69. Loveleena
LOVELEENA
Loveleena wrapped some cheese, crackers and hummus in a cloth, tucked it into her bag, and snuck it back to her dorm. Even though a full day had passed, Park’s bloody, ravaged body was seared in her mind, and it had taken everything in her not to fall apart.
Kumani was scheduled for evening rounds, and she thanked the Moon Goddess that she could be alone in her dorm for a while.
Slamming the door behind her, she lit a candle and set it down on her night table then reached into her satchel and pulled out her food with shaky hands, letting out a heavy sigh.
“Sneaking food into your dorm I see,” Ren said, sitting casually on her bed.
“For fucks sake, Ren.” She jumped, heart pounding. “What are you doing in here?”
“You broke into my apartment. I’m just returning the favor.” He stood, towering over her. She threw her bookbag on her bed, careless of its contents, and indifferent to anything Ren had to say to her.
“And I wanted to check on you.”
“Why?” she muttered, testy.
He cleared his throat. “I know what you faced yesterday wasn’t easy.”
“You don’t need to pretend to care.”
Ren squared his shoulders. “About Park.”
Loveleena winced at the name.
“You’re going to need to be a better Defender than you are now to get him back. A better warrior. And you’re going to need to take your magic farther than what they teach you in Charming.”
“Do you ever get tired of your personality? Because I do.” She was so so tired of his games.
Ren stared at her, unflinching.
“You’ve known this whole time what happened to him. You’ve known about the Velorias—my family history. You’ve known about everything. Still, you refuse to tell me. And for what? To hold some kind of power over me? To boost your ego?” She scoffed. “I don’t want anything you have to offer me.”
“Because…” He stepped toward her, his voice cold. “If I tell you before you are ready, you’ll do something stupid, like you always do.”
“You’re so sure about that, aren’t you? You couldn’t possibly be wrong about me?” Her blood boiled.
“Haven’t been so far. So yeah.”
“You don’t even know me.”
“I know that you’re impulsive. You don’t think things through. And I know you’re so afraid to feel any emotion other than anger that you do anything, everything, to avoid it.”
“I’m tired of you.” What could she even say? At that moment, she hated him.
“The feeling is mutual.” He cut back at her. “If you recall, you recently tried to poison me.”
“I did it so that you would tell me the truth!” she screamed. “Would it kill you to be honest!?” She didn’t care if the whole campus heard.
“No, but it could end the lives of others. If you thought of anyone other than yourself for five seconds you would see that.” Ren seethed.
“You can leave. I’m done here.”
“I’m not leaving until you agree to meet me tomorrow. To train.”
“Why would I train with you?” Months ago, she would have killed to be able to train with Ren. Now it felt like the last place she wanted to be. She was doing well in her classes and had earned the right to study Charming. She didn’t need him.
“Train with me, and I’ll tell you everything I know about Park.”
She hesitated, wondering if there was another way.
But her investigation had proven unfruitful, and Ren was the one person who knew what happened to Park.
They had worked together to free traitors, and that was all she knew.
Park was probably sitting in a jail cell somewhere being punished for his crime. The thought alone made her feel sick.
They both knew she couldn’t say no—and that alone made her resent Ren. He had something she desperately wanted, and he made sure she didn’t forget it. She wanted to throttle him. But instead of arguing, she conceded with a quick nod. “Fine.”
“Sunrise tomorrow. Meet me at the Bloodring.”
“Does it really have to be that early? I need my beauty sleep,” she grumbled.
“You should be used to it with all the morning rounds we have to do.”
“I don’t do morning rounds.”
Ren crossed his arms, head tilting to the side. “Who was your victim?”
Loveleena shrugged, her voice tight. “Paid off that short blonde boy who looks like he’ll explode if he sits still for more than four seconds.”
“How lazy of you.”
“Not lazy. Strategic.”
“Sunset then.” He turned to leave.
“Why now?” she choked out. Curiosity got the best of her. “Why are you suddenly so invested in training me when you wanted nothing to do with me all year?”
“I didn’t know who you were all year.”
“A Veloria.”
He nodded. “And because I know what it’s like to lose someone.
To constantly fight to get them back.” The light was dim, but even still, she could see the flash of vulnerability on his face.
“I was reminded of that yesterday. I know facing the Tigress was difficult. It had to be. I’m sorry for that. ”
It had to be!?
“You knew the Tigress would show Park like that. You knew what it would do to me. For someone who knows what it feels like you sure aimed right for the heart.”
“It wasn’t my choice. The faculty did it to prepare you. To help you.”
Her words caught in her throat as it swelled, tension growing behind her eyes. “Get out.”
After Ren left, she turned toward her bed and found the food had slipped from her bag into a heap on the floor. She didn’t have it in her to clean it up.