Chapter 11
11
Lis
A idan’s been touching me in some small way all day. And though I’m not used to being on the receiving end of so much attention, I don’t hate it. I don't hate it at all. Weeks ago, it made me really self-conscious—exposed and on edge. But, now I think I like it.
It was reassuring, having his touch as we walked through Central Park and the zoo. It had been so much a part of our day that it totally takes me by surprise when he drops my hand and puts a little extra space between us as we walk into the pub where we’re meeting Jimmy for dinner. I try not to bristle, but it just doesn’t feel right.
“I’ll be right back, I’m going to run to the restroom.” I’ve felt off kilter since practically tripping over Aidan outside my building this morning.
What are we doing?
Aidan is at the bar, deep in conversation with someone but Jimmy’s at a booth near the back of the pub. I move to slide into the seat across from him, but he pats the seat next to him. “Sit here. If he’s gonna be a daft fool, we can work on making him realize it. Come ’ere.”
I perch on the edge of my seat and reach for a menu. “What do you mean?”
“I saw him. Dropped your hand and took a step away. Fuckin’ stupid arse…” I miss what he mumbles after that as the pub erupts in cheers at a game up on the screens around the bar. Jimmy snaps his focus to the game and launches into a tirade on Gaelic football and the team that just scored. “…it’s like rugby but fewer rules, yeah? The players are tougher, harder—thicker skulls.” I nod along, not really paying attention, my mind picking the day apart. “…played back in Dublin.”
“Wait. What?” I drag my gaze from the screen to Aidan. This is not where my focus is. I can’t see Aidan in the short shorts, no protective gear, with ruddy cheeks and sweaty hair fighting for an oversized football. “But he’s a photographer. They would crush him.” As fit as he is, Aidan is small compared to the guys in this game.
“Concerned for him?” Jimmy smirks. “He played for his school—he was the big one on the field then, yeah.” He leans in sliding a pint glass toward me.
I push him back and taste what he ordered me. “What is this?”
“That, love, is a snakebite. Treat it with respect, or we’ll be carrying you to the train.” He laughs at me while checking to see where Aidan is. He’s no longer at the bar, they’ve moved to a small table by the door. He looks pissed, really angry about something.
Jimmy tries to pull my attention away from what’s becoming a pretty heated discussion. He signals to the waitress and turns to me. “Are we celebrating tonight?”
“Celebrating what?” The waitress sets a couple shots on the table and waits while Jimmy orders some appetizers. I down the shot of Jameson and look back toward Aidan “What is he so upset about? Do you know?”
“Erm, you’ll have to take that up with your man.” Jimmy signals for another round of shots and puts his arm around me pulling me closer. The waitress unloads plates piled full of nachos and potato skins. Our table is ridiculously full with all the food, fresh pints, and more shots. Aidan looks over and his expression goes from curious to pissed when he takes in the drinks and empty shot glasses in front of us. Or maybe it’s how close Jimmy’s leaning in to me.
“Jimmy.” Our faces are closer than I realized. “What are you doing?”
He reaches across me, enveloping me in his grasp as he grabs the ketchup. “I told you. We’re going to show him what he’s fuckin’ with.” He sits back and looks straight at Aidan with an eyebrow about lodged in his hairline. Challenging him.
I feel even more off balance than I did when we walked in here. The shots, the things coming out of Jimmy’s mouth and the steely glare Aidan’s throwing this way. I grab the two shots that were just deposited at our table and down them one after the other, immediately realizing my mistake.
The alcohol burns its way through my veins, making my head swim and my cheeks heat up. When Aidan finally tears his attention away from me, I feel like I can breathe again. I excuse myself to the restroom, needing some space to think.
I lock the door behind me and fall back against it. What am I doing? The back and forth in my head is driving me insane. No matter how hard I try, no matter how busy I make myself with school and work, I end up thinking about him constantly. I crave him. His wit, the way he cares for me—his touch.
Rob is my benchmark. Ours is the only real relationship I’ve had and that was a mess. I’ve never done the casual hookup thing—can’t imagine a one-night stand. Emotionally, it’s not me, but adding in my clinical knowledge, makes it a hard no.
This thing with Aidan falls somewhere in the gray area. There’s definitely an end point. He’s here for an extended visit, not to make a life. I know I’m not ready to jump into dating or anything serious, the draw to him is very real. I can spend time with him—date him—knowing that it will end. It all makes perfect sense bumping through my whiskey-addled brain.
He can be my distraction.
The bumping turns to pounding and I realize it’s not in my brain, but someone needing the restroom. The pub filled up while I was hiding out, and there’s a line five people deep. And Aidan is at the table with Jimmy. Heads bent together in a heated discussion, mirroring the scene between Aidan and Lance? Lucas? before I escaped into the restroom.
The conversation blatantly dies as I return to the table. Jimmy’s turned his back to the brick wall with his legs stretched across the seat, and nods toward the spot next to Aidan.
Aidan reaches for my hand, guiding me down to sit with him. “That took a lot longer than I thought it would. I’m sorry.” His thumb rubs my inner wrist sending electric heat coursing through my body.
I’m at the tipping point, where I either should stop drinking and take a nap or just fully commit to feeling awful tomorrow. “We…we had some things to straighten out, Liam and I. I’m sorry for the time it took. But you and Jimmy—you were alright, yeah?” There’s a spiky edge to his question, something else that I can’t quite read.
“Yup.” My rational thoughts blur into a fuzzy haze, my pulse speeding up under the lazy circles he’s tracing on my wrist. I reach for Aidan’s tumbler of whiskey and drain it in one gulp. I just shut my brain off, letting go of my tightly ordered thoughts and become a happy little mess.
Aidan
I got well and truly stuck in the conversation with Liam. I had agreed to meet him—really, he strong-armed me into it—while he was in town, but this is not at all where I want to be.
I left Dublin to get away from the drama and to try and grieve my brother’s death. On my own. In my own way. Michael was too fucking young to die. And now his widow has more shite on her plate than anyone should.
Liam had gone ’round to check in on Lorna, and because burying her husband at twenty-six was not enough, she just learned she’s fallen pregnant. The hits just keep on coming.
While I thought this would be a quick meetup, I’ve spent far longer with Liam than I had planned, watching as Jimmy and Lisbeth drink and laugh—watching him move closer to her. That shite’s not okay.
I can feel my blood heating as I tense, staring daggers through him. I’m not concerned he’s making a move on her. I just wish it were me cozied up to her.
“Are you fuckin’ listening to me?” Shite. I am—but not really. “Lorna’s not okay. She’s really struggling. I think you need to talk to her. Maybe come home.”
“I’ll talk to her. But Christ, Liam, I can’t come home just now. I?—”
He follows my line of sight and drops his pint glass to the table. “Yeah, mate. Sure.” Liam huffs out a judgmental breath, shaking his head. “Aidan, have your fun here, yeah? But you’ve family at home that need you. She’s having a baby. She just buried her husband. You were best fucking friends and the one helping her deal with all that and then you just fuckin’ left—” Liam’s good and hacked off at me for leaving Dublin just days after Michael’s funeral. “She depended on you. And now she needs you more than ever—and you’re over here, fuckin’ about.” He’s practically spitting the words at me now and Lisbeth is watching us.
Fucking hell.
I lean in toward Liam, my voice calm and low. “I will talk to Lorna. I’ll let you know when I’ve spoken with her. And what we’re gonna do.” I push back from the table and stand. “It was good to see you, Liam.” I clap him on the back and turn, ready to put this all behind me for today and get back to Lis.
I watch Lis walk away as I move toward the table in the back. She seems to have this need to escape when things start to overwhelm her. Like she just needs to wrap her head around the situation on her own before she can face it.
I slide into the seat across from Jimmy, my thoughts swirling around in my head. I ran from the overwhelming emotion of losing my brother and left my best friend in the process, and now I’m not ready to go back. Eyes trained on the door of the loo, I swirl the whiskey ’round my glass wishing that my thoughts could order themselves the same way.
“Are you fuckin’ listening to me?”
“What?” No. I’ve not heard a damn thing Jimmy has said.
“The fuck are you doin’? You’re stupid—droppin’ her hand and blowing her off. Francie saw that, he’d fuckin’ lay you out…” Jimmy’s ripping into me.
I lean in and make sure I’ve got his attention so I can catch him up on Lorna and the baby.
“Don’t you fuckin’ ruin shite with Lis, man. You need to come clean. You need to tell her what’s goin’ on.” Jimmy emphasizes his point by pounding his shot glass on the tabletop.
“I know, just…let me talk to Lorna first, figure out what to do there. I… chssss— ” I break off mid rant as Lisbeth comes back to the table.
I don’t want to do this now. I’ve wasted enough of the evening and I want to take it back, spend it with this girl—not thoughts of my brother’s pregnant widow.
The train ride back home was a mess and I feel nothing but relief that I have these two safely tucked away at McBride’s. I tried—truly tried—to talk them into calling it a night but they’re dead set on drinking each other under the table.
I end up helping Finn behind the bar since Jimmy’s in no shape to work his shift. It’s not all that busy tonight, but that and his inebriation give me the leverage I need to swap shifts and have tomorrow free to spend with Lis.
She’s going to feel like shite as it is, so I water down her drinks and try to get her to eat something. “What is it with you and food? We should just go have a picnic—that’s totally what we should do.” She slams both palms down on the bar to make her point. “We should go to…that place on the river…that mansion?” The place is beautiful. It’s a historic mansion with gorgeous grounds and gardens. I drove through there a while back and have had it pegged as a place to go and shoot—to get creative with my photography.
“Maybe we should get you home soon so we can take advantage of…”
She cuts me off with another slam to the bar top. “There will be no taking advantage of m-me tonight. Nope. Sorry, not gonna happen.’’ She’s adorable and trying so hard to look offended and serious…and not off her tits.
“No feckin’ takin’ advantage of your girl. You treated ’er like shite today and you canna do tha…and ye nade ter be ’onest wit ’er…” Jimmy’s far gone and making no fucking sense anymore. I can hardly understand his slurs—hopefully Lisbeth will miss what he’s getting at, as well. But I slide him another pint to distract the bastard from spilling about Lorna.
Jesus, I need to call her first thing in the morning and talk with her.
“Love. We need to take advantage of the beautiful day tomorrow.” Though, Christ, if I’m honest with myself, I’d love to take advantage of her. “Let’s get you safe home and to bed, and we’ll go on that picnic tomorrow.” Jimmy glares at me, just now figuring out that I distracted him with a beer. I hold his stare and slide him another pint. “We’ll talk later, yeah?”
As I help Lisbeth toward the door, I turn to Finn. “I’m taking her home now—and Jimmy’s got my shift tomorrow. You good?”
Finn looks up from his phone. “I am. You taking Jimmy home wit’ you?”
Shaking my head, I laugh and silently tell him no.