Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
L izzie clinked her bottle against his and drained it to officially declare a truce with Renic. There wasn't enough beer left to make her feel any better about the current situation. She signaled the waitress to bring another round. She needed two or three to deal with Renic, her errant fantasies about him, and everything else.
While they’d been driving around, she’d received a deluge of texts. The cake couldn’t be delivered because the bakery driver had mono. The beef for the buffet was running late and might not show up until tomorrow. The DJ had shown up early to approve the space and then refused to honor his contract until everything in the ballroom was rearranged to his liking, which would conflict with what the bride had asked for and would also expose the ruined section of wall Lizzie had carefully hidden, which she absolutely refused to do. The stress of all the things that needed to be done for the upcoming wedding increased with every ding of her phone.
She should be at the inn handling all of the last-minute chaos and welcoming the incoming wedding party, not leaving Carrie to do it so she could be out here with Renic eating lunch, but she had only herself to blame. She’d lured him out here under false pretenses. Now she had to deal with the consequences.
The waitress arrived with their order just as the young man on stage sat down at the piano and spoke to the audience.
“Hey. I’m Jacob Evans. Hope you’re all having a great hump day.” His smile lit up the room.
The audience made appreciative noises, and one woman called out, “I am now.”
Jacob’s smile turned a little shy, and he dipped his head in acknowledgment. “Good to see you too. How about a little Billy Joel to start out?”
The audience, predominantly women, hooted their approval.
Jacob began to play, his fingers tripping lightly over the keys as he launched into “Piano Man,” with a few changes. “It’s two o’clock on a Wednesday…”
Jacob’s voice was clear and solid, a low tenor she thought would probably have the range to hit the really high notes if he wanted. He couldn’t have picked a better song for his voice. He wasn’t a duplicate of Billy Joel, but he was in that ballpark. His voice was perfectly suited for ballads and love songs, or maybe even dance tunes. More than that, his grin and energy were infectious, and Lizzie found herself swaying along to the music with the rest of the crowd.
She glanced surreptitiously at Renic. He’d changed since the last time she saw him. His hair was a little less rock, a little more business. His face was distinguished instead of boyish, and his body had filled out in all the right places.
He turned the bottle around and around with one hand while he watched Jacob, his head slightly tilted as he listened to something nobody else could hear.
She’d seen that look before, every time he’d shown up to scout new talent at a show or venue where her sisters performed. That expression on his face meant he was picturing the artist as they might be in five or ten years. If he licked his lips and pulled out his business card, it meant the future he pictured was filled with platinum records, if the artist had the ambition. If he insisted on a meeting immediately, it meant he thought that person was the next shooting star that he wanted to capture before it escaped.
Renic noticed her looking at him and winked.
It was the tiny, intimate nod to a shared secret that made her instantly picture him in the Rose Room, naked. Heat crept up the back of her neck and across her face. She glanced away and hoped like hell he hadn't noticed.
Renic leaned closer to her so she could hear him over the music. “He’s good.”
She glanced at the young man. The way he played to the crowd, using the piano as a platform for flirting, was more than good. “That’s an understatement.”
“A bit unrefined, but with the right coaching, some image work, and a great label, he could go places. He’s got sparkle.”
Lizzie nodded her chin toward the women at the next table. They were singing along with Jacob, loud and boisterous, and one was fanning herself. “He’s hot enough for the ladies, that’s for sure. And maybe the men too.”
Renic grinned. “Piano’s a nice touch. Lately it’s been all guitars, but there’s something about a man playing the piano that makes for an easy sell.”
“It’s the fingers.” Lizzie let a wicked little smile play across her lips.
Renic stared at her, confused .
She laughed. “Think about it.”
She wiggled her fingers in the air like she was playing the piano, then dropped her hands on his arm to play it like an imaginary instrument. She felt the heat of him even through the long sleeves of his shirt, and a delicious shiver ran up her spine. She lingered over the “notes” a little longer before moving her hands away.
Renic looked at her with a smoldering intensity that made her stomach flip.
She shouldn’t have touched him. The fantasies she’d been trying to suppress came surging back. She wanted to lose herself in that gaze, and his arms.
She gave herself a little shake. What the hell was she thinking? She hated Jackson Renic and everything he stood for.
She’d thought those words to herself multiple times over the years. She’d said them out loud on more than one occasion, laced with all the venom of a pit viper. But right now, in this moment, they rang a little hollow in her mind and heart, and the anger that used to come so easily refused to fuel the flame.
He wasn't a jerk. He was the kind of man who looked after his people, even if that meant a last-minute trip to the middle of nowhere to face off against a woman whose last words had been spiteful and cruel.
Renic patiently waited as if he knew she wrestled with inner turmoil. His gaze lingered on her lips, and she almost leaned forward.
She opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the end of the song and the cheers of the audience.
Lizzie ripped her gaze away from Renic’s and clapped along with everyone else. After a few seconds, he did the same .
They ate while Jacob entertained the crowd with covers of Elton John, The Eagles, and Taylor Swift. The last one caught them by surprise, and they both forgot to eat as they were swept along with the crowd by Jacob’s take on “I Knew You Were Trouble.”
A crooked grin spread across Renic’s face, and her heart tripped over the memory of another time when he'd taken her to dinner after one of her sisters’ shows to a place he’d wanted to scout talent.
It was an intimate jazz-type club, with low lights, dark wood paneling, and a raised platform barely wide enough for two people to stand on for a stage. Tables had been pushed back to allow space for dancing, but most people were more interested in the food.
Renic had listened while she’d told him about her husband's latest movie venture, which was going to be as unsuccessful as the one before. He’d laughed when she’d told him about Della's latest antics. He’d commiserated when she’d shared how a last-minute cancelation had meant they’d had to fly coast-to-coast twice in five days.
She hadn't spoken to her husband in almost two weeks at that point, and even then he'd been distant and too preoccupied to talk for more than a couple of minutes. When they were first married, he’d acted like she was his world, but not anymore. An emotional gulf had opened in the center of their marriage, and she'd had no idea how to get to the other side, and, worse, she hadn’t been sure she wanted to.
She had been exhausted by the tour, the unease at home, and her life, in general.
Then the music had started, and Renic had smiled that crooked little smile, held out his hand, and said, "Let's dance.”
Not long after that, her father died, and the bottom dropped out of her world. But she remembered the way Renic had looked at her that night, and the way her heart had lifted, and how safe she’d felt in his arms as he’d guided her around the dance floor.
Renic glanced sideways at her. “This kid’s got real potential.”
His hand accidentally brushed hers, sending a jolt of electricity up her arm.
She dragged her thoughts back to the present and nodded her agreement.
She’d been in trouble the second Jackson Renic walked back into her life.
Lizzie returned her attention to the kid on the stage and tried her best to ignore how hyperaware she was of Renic’s every move.
When the kid finished his last song, Renic jumped up to talk with him, card in hand. She watched the animated way he engaged the young artist and smiled, remembering times when he’d talked with her like that about her sisters or other acts along the way.
Jacob’s life was changing right in front of her, and he didn’t even know it yet.
Renic made her feel like that too, even though there was no future with him. They were only together right now because they had a deal to help Della. Then Renic would go back to the city and his life, and she’d continue with hers. They’d never have to see each other again.
Why did that thought make her so sad?
She ordered another beer and watched Renic work.
The sun had set by the time they left the Still & Grill. Lizzie blinked at the darkness she hadn’t expected.
A little rush of panic flared, and she pulled out her phone to check the time. It was dead. “What time is it?”
Renic checked his phone. “Six forty-five.”
The lost hours and the mountain of things she had to do pounded at her, making her heart race. “We were in there for five hours?”
“Almost six,” Renic said. “The tire was fixed around four, but Jacob’s set wasn't finished, and we couldn't leave until we talked to him. No way I want to leave him languishing out here in the boonies.”
“You must be losing your touch. It took you almost two hours to get him on the hook.”
“Nah, it took me ten minutes to hook him. You saw that look in his eyes. The rest was just so Morgan could work up the contract. I’m not the only one out here looking, and I've learned not to leave if I think there's something there.” He stepped toward the SUV, jiggling the keys as if he didn’t have a wedding or anything else to worry about.
Her plan to keep him away from Della had simultaneously worked and backfired. She’d been an idiot. When the tire blew, she should have called a car, begged a ride back, or had Mark come pick them up. Instead, she’d ignored every responsibility she had to listen to music and help Renic sign a young new talent.
Seeing him work with Jacob had brought back a lot of old feelings she’d thought long forgotten. She’d watched him with other young artists when he hadn’t known she was there. He was compassionate and caring, enthusiastic and nurturing. She’d enjoyed being around him at times like that because he was so very different from her husband.
Her ex had already been cheating on her, she’d later found out, which was probably why their relationship had felt so distant and uninvolved. He’d barely noticed she was there by the end of it. Renic, on the other hand, always seemed so present and focused. He had a way of making her feel like she was the only person in the room.
When her marriage was falling apart, she’d wondered what life with Renic would be like. What would his arms feel like as they pulled her close for a kiss? Guilt had forced those thoughts away, back then. She was married. She had obligations. She had no right to long for something more. So she’d never acted on the impulses. Then her sisters’ pain had driven all those thoughts away and replaced them with anger and betrayal.
Until now.
She followed Renic, feeling like a delinquent for ignoring her responsibilities all day, conflicted because she was still high from the fun afternoon, and more than a little turned on watching Renic’s ass as he walked. She kept picturing him naked, then reminding herself she shouldn’t be thinking things like that. She had work to do.
Renic walked with her to the passenger side of the SUV and clicked the door lock, but when he reached for the door, he glanced back at her. “What? You forget something? You look like you’re being chased.”
She couldn’t help but laugh. “I just realized how royally screwed I am. My phone is dead, so everyone’s probably freaking out about where I’ve been. I have so much that still needs to be done that I won’t be able to sleep until after the wedding. I don’t know what I was thinking, running around all day like this.”
He stepped a little closer. The smile on his face was warm and inviting. “You weren’t thinking about everyone else, for a change. You were enjoying yourself. It’s allowed. ”
“Not when there’s a wedding coming up.” Guilt tap danced on her stomach. “The bride is depending on me. It’s the biggest day of their lives and if I’m not ready, I’ll let them down.”
Renic put his hands on her arms and squeezed. “Hey. It’s going to be okay. The wedding’s not until Saturday, right?”
“Yes, but the bride and groom and their parents arrived this afternoon.” The warmth of his hands soothed a little of the panic, but only a little. “There’s a lot of decorating and rearranging to get done, which can’t happen until everything is cleaned and polished. All of the rooms have to be spotless and ready for the rest of the guests that arrive on Friday. The rehearsal dinner’s Friday night. Today was the last chance to spruce everything up. To make it perfect.”
“You have a team helping you. I’ve seen them. They’re a well-oiled machine. How could they not be, working with you?” Renic said. “They’ll get it done. Trust them to have your back and they won’t just surprise you, they’ll lift you higher than you could ever get by yourself. I speak from experience on this. My team is the reason I can be where I’m needed right now.”
She wrinkled her nose. “Yeah, but your team has been with you a long time, and mine includes a twenty-year-old college kid and Mark, who has a winery to run. He’s only pitching in this week because he had a break before he starts the next phase of winemaking. We should get back.”
She tried to reach around him to open the car door, but his grip on her arms tightened.
“When was the last time you took a minute for yourself?”
She thought about it. She couldn’t remember the last time, if there ever had been a time at all. Her life revolved around her sisters, then her husband, and now the inn. “It doesn’t matter. ”
His smile faded, and a serious frown replaced it. “Yes, it does. Come on, Lizzie. We’ve just listened to some amazing music from a kid so raw he has no idea how talented he really is. We had great food and excellent beer. It’s a few hours, not the end of the world. We can get it all done.”
“We?” She should pull away from him, but she felt glued to the spot by his hands and his gaze. “There’s no ‘we,’ here. There’s just me, and a lot of work, and no time to do it. Can we get going? Please.”
“Hang on a second.” He looked concerned and more than a little annoyed. He let go of her arms. “Don’t you ever spend a few hours doing something you want to do, not because someone else wanted you to do it?”
She closed her eyes so she didn't have to meet his gaze. “People depend on me, and I like making them happy.”
He pressed forward. “That didn’t answer my question. Name the last thing you did, besides lunch with me today, that wasn’t driven by an event or someone else’s needs and wants.”
She sagged against the SUV’s back passenger door, trapped by his warmth and attention. “Today wasn’t about me. It was about Della.”
He gave her a look that said quite plainly that he didn’t believe her. “You enjoyed the past few hours. Don’t bother denying it. You enjoyed it so much you lost track of time. When was the last time you did that?”
She huffed out an impatient breath. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is I have responsibilities. I need to get back.”
He put one hand next to her shoulder and leaned in until his breath tickled her cheek. “You’ve lived your whole life in the shadows, haven’t you, Lizzie. You make everyone else’s happiness possible. But who’s looking after your happiness?”
She looked away .
She knew the answer to his questions, and the lonely truth stung and threatened to launch tears that she refused to let anyone see. “I don’t need looking after. I do just fine on my own.”
“Is that all you want, Lizzie? Fine?”
She couldn’t think straight with him so close. The heat of his body warmed all the right places, and his questions seemed to say one thing, but mean another.
Longing flared inside her, hot and intense. She hadn’t experienced anything even close to desire for so long she’d almost forgotten what it felt like. She tried to push it aside, but it clung, as stubborn as her anger for Renic used to be.
“What do you want right now, Lizzie?” Renic’s whisper was a caress across her ear.
If she turned her head just right, her lips would meet his.
What she wanted and what she should do fought with each other in her head, while her body reacted to how close he was. She should push him away and get into the car and never, ever look at him again.
She put her hands on his chest to do just that, but then couldn’t bring herself to actually do it. Her hands drifted slowly down the front of him. She savored the feel of him through his shirt. He was a strong, steady presence. The muscles in his stomach tightened as her fingers passed lightly over them. When she reached the waistband of his jeans, his breath caught. She snatched her hands away.
“I want…I want to help my sister.”
Renic growled a low, frustrated rumbling that sent a little shiver through her nether regions. “When are you going to just take what you want without thinking so damn much about it? When was the last time you let yourself be loved? When was the last time you put yourself first?”
She huffed out a bitter laugh as her thoughts raced from his question to the real answer she didn’t have the courage to say out loud: it had been three years since her divorce was final, three and a half years since she’d had sex.
What she yearned for right now was to act on the crazy desire she’d felt so many years ago.
She wanted Jackson Renic.
What would it be like to act on her impulses like Della usually did, instead of carefully planning every moment of every day?
The fact that she wanted him so much that she could barely stand made her irritated with herself, and with him. “I don’t need to be first. I’ve never needed that.”
He scoffed. “Everyone needs that. Hell, you deserve to come first in someone else’s eyes. Didn’t your ex treat you like you were the only light in his world, at least at the beginning?”
She’d thought so, at the time. The first few months had been a whirlwind of parties and music and lust. But then their relationship had devolved, and she’d become a housekeeper, a secretary, a cook, and a convenient trophy to show off at parties.
“He gave me what I needed at the time.”
She refused to meet Renic’s gaze, even though she could feel the heat of it along her face. If she looked at him, she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from acting on the desire that continued to grow with every word he said and every second he remained so close.
“Really? From where I stood, that man didn’t know the meaning of the word give. He was a taker, pure and simple.”
“That’s over and done with. I’ve moved on. I’m happy.” Her voice broke on the last word, and half a sob escaped her lips before she clamped down on it.
Damn the man for stirring up the past like this .
Renic took her chin in his free hand and gently turned her face toward his. She saw in his eyes a reflection of the desire that had been growing within her ever since he’d walked through the door of her inn. No, before that. Since they’d first met, if she were honest with herself.
She’d worn her anger as a shield so that she didn’t have to deal with the fact that she was attracted to him and that she’d liked him—far more than she should have—for a very long time. Removing that shield would leave her vulnerable. If she let him in, and if he turned out like her husband, it would hurt far worse this time around.
She stared into his eyes, and the shield slipped.
“You always were able to handle whatever life threw at you. But you deserve more than you’ve been given. Put yourself first. I dare you.”
He was so close that the space between them was practically nonexistent. His thigh brushed against hers. His face was close enough that she couldn’t really focus on it anymore. She wanted to know what his lips on hers felt like. All thoughts of her sister, the inn, and the wedding faded until they were a blur somewhere in the back of her mind.
Renic’s lips traced the barest hint of a trail along her earlobe. “It’s time to take what you want. Or do you not know what that is?”
Something inside her snapped.
She reached up and dragged his head down to hers until their lips crashed together. It was too fast and awkward and hurt a little at first. Then her lips softened against his, his tongue caressed hers, and the night melted.
Her hands clung to his shoulders as they tasted each other. The heat they generated chased away the cold. She was vaguely aware of cars entering the parking lot.
A laugh .
A soft whistle.
She ignored them. She took the kiss, then took another, and another, until she couldn’t quite catch her breath. When they finally came up for air, Renic’s eyes were half closed, and his lips were bright red.
“Jesus,” Renic said.
She pulled his face closer, a ghost of a smile on her lips. “I’ve wanted to do that for a really long time.”
“I’ve wanted it longer than that, but I’d given up hope. I thought you hated me.” His smile made her insides turn liquid.
She shook her head. “I never hated you. I was mad at you.”
He tilted his head. “So we done, then?”
“Not even close.”
Her usual tight control lifted, leaving raw desire to pilot her body. She wanted him right here, right now, and damn the consequences.
Lizzie didn’t even look to see if anyone was watching. She didn’t want anything stopping what came next. She put one hand on Renic’s chest to move him out of the way and ripped open the door to the back seat of the SUV.
She gave Renic a little shove. “Get in.” Her voice came out rough and raw and more than a little insistent.
His crooked smile put a glint of fire into his eyes. He held up his hands as if in surrender. “Whatever you say.”
Renic slid into the backseat.
Lizzie pushed in after him, pulled the door shut, and locked it.
There were a thousand reasons why this was a bad idea, but she just didn’t care. She felt like a teenager, taking what she wanted when she wanted it, and God help her she wanted him .
They’d parked well away from the building’s neon sign, but there was enough ambient light to see Renic’s face. It was full of expectation and raw lust. His long legs stretched at odd angles, one pushing under the driver’s seat while the other bent in, his knee propped against the passenger side door. The position left the path to his body completely open to her.
He opened his arms, and she launched herself at him, landing in an awkward heap with one leg over his lap, the other knee braced against the seat in between his legs, and both hands on his head to hold him still while she dove in for another kiss.
Her mouth moved against his, hard and fast, daring him to keep up. His hands traveled down her back, leaving a trail of heat in their wake, until he cupped her ass and pulled her even closer.
She rocked her hips against him while they kissed, enjoying the way his thigh rubbed her most sensitive body parts.
Renic’s hands moved under her shirt to grapple with her bra. When it came free, he broke off the kiss long enough to say in a rough, low voice, “You’re overdressed.”
She leaned back too fast and hit her head on the overhead dome light. “Ow!”
“Sorry!”
“You should be.” She tugged at his pants. “I’m not the only one who’s overdressed.”
He unbuttoned his jeans, moving the zipper entirely too slow for her taste. She rifled through her purse for the lone condom she’d stashed there after the divorce. Wishful thinking back then. Wish fulfillment now. She tossed it to him, and he caught it with deft fingers.
Lizzie shifted until her back was plastered against the window and her head was jammed against the ceiling, and worked the button and zipper on her own jeans. Sliding them down to her hips was no problem, but after that it became a tangle of arms and legs and a lot of hip gyration to get her pants off.
She was so ready for him that every nerve south of her navel screamed for attention and release. She pushed her panties down and tried to kick them off, but they got tangled in a knot around her ankle and the connector for the seat belt.
Renic put his hand on her calf and slid it down. “I got it.”
He pulled the bit of cloth away from the buckle, and then her foot was free, and the offending fabric was tossed aside. He lifted his hips, and she tugged at his underwear until it, too, was out the way, then she straddled him, rotating her hips to encourage him into the right position.
She took him inside herself and moaned with satisfaction. His answering groan of pleasure was enough to push her into motion. She moved her hips with feverish abandon, desperate to be filled by him.
Their heat filled the car until the windows fogged over. She rocked her pelvis faster and harder, pushing and reaching for the peak that refused to come until Renic reached between her legs and rubbed in strong, steady, circular motions, rhythmically stroking in time to her thrusts until pressure built and expanded and exploded.
She arched her back, and a shout of pure pleasure erupted from deep within, powered by the shock of release that had been a long time coming. She rode the waves as long as she could, milking every last ounce of sensation. He was hot and comforting and satisfying, and she didn’t want it to end. After the last tingles of pleasure faded, she remained where she was with him buried deep within. She wanted him to stay, and she wanted this bubble with Renic to last a little while longer.