Chapter 5 #2
“Blue, give the guy some space.” Carlos lifts his chin toward the house. “Bet your wheels cost more than my annual salary.”
“After stopping in Williston, I’m feeling a bit inferior about not having a truck.”
Williston may be the biggest town in the northwest corner of the state, and the nearest sizable town to Scandal, but it’s all country.
Pickups fill its streets, and they aren’t there just for show.
Every other pickup is a white work truck loaded with tools and equipment that cost more than the vehicle itself.
A mix of oil country and cattle country makes pickups a necessity rather than a status symbol.
I don’t need a truck in Denver, but a car feels too stifling after years of driving with the windows wide open, bumping through pastures.
Carlos laughs and waves for me to follow him. The smell of dust and straw surrounds me. Through the barn on the opposite end, the door is open, but the gate is closed. A few young black calves wander by the opening. Bottle calves, abandoned by their mom for whatever reason.
Carlos leads me to the small office in the front corner.
I ignore how goddamn right everything feels and follow him.
The inside is covered with dust, but that doesn’t mean anything.
He might’ve wiped all the surfaces down last week and it could have built up that quickly in the country.
Piles of papers line the desk. In the middle is a newer laptop than the one Dad uses—used. I grit my teeth.
The dog goes straight to a pad under the desk and lies down. Carlos sits and uses a booted foot to angle an old office chair toward me.
I drop to sit, not worrying about dirtying my pants. “How are Esme and the kids?”
He beams. “She’s doing some part-time work for the grocery store a couple of times a week. Like me, she’s gotta keep busy. The kids are as good as ever, making my chest burst with pride.” He crosses his arms. “How are you?”
“As well as can be.”
He nods at my nonanswer. “Yeah.” Stark grief passes through his dark eyes. It’s difficult to see, so I look away. “If there’s any silver lining to this tragedy, it’s that the funeral will bring you boys home.”
Temporarily.
“I don’t know about Landry.”
Disappointment fills his face. “He’s an angry young man.”
I snort. “He’s forty.”
“Is he the financial advisor, or is that you?”
“Me.”
Bowen’s forty-one and runs his own IT company. Landry started a marketing firm after years of modeling. I’m the eldest at forty-two. Three boys, back-to-back-to-back. Mama used to joke she started the brewery to get away from us all.
The chair’s hinges squeak in the silence as I rock back and forth. “I went to Jules Creek first.”
“Been a while.”
“Yep.” Squeak. Squeak. Now I’m here, it feels like just yesterday that I left.
“You must’ve seen Meredith,” Carlos says, his gaze unwavering. “That girl works all the time.”
“So I’ve heard.” I’m not flippant. Not to Carlos.
“She was important to him.”
I stop rocking, but I don’t say anything.
“I heard you’re planning Ram’s funeral separately,” he prods.
My molars take another beating. I didn’t think I needed to justify my decision—until now. “I owe Holly Winslow nothing.”
He exhales sharply. “No, I don’t suppose you do.
” He pushes his ball cap up and scratches his forehead.
“He loved her, though. I didn’t agree with it.
It took me a long time not to see what they did to you kids when I saw them together.
” The muscles at the corners of his jaw tense.
“Your Mama Jules was like a sister to me. Holly never was. We were friendly, but never friends. Still, he loved her, and I think… he was afraid of being alone. The three of you were off to college, and he would’ve been by himself, not knowing if any of you would return. ”
“I had no plans to move.” I don’t mean to be curt, but the words come out hard. “Not me. Not Landry.” I shrug. “Maybe Bowen.”
“He and Ram were like oil and water.” Carlos sucks his teeth against his lips.
“Odd, since Bowen was so much like Jules, but regardless, he didn’t know if one or none of you were coming home from college.
Like it or not, Holly was there for him.
This accident is just a goddamn tragedy. Especially for Meredith.”
I’m not softened by his words. My dad could’ve talked to us. He could’ve said how he was feeling. Instead, he yelled and berated us for having feelings and opinions. Now I’m expected to have them for a woman who could be a gold digger like her sister, for all I know.
“I don’t owe Meredith anything either.”
“Like it or not, she’s a part of all this. Without her, Jules Creek wouldn’t run. Without her and Sawyer, this ranch wouldn’t run.”
My irritation creeps higher. This isn’t the homecoming I want with Carlos. “None of it would’ve been a worry if it weren’t for Holly.”
“Yeah.” He crosses one leg over the other.
“I’ve thought about that too. Holly loved your mom, but I think after being left by her own parents, and then raising Meredith, she wanted what Jules had too.
That sense of security. But none of that is Meredith’s fault.
It wasn’t her choice. She was just dragged into it all with nowhere else to go. ”
I sit forward, propping my elbows on my knees.
I’ve been through this argument several times—with my dad, with Carlos, with myself.
“Meredith had a choice when she graduated high school. She could have walked away, made her own path, and condemned Holly’s choices.
She didn’t. She siphons from everything my mama helped build, and she’s been doing it for years. And Dad allowed it.”
I’m not going to be swayed by a pretty face and a hint of sunny underwear.
Carlos adjusts his hat again. “I get you’re mad, kid.
Who wouldn’t be? But the truth is, Ram needed her.
She helped with chores and working cattle.
She helped clean the brewery. By the time she turned twenty-one, Ram couldn’t find a brewer who could tolerate his moods.
When she moved to Williston for a few years, we were back to worrying until she returned.
” He gestures toward the small office window. “And Sawyer’s invaluable.”
“It’s the least she can do for all Ransom’s paid her. Anyway, I just want to get through the funeral. Then I’ll settle the brewery.”
He sucks in a breath. “You might not be the only one making the decision.”
Dread settles deep in my bones. There’s a warning in his words. “What did Dad do?”
His expression turns cagey. “Ram didn’t talk about that stuff.”
“But he discussed some things?”
He only shrugs. “Gotta wait for the lawyers to tell you how it is.”
“Since when do they do that?” I won’t know a thing until after the funeral. I wasn’t worried before, but I am now, thanks to Carlos’s cryptic comment and Meredith’s ominous statement earlier.
He barks out a laugh. “Your cynicism is all Ram.” His features waver, and his eyes mist over. “I’m gonna miss that loud bastard.”
“Yeah.”
“Just do me a favor? Take it easy on Meredith. This is a hard time for her, and she doesn’t need three boys who don’t know her, don’t want to know her, and don’t care about her, to railroad over her grief.”
His words hammer against the walls I’ve built around anything Winslow. My guards hold firm, but there’s a weakness there that wasn’t before. Only because of my loyalty to Carlos, of course.
“I’ll think about it.”