Chapter 26
RACHEL
Rachel’s life was the perfect symphony of defective and she was the conductor. Yes, someone had seriously tossed handfuls of dysfunction glitter all over her, and that shit got in everything. It was, apparently, also impossible to get out.
All the Franks—including Evelyn and Bob—had come down with whatever virus had joined them on their vacation. Rachel had been up all night taking care of them, because of her titanium stomach and an immune system not fueled by toaster tarts.
After Brady’s impressive demonstration in the kitchen, they’d all fallen like dominoes.
Click. Click. Click.
One Frank after another.
Rachel had started a log for each of them to document their medication usage, temperature, and any other pertinent information. Given that she hadn’t slept all night, she’d seriously started to worry she’d forget who was who. Writing everything down became extra important.
She sent the dogs to stay in her bedroom so they wouldn’t get in the way. Because when it all went down, they seriously got in the way.
Like, a lot.
“Rach?” Gavin rolled over on the leather sofa where she’d set up his triage station. That’s what she called it in her mind, anyway. It sounded more impressive than “his spot on the sofa.”
She’d just checked his temperature—it was finally under a hundred. She was pretty sure he’d be holding down some fluids soon.
It’d hit him last, but it’d hit him hard when he finally went under.
“What’s up?” She set a cup of ice chips beside him on the coffee table.
Gavin started to sit. “I can take over.”
Rachel pushed him back down. “I’m good for a while longer. Rest. Then I’ll catch a nap. The worst seems to be over.”
Well, for most everyone.
Travis’s triage station was still in the bathroom. She’d set him up with a pillow on the floor and a couple of blankets.
Mostly, he wanted to be left alone. She knew this because he requested that exact thing. She still required temperature checks so she could be sure he wasn’t going in the wrong direction.
Evelyn and Bob had eventually moved back to their bedroom, but Evelyn had a bell to ring for Rachel.
The bell thing was super lovely. Insert all the sarcasm.
“Ask Mom,” Kellan said with a huff to something Rachel hadn’t caught and probably didn’t want to know. “I gave back the gummy bears. You can go get them out of the trash whenever you want.”
“No, you may not,” Rachel said, tucking their blankets back around them. She positioned the two of them on the sofa across from Gavin. Brady at one end, Kellan at the other.
The boys, because they were kids, were bouncing back quicker than the rest.
Having everyone in the same room was easier for her to manage. She’d even set up the other couch for Travis, when he decided to get up off the floor and join them.
He wasn’t going to his bedroom because she was not giving him a bell. One bell per virus was plenty.
Also, when this was all over, Rachel was not allowing gummy bears ever, ever again. The boys could have them when they were old enough to vote. Not a second before.
Yes, she understood it was not the gummy bears’ fault that everyone got sick, but she couldn’t ban toaster tarts. She had to draw the line somewhere.
“We should play video games,” Gavin said, directing this statement to the boys. “You think we can convince your mom to set us up out here with a console?”
Yes, they could. Because if they were well enough to play video games, they were well enough for her to go crash for a while. At least, until Travis peeled himself off the floor or Evelyn rang her bell.
“Yesssss,” Brady said, his gaze settling on his dad. “We have this new game that makes everyone happy. Even Mom.”
“‘Cause she gets five minutes of peace,” Kellan parroted in a voice that sounded remarkably like Rachel’s, if she did say so herself.
She couldn’t help it, even in the midst of the destruction of their vacation, she smiled.
And wasn’t that really what motherhood was all about?
“Ha.” Rachel set up one of her hey-so-you-threw-up packets on the floor beside Kellan. It included a bowl, a wet washcloth, and nitrile gloves she’d stolen from the first aid kit—because she’d learned her lesson on not wearing those in the kitchen with Brady.
“I kind of wanted to talk to you both about Dakota first.” Gavin gave Rachel a look that seemed like he was asking for backup.
Actually, she was really interested in this conversation, too. So she was happy to give him that backup.
Gavin stared at his hands, fidgeting with them over the top of the blanket. “We broke up. She’s not going to be around to see you boys anymore.”
His words held strength, but Rachel heard the hurt beneath them. Gavin was in pain. It wasn’t just his stomach. And that sucked.
“She’s really upset about that,” Gavin continued. “The not seeing you anymore.”
Not from what Rachel had heard. She was upset about a lot, but none of it had seemed to revolve around the boys or the dogs. But whatever Gavin needed to tell himself, and the boys, to lighten the blow of losing her.
“Okay,” Kellan said, nodding.
“Sorry, Dad,” Brady followed. “She was nice.”
Then they went back to watching whatever animated show they’d found on Netflix. Like Gavin hadn’t just given them information that was seriously going to change their lives.
Gavin was blinking hard. And a whole lot.
“Are you okay?” Rachel sat at the end of the sofa where he stretched out. He didn’t look okay, but she couldn’t think of what else to ask him.
“I’m…”
“It’s okay not to be okay,” Rachel said, softly, so only Gavin could hear.
Fine. Maybe she said the words for herself a little, too. Even pale, even exhausted, he gave her a sad smile.
“That’s a very Rachel thing to say.”
“Is it?” She tilted her head to the side, studying him.
He nodded. Then he cleared his throat. “How’s Travis holding up?”
Presently he was lying down. On the tile floor of the bathroom. At least, that’s where she’d left him when she peeked in on him last.
“Apparently, he prefers silence while he recovers.” Rachel slid her gaze toward the hallway leading to the restroom where he’d taken up residence. “I’ve been checking on him, though.”
“He always did prefer to do things his way.” Gavin closed his eyes for a minute.
So did Gavin, if he decided to be honest with himself, but now was clearly not the time to point that out.
“Once you’re well enough, we can go someplace and talk about what’s happening between Travis and me. If you want to,” Rachel said, toying with the edge of the blanket. “It sounds like you and I have both had an eventful summer.”
“Eventful” being the least appropriate word ever.
Gavin didn’t say anything for a bit; he seemed to be intently studying the wall behind Rachel.
“Are you happy with him?” he finally asked.
The way he said it sounded like her answer really mattered.
But that question was an easy one. “Yes. He makes me really happy.”
“Then that’s what counts.” Gavin smiled. It seemed forced, but he was trying, and she appreciated that more than she’d ever be able to show.
The bone-deep satisfaction she experienced at Gavin’s willingness to let her be happy made her smile. Maybe they could be real friends, beyond just co-parents.
“I thought you might be more upset about it,” she said, not able to meet his gaze.
“I knew you’d meet someone eventually. I’m not thrilled it’s Travis.
” Gavin glanced at her. “I wish it were anyone but one of my brothers. But he makes you happy. You’re both important to me.
Your happiness is important to me. I’ll deal with the rest of it, so it doesn’t affect what you’ve built for our family. ”
“What have I built?” She had an idea of what she felt like they’d constructed as a team, she was just suddenly really curious what he thought, too.
“You built a pretty awesome situation for our boys. They know they’re loved. They know you’ll be there for them. I wish I could say that I had a huge hand in it, but I don’t think that’s true. Mostly, it’s you, Rachel.”
Rachel swallowed hard. “You’re not giving yourself enough credit.”
They both sat in silence, the only sound the television the boys were watching nearby.
This was how it should’ve been. Well, without the vomit and convalescence part. Two parents, two kids, two dogs, the television on in the background. Nothing falling apart for a change. And yet…
“I think I’m falling in love with your brother,” she said, the words surprisingly easy, given the weight they held.
Gavin looked at her like she’d just suggested they all eat toaster tarts for dinner. “That’s good, because I’m pretty sure he’s already there.”
“You think?” He seriously thought so?
Gavin nodded, a sly smile tipping the edges of his mouth. “He’s in pretty deep. Deeper than I’ve ever seen him.”
Her heart seemed to expand, even though she was pretty sure nothing had changed at all. And that was…that was…
Her eyes got a little wet. She parted her lips. Then pressed them together.
“Thank you,” she said. Meaning every bit of the words.
“For what?”
“For starting me down this path.” She would not cry.
Refused to do it.
“You know, Rach, I didn’t want to stay away. But I didn’t want to make your life harder, either. You always seemed like you preferred it when I stepped back so you could run the show.”
She stilled. That’s what he thought?
The sticky, bitter taste of regret seemed to coat her tongue. “That’s not what I wanted at all.”
She wanted her kids to have their dad. To have everything.
When Gavin had stepped back, she’d done all she could to fill that gap. Maybe…did she not need to?
They did the silent thing again until she stood to go check on Travis.
Was she the one making things harder than they needed to be? She was, she knew. And she hadn’t even realized it.
Suddenly, she really wanted to check on Travis, to ensure he was okay.
She drew a deep breath. This conversation with Gavin was just really uncomfortable, and she wanted to get away from it. From failing.
So she did the hard thing. She sat back down. “I’m sorry you thought that’s what I wanted.”
“Besides, it’s not me you need to worry about on the Rachel and Travis front.” Gavin pursed his lips, then gave a wry smile. “It’s Mama. She’s got ideas for all her little chicks, and Mother Hen did not have designs on you ending up with her Travis.”
Rachel sucked in a breath. “What do you think I should do about her?”
“Well, I think you and Travis have to decide together what’s important and what’s not. If she’s important—and, I kinda think she should be, but it’s not my call—then you work it out with her.”
That was a problem, then, because, “I have no idea how to work anything out with your mom.”
“Show her how much you care for Travis. She’ll come around.”
Rachel nodded. She could do that. She wasn’t sure it would be enough, but it was something she could do.
“It won’t hurt the situation that all I want, Rach, is for you to be happy.” This time he smiled a genuine smile. “If that means it’s with Travis, then it means you’re happy with Travis. He’s a good guy.”
“That’s not what you used to say.” In fact, that was the opposite of what he used to say.
Gavin shrugged. “He takes things too casually at work. But I assume he’s treating you right, and it helps the way he looks at you like you’re everything. He’s never looked at anyone that way.”
That brought a whole dash of wet to her eyes.
“I want the same for you. The happiness,” she said.
“I screwed up my chance…twice.” He stilled and closed his eyes.
“But did Dakota really make you happy?”
He opened his eyes, seemed to study the vacant air before him. “Dakota gave me hope.”
“Then I’m sorry you lost that.” Rachel fidgeted with her hands because she wasn’t quite sure what to do with them. She should probably reach out to him. But that didn’t feel right, either. “Hope is a good thing.”
“I’m not sorry it’s over.” He yawned, closed his eyes again. “Because it shouldn’t take someone else to give me that hope. Not when I’ve got two of the best little miracles puking their hearts out with me.”
“You’re going to be more actively involved with them?” That would not suck. Not at all. The boys needed this from Gavin.
“Yeah.” He nodded, opening his eyes briefly again to stare at the boys with a total look of love. “I don’t want to miss any more.”
That look he gave them made her heart do flips on their behalf. They had a good dad. He wanted good things for her. And that meant a lot.
He was also wrong. She hadn’t built all of this. They’d done it as a team, and now they could both move forward, together as co-parents who wanted each other to be happy.
Even if that happiness was with other people.
“You need to get some sleep.” She moved to him, tucked him in like she’d done with the boys, and patted his arm.
“Video games later,” he said before he did as she asked.
She glanced at the boys. They were drifting off, closing their eyes even though they were clearly fighting to watch Netflix, to avoid sleep. Just like their dad.
Gavin snuggled under the blanket she’d put over him earlier in the night.
“I promise I’ll do better with them,” he added.
“Good.” She said it to him, but mostly to herself. And, with that, she went to find Travis.