Chapter 42
FORTY-TWO
Hours later, we sat on Jace’s couch, unable to sleep after our conversation with his dad.
The TV droned on in the background, but neither of us paid it any mind, just sitting in silence as we played through the evening’s events.
Jace’s fingers stroked idly through my hair, but he only stared out the window.
When we first got home, he walked directly into Anna’s room and spent almost fifteen minutes staring at her asleep in her crib. Her stuffed hawk sat in the corner, but neither of us woke her, not when she snored softly with a slight smile on her lips.
Eventually, I took his hand and pulled him out of the room, settling us on the couch, where we remained. The longer we sat here, the more my mind raced with possibilities, unsure how to bridge the divide between us.
“I’m sorry,” I muttered.
Jace shifted to face me, the blankness now gone from his features. Instead, cold fury replaced it as he took my hand. His knuckles whitened as his hands turned to fists. “You have nothing, nothing, to apologize for Kinsley. If anything, I should apologize to you.”
“For what?”
“For bringing my dad into your life. He’s always been demanding, cold, but when I saw him standing over you…” Jace’s jaw tightened, and he stood, stalking the length of the living room. “He never should have gotten to you like that.”
“That wasn’t your fault,” I whispered.
“Of course it is,” he bit back. “He’s my father. My blood. And then he tried…” His words cut off with a dry scoff. “I thought it I just ignored him, he’d back off, but for him to know about you…about Anna?”
“Hey…” I jumped up, stepping into his path. His blue eyes flared as my hands pressed to his chest, feeling the thunderous pulse beneath his chest. “Don’t do this to yourself. To us. Your dad is the only one responsible for his actions. You can’t take on his failings.”
Jace shook his head, but his hand found mine, his thumb stroking the back of it with a soft reverence.
“How can you stand here with me? I left you alone, when you were pregnant. When Anna was only a baby. And now, my family threatened you, Kinsley. How can you even stand to be in the same room as me?”
A choked sob came from the back of his throat, and I tightened my grip, hoping the touch would anchor him to me. “You didn’t know, Jace. I didn’t find you. You can’t take all of that on. I love you, and I forgave you a long time ago.”
“That’s the thing,” Jace muttered, his words utterly devastated.
“You might have forgiven me, but I haven’t forgiven myself.
And then standing there, when my dad said those things, all I could think about was how easy it would be to lose you, to lose my family.
That I’m going to keep failing you both. ”
“We’re not going anywhere.” I reached out, bringing our heads down so our foreheads touched.
"Tate Lyons doesn’t know you, and he sure as hell knows nothing about our family.
He’s the failure. He might have more trophies or more clout, but when it comes down to what matters, he’s failed the person who matter most.” I pulled back and searched his tear lined eyes.
“You never have. Since the moment you came back into our lives, you’ve been there for both of us.
You showed me what it means to love someone unconditionally, to let go of the fear that always held me back.
And none of it would have been possible without you.
Because of the man you are. Not the baseball player, not the athlete, but the man beneath it all. "
His eyes continued to search mine, his hands gripping my hips as the words sealed us together.
There was nothing I wouldn’t do for this man, to help him see he was so much more than his father wanted him to be.
Tate Lyons might be a legend, but Jace was the triple threat in all the ways that mattered.
He was more than a ball player; he was an amazing father and a better partner than I could have ever dreamed up.
If I had to spend every day of the rest of my life reminding him of that fact, I’d happily do that.
“I love you,” Jace gruffly said, his hands shifting around me.
“And I love you, more than I can ever put into words.”
His lips claimed mine, his touch searing, an oath between us to let go of the past and to move forward as one unit.
I squeaked as his hands shifted to my ass, kneading my flesh as he dragged me closer to his hardening length.
“Fuck, Kins,” Jace groaned, between kisses on my neck and jaw. “I need you.”
“You have me,” I answered. “But if you need to show me how much, I’m all yours.”
His eyes glittered as he pulled back, “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing you say that.”
The next four days passed all too quickly.
Having Jace home was the best gift, and, selfishly, I was already counting down the days until the season ended.
Having him gone for most of the year would always be a challenge, but it was worth it to see the joy on Jace’s face when he walked out onto the field.
As much as he loved being home with us, Jace was looking forward to getting back to the game.
He’d needed the break to deal with his dad’s parting words, clear his head before the Hawks headed into the back half of the season.
The day after the confrontation, he’d briefly considered quitting baseball, wanting to sever the last tie between him and his father, but after we talked, he realized he might have started playing because of his dad, but he’d stayed for himself.
When he’d excitedly left for his first day back at practice, something nagged at me.
I couldn’t remember the last time I wanted to go to work.
For so long, being a lawyer had been my dream.
School had been hard, and studying for the LSAT still haunted my nightmares, but it was work I wanted to do.
Now, every day was just going through the motions, to the point that I couldn’t even remember what I had filed the previous day.
“Forget it,” I mumbled as I turned my attention back to the coffee table, where Jace had left samples of flooring for the downstairs bathroom.
The house was coming along, and now, we needed to make final calls so we could move in.
It was still surreal, the idea of living in such a beautiful home.
But like so many other things with Jace, it felt right.
It helped that we weren’t selling my mom’s condo. Chelsea had a bartender looking for a place, and she spoke highly of him, which was enough for me. With any luck, we’d be out by the end of the month, as long as the renovations stuck to the schedule.
God, how did people pick tiles? All the colors looked the same to me at this point.
We’d stared at shades of green for almost an hour last night, until we both broke down, snorting from the ridiculousness of it all.
Was that such a thing as brain fatigue from making too many decisions?
If so, we were in the middle of it. As I held the tiles up to the light, my eye snagged on something in the corner.
My LSAT books. I frowned as I put the tiles back down. The last I checked, they were still in my bedroom, tucked away on the bottom shelf. A piece of paper tucked out of the top cover, and curiosity got the best of me.
In case you decide you want to try again.
Jace
“Nosy bastard,” I chuckled, tucking the note back into the pages. But my thumb stilled enough for a question to peek out at me. It couldn’t hurt to try one question, maybe two, before I focused back on the tile.
I dragged myself back to the couch, skimming over the question.
“A”, I whispered, thumbing to the answer section to check if I was right.
Holy shit, I was. All that knowledge, the stuff I’d long buried, still somehow lurked in the back of my mind.
“Okay, don’t get ahead of yourself, Kins. It was only one question.”
So I read another, and then another. Sure, some I got wrong, but the majority, I was able to answer without a second thought.
When I first tried taking the test, I was so sure I was ready, but that was also around the time my mom told me about her illness.
My compartmentalization skills must not have been as good as I thought, because now, the questions seemed much more obvious.
Hours later, when Jace and Anna came home, I was still on the couch, reading through the third of my study guides. My head didn’t even pop up, not until Jace leaned down and kissed the top of my head. “Knew you couldn’t resist.”
“Yeah, yeah, you can say it, hotshot. You were right.”
“No sweeter words have ever been said,” he mused as he placed Anna on the floor, and she bolted for me.
Time was passing too quickly. It seemed like yesterday she was learning to crawl, and now, she was ready to run.
I scooped her up, snuggling her close to my chest until she squirmed to get down.
Jace dropped into the space next to me, pulling my legs into his lap and kneading my tense calf muscles. “So what are you thinking?”
“That I want to try again.” I chewed on my lower lip. “Even if nothing comes of it, I want to prove to myself I can do it.”
“You will.” Jace leaned in to kiss me. “You’re too talented to push papers all day, Kins.”
“Maybe.” I smirked before I hopped up from the couch and grabbed my work bag, riffling through the paperwork. “But my job has some benefits. For example, gives me time to look into stuff that might interest you.”
“Oh?”
My fingers tightened on the envelope, and I took a deep breath. “This wasn’t how I wanted to do this. I was trying to think of how I could make it a big deal. Take you to dinner or somewhere else to talk. But,” I stepped around the couch and handed it over to him. “I didn’t want to wait.”
“What is this?” Jace asked as he opened it, scanning over the words. His brow furrowed. “Acknowledgement of Parentage?”
I nodded. “It’s just the first step. When Anna was born, I didn’t add you to the birth certificate, you know, without your knowledge.
So I’ve been looking into it, and this is the first step.
And I get it, if you—” The sound of Jace grabbing my pen and signing the paper cut me off. “Or you can just sign it.”
He grabbed my hand and pulled me onto his lap. “Easiest signature ever. So, what do we do next?”
“We submit this to the Department of Health so they can amend it. But there’s more, Jace.” I exhaled, my fingers clinging to his shoulders. “I’d like to change Anna’s name to Lyons.”
Jace’s eyes flashed to me. “Y-you would?”
“Yeah.” I swallowed. “We’re a family, Jace, and I’d like it if we could all belong to each other. As long as you’re okay with it?”
“Okay with it?” He slammed his lips to mine, all his devotion and adoration pouring into his embrace. “It’s the best gift I’ve ever gotten.”
“Are you sure?”
“Never been more sure of anything, mama.”
I kissed him again, this time slower, a little deeper. A familiar stirring happened in my core, at least until Anna chucked her doll at us. “No, dada. No, mama. Pay.”
We laughed as we broke apart, turning to take in our daughter’s adorable pout. I turned toward Jace, running my fingers through his wavy blond hair. “I love you.”
“Love you more, Kins. Thank you for taking a chance on me.”
“Best decision I’ve ever made.”