arms out to catch her. As he enveloped her in a hug, her voice broke through the din of the living room.
“Dada.”
We all froze, turning to stare at Jace. His eyes widened as he stared down at Anna, nothing but pure adoration filling his face. His voice cracked as he whispered, “Say it again.”
Her brow furrowed, but her voice was steady as she repeated, “Dada, Dada, Dada.”
Jace’s eyes filled as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “That’s right, baby. I’m your dada.” His gaze jumped to me, and the weight of the emotion in them brought tears to my own eyes. “Thank you,” he mouthed, holding our daughter in a tight embrace.
All I could do was nod, words failing me. Cam clapped Jace on the shoulder, smiling as wide as the rest of the room. “Told you, man. There’s nothing like being a dad.”