Chapter 13
Tori
I’m distracted during my whole shift at work, making stupid mistakes.
I’m glad the guys have been out all day.
It seems they want to avoid me, too, since I spotted them pulling in earlier and heading straight upstairs instead of coming into the bar as usual.
I can’t stop thinking about the recent encounters I’ve had with the guys, my incredible sex with Hunter, and my surprising kiss with Cyrus.
The kiss confirmed what I already knew. I want Cyrus just as much as I want Hunter.
If he hadn’t made it clear he expects me to choose, I might have lost myself in the moment and had sex with him right there in the corridor.
And if I’m being honest, despite his brooding and infuriating stubbornness, I want Flint, too.
The situation between the four of us feels impossible, and it’s becoming more complicated every day.
Cyrus and Hunter have made their feelings clear, and it might be egotistical of me, but I think Flint wants me too.
Even though he said he won’t think of me that way anymore, I think that is only because he believes I’ve chosen Hunter.
But what if I don’t want to choose? What if I want all three of them?
Is that so wrong? I’m not Bella, and they didn’t have issues with other women before her, so why can’t we try?
“You okay, hon? You seem distracted today,” Shelly asks me, pulling me from my reverie.
“Yes, fine, sorry.”
Shelly cocks her brow. “You’ve been washing the same glass for the past five minutes. Something tells me you’re not. Let me guess, it’s to do with the guys?” she guesses.
“That obvious, huh?” I reply with a depreciative smile, looking down and realizing she’s right, the gleaming glass sparkling in my hand, soap suds halfway up my arm. It reminds me of my sex with Hunter earlier, and I blush.
Shelly chuckles. “Yep. Those boys are fighting over you like a dog with a bone.”
I grimace. “I don’t want them to, though.
I don’t want to get in the middle of three best friends.
I know what Bella did, but it makes me mad that they think I’m like her.
I just wish they’d realize that maybe the problem was Bella and quit being so pigheaded.
” The words come out in a rush, and I regret them, wondering if I sound like a self-absorbed brat.
Shelly doesn’t judge me, instead she looks at me sympathetically. “So tell them how you feel. Honesty is the best policy, that’s what I always say. All you can do is tell the truth, the rest will fall into place,” she says wisely.
“You know what? You’re right. We can’t keep going like this; it's better to have it out one way or another now before things get any worse. Mind if I leave early? If I don’t go upstairs and confront them now, I’m worried I’m gonna chicken out.”
Shelly smiles knowingly at me. “Of course, it’s quiet, we’ll be fine without you. Go get ‘em, girl,” she adds with a wink.
“Thanks, Shel, you’re the best,” I reply, removing my apron and rushing out before I can get caught by any customers.
“Give ‘em hell,” Shelly calls after me, amusement in her voice.
I’m not surprised to find that the guys have hidden themselves away in their rooms. Since their falling out, they’ve been avoiding each other, and they haven’t been hanging out in the living room like they used to unless I’m there.
I bang on all of their doors as I walk down the corridor. “House meeting in five!”
I stand waiting in the living room, time creeping past slowly.
Cyrus comes in first, looking achingly handsome as he pulls on a t-shirt on the way in, revealing his toned stomach and the V that points down into his sweats. “Is everything okay?” he asks, his voice full of concern.
I realize, with a guilty pang, that they probably assume this is to do with the ongoing war between the Raging Bulls and Ghost Riders. “Yes, sorry. Nothing bad has happened. I just need to talk to the three of you.”
He nods, furrowing his brow, but doesn’t push it.
Flint walks in next. He’s clearly just rushed out of the shower, his dark hair glistening with droplets of water as it’s still wet.
His shirt has a damp patch where he dressed in a rush, without towel-drying off completely.
“Is something wrong? Is it your father?”
Shit, this isn’t how I wanted things to start. “No, everything is fine. I’m sorry if I worried you."
Hunter saunters in as I’m talking, a lazy, unconcerned grin on his face. I’m guessing he thinks he knows what this is all about. He thinks I’m going to tell the others that I’ve chosen him. I feel terrible. But I can’t back out now. I have to be honest, or it will eat me up inside.
“I just needed to talk to the three of you,” I finish.
“Please, sit,” I say, gesturing to the couch.
The men do as instructed, Hunter sitting as far away from the others as possible.
I scowl at him. “This is exactly what I wanted to talk to you guys about. I’m tired of you guys fighting and treating me like a prize to win.
I’m not Bella, and I’m done with you guys dictating what’s best or deciding what I want without even asking me.
You’re treating me like I’m her, and I’m not, I’m nothing like her. ”
“Tori, we never said you were like her…” Cyrus interjects softly.
I hold up my hand to silence him. “Please, just let me speak.” He nods, and I continue.
“I know you haven’t said it. But you don’t need to.
You said that she manipulated you all and made you jealous, yet since Hunter and I hooked up, you’ve all been acting like possessive, jealous idiots, even though I’ve done nothing to make you act that way.
So, I’m going to repeat this. I am not Bella. ”
“We know you’re not. And you’re mine, the guys know that, it’s okay,” Hunter interjects.
I glower at him, and he falls quiet. “Yes, Hunter, I am yours, I want to be yours.” He grins triumphantly. I look away from him, making eye contact with the others. “But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want Cyrus and Flint, too.”
I watch as surprise and hurt flicker in Hunter's eyes, and the others look pleased yet worried and confused.
“Look, the last thing I want is to ruin your friendship. But I don’t think I will. Not if you stop acting as you have been. I promise I won’t play you off of each other, I won’t be anything like Bella. But I can’t lie and pretend that I don’t want all three of you. I don’t want to have to choose.”
“I thought you had,” Hunter says softly.
I feel like shit for hurting him, but I have to be honest, there’s no turning back now. I go over and take his hand, looking up into his eyes. “I did, but can’t I choose them too?” I ask gently, pleading silently with my eyes.
“You don’t understand what you’re asking,” Flint says tersely through gritted teeth.
“I do. But I also know we can’t continue this way. None of you wants me to choose the others, and I know you all want me, too. So all I’m asking is why can’t we try to make it work between all of us so that no one gets rejected?” I implore.
“But…” Cyrus.
“I know what happened before, you’ve reminded me many times,” I snap.
“But I want to remind you once again that I’m not fucking Bella.
It’s up to you what happens. I just wanted to be honest with you.
I want all three of you, but I won’t be your excuse to fall apart.
You’re grown men; if you don’t think you can handle it, that’s fine.
But quit telling me the reason why we can’t be together is because of her and admit that you’re scared. ”
I straighten my spine, not wanting to show how terrified I feel as I bare my soul to them.
My heart is hammering in my chest, and I feel like my legs might give out from under me.
I’ve never put myself out like this before.
I’m terrified they’ll reject me, but I also know this is the right thing to do.
I’m not going to beg them or allow their petty jealousy to get in the way of something that could be amazing. I need to prove to them that I am a strong adult who can handle this. If we can’t be honest now, it will never work.
There’s a long silence as the guys take in my proposal. Hunter is the one who finally breaks it.
As is often the case, he surprises me. “Damn, that was sexy,” he says with a low whistle. “I’m in, I know I’m man enough to handle sharing you. You think you can handle it?” he asks, challenging his friends.
“Of course,” Flint growls, ever the competitive one. “But there has to be no jealousy, from any of us. No games.” He looks between us, gray eyes serious and stern.
I nod. “Agreed.”
Hunter holds up his hands. “Only sex games allowed,” he says mischievously, lightening the mood.
We turn to Cyrus, and my heart thuds in my chest, the anticipation almost unbearable. “We have to swear to be completely honest with each other, always.”
We all agree to his stipulation. It’s the only way this will work.
Hunter includes his own caveat. “You belong to all of us, equally.”
I raise my eyebrow at him. “I’m not your possession. I’m your equal. I belong to you, but you belong to me.”
Flint’s brow twitches in surprise. He can be an old-fashioned guy, but he agrees. “Equals, and if things go well, you’ll be our old lady.”
It feels more serious, more final. Is that really what I want?
I ask myself. I grew up in a motorcycle club, and I hated it.
I hate the Raging Bulls and everything they stand for.
But I remind myself the Ghost Riders are nothing like my father’s club.
They’ve welcomed me with open arms, and I feel like I belong here.
“I’d be honored,” I reply, meaning every word.
The guys beam at me. It was the correct answer.
“I have one more caveat,” Cyrus says cautiously and reasonably.
“I think we should take our time before rushing into anything physical. Not that I don’t want to,” he rushes to add.
“But you’re new to this, and once that happens, there’s no going back.
So, we go slow, you can hook up with any of us individually if the moment feels right, and only when you’re ready do we take things to the next step with all of us. ”
I’m blown away by his sensitivity and thoughtfulness. As much as I want them, I have to admit I was a bit intimidated by the thought of having to jump into sleeping with all of them at once.
I smile at him gratefully. “That sounds like a great plan.”
With a plan agreed and the pressure taken off, it’s like a valve has been released, and all of the tension that had been building up suddenly dissipates.
Soon, we’re talking amicably, choosing a movie to watch, and discussing what takeout to order for dinner.
It feels easy and natural, a glimpse into what our relationship could be.