Chapter 26
26
Lis
I feel like I didn’t sleep at all last night. There were too many thoughts racing through my head for me to relax and fall asleep. I sat for a long time looking at the ring he’d given me. It looks nothing like the Claddagh that Francie’s worn for as long as I’ve known him. This is so much more.
I twist it around my finger—around and around—sliding it off.
“Hey, you up?” The smell of fresh coffee wafts into my room as Gracyn knocks and cracks the door. “I didn’t expect to see you back here this morning. Everything okay?”
I slide up toward the headboard as she hands me a mug and settles in next to me. “I’m okay.” I fumble with the mug and trying to get my ring back on before I drop it in my covers.
“What the hell is that?” Gracyn grabs my hand and pulls me toward her, spilling coffee on my white duvet. It’s not a typical Claddagh—not like any that I’ve seen before. There’s a red stone in the shape of a heart, my birthstone maybe. And the silvery blackish metal that makes up the rest of the ring has small diamonds set in the crown. “Lis?—”
“I know. I kind of freaked out a little when he gave it to me. But it’s not an engagement ring, obviously.” I can’t take my eyes off of it.
“But it could be, right? It means different things on different hands and which way the crown faces? God, it’s gorgeous.” She pulls it closer and spins it around my finger sliding it off again. The sun streaming through the window hits the stones, scattering dots of light and color across the wall. “So why? Why are you here? Why did this date end with me drinking coffee in bed with you? Instead of eating a bowl of cold cereal on the couch by myself?”
I set my cup down on the table next to my bed and take my ring from Gracyn, turning it over in my hand. I have been all over the place thinking about last night. Thinking about what Aidan said, what he asked. That he’s staying for me—for us.
As the words tumble out of my mouth, I run my feet up and down the sheets. “He asked me to move in with him. He said he’s staying and he loves me. He asked me to move in with him.” My nose scrunches up as I grit my teeth waiting for her reaction. Really, I want to not lose my shit.
Saying it out loud feels different. It makes my heart flutter and I can’t sit still. My knee starts bouncing and I chance a peek at her face.
“Oh, Lissy, that’s good, right? Are you gonna do it? Move?” Her wide eyes search my face.
“I told him I’d say yes soon.”
“Not an appropriate answer to that question, Lis. Why didn’t you just say yes? Not because of Rob?”
I bop my head back and forth. “Yes and no. But mostly because of you?”
“Nope. Nuh uh, not okay. Did we not just have a big thing about me not using you as an excuse to avoid life? You can’t use me that way either, Lis.”
“So not the same thing. I just—you’ve done so much for me, G. I can’t just walk away and leave you here alone. Dump the rest of the rent on you, that’s not fair. I told him I needed to talk to you and make a plan. That’s what we do, right? We make plans and stick to them?” I pin her with a glare. “Isn’t that why you walked away from Gavin? Because of plans and rules?”
“Not now.” The edge in her voice cuts right into me. “We’ll deal with that another day.”
“Because it’s not in the plan?” Snotty comebacks, I can do with Gracyn. Only Gracyn. “When are you going to talk to me about him?”
“Not today.” End of story. She climbs off my bed and that subject is closed. “So, I start looking for another roommate. No big deal.” Those last three words, she tosses over her shoulder as she walks out of my room.
“Are you mad? I don’t have to move in with him yet…” I grab my cup and follow her out to the kitchen.
“Yeah, I am.” She slams the milk carton on the counter and stares at me. Her shoulders droop as she releases a tense sigh. “Lis, be selfish, just this once. What does your heart tell you? What do you want? Because it looked a hell of a lot like excitement right when you told me. But you’re holding yourself back. Is it for you—because you’re not sure—or because of something else?”
“I am excited. I don’t think I realized how much, though, until I heard myself say the words. It’s scary, and exciting and not at all what was in my plan book. You know— you know— I have to take a step back and think. I can’t make decisions on the spot, not big ones. And this is big—really fucking big.” I drop down into a seat at the counter. “I want to. It’s crazy and probably wrong and absolutely one of the scariest things I can think of, but I want to do this. I love him and I want to wake up with him, every day. But that doesn’t change us, and I’m not leaving you hanging.”
My heart flutters when I realize what I just said. What I just admitted to myself for the first time.
Slowly Gracyn's lips lift and spread into a big snarky smile. “Well, then. I’m going to go start looking for a new roommate and you should get dressed and tell Aidan it’s happening.” She shoves me toward the hall. “Just know, you’re not going to look near as hot as you did last night. I bet he’s devastated thinking about those heels and where he wanted them last night.”
The volume of voices coming through the door doesn’t match the lack of crowd. It’s still early and there’s only a handful, a really small one, of cars parked outside McBride’s. But the voice booming from the bar, nearly explodes as I step inside. And crash into Rob’s chest.
“The fuck, Lis? Watch it—you practically ran over me.” I step to my right and try to make sense of what’s happening. Aidan’s hand is planted firmly in the center of Francie’s chest. Pushing him back from Rob and…Maryse? Everyone stops—talking, yelling, moving. Or it just seems that way to me. I don’t know.
“Sorry. I-I didn’t mean to?—”
“Swear to God, felt like I got hit by a fucking linebacker.” Rob rubs at his chest. I didn’t even hit him that hard. And Maryse wraps herself around him and giggles. She giggles. Fucking giggles.
It’s only seconds—seconds that feel like they drag on forever—before I shift my eyes to Aidan. His expression is fierce, fists clenched and veins popping on his forearms.
Where Rob is all loud blustery bravado, Aidan moves with a quiet purpose. Each determined step hints at the promise of barely held restraint.
“It’s time for you to go. Now.” His voice is a low growl that raises goose bumps on my skin.
I glance at my sister and ex-boyfriend. They’re stunned silent, like deer caught in the headlights of a truck.
Rob rips the door open and practically runs out, leaving Maryse behind.
“I called you, left you a voicemail and you didn’t call back.” Her eyes flick toward Aidan as she settles her hand on the push plate of the door. “I came looking for you. I don’t appreciate the way my fiancé and I were treated by your friends.”
Her bitch factor is off the charts as she sweeps a diamond-crusted hand game show-style. “Our wedding is next month. See if you can lose a few pounds, I’m not sure your ass’ll fit in the dress I picked for you.”
And she’s gone.
The bright sun flares in my eyes momentarily blinding me when the door closes, throwing the room into a cool darkness. I don’t know what just happened. The only thing I can do is laugh—high, thready and shrill. Aidan’s hands wrap around my shoulders and he dips down, eyes darting back and forth between mine.
“So, that was my sister.” Oh. My. God. “And her fiancé.”
“Are you alright? Come, sit down a minute.” He slides his hand around my back, pulling me in close.
The twenty feet between the entrance and the bar is all it takes for me to push the shock aside. Most of the shock. Aidan ushers me to a barstool and Francie sets a pint in front of me. With a nod toward the glass, he apologizes. “They weren’t to ever be here again. I made that bloody clear to both of them way back.”
“I know.” Elbows on the bar, I rub my fingers at my temples. “Can I have a whiskey?” Francie sets the bottle on the bar with a couple of glasses, pouring for each of us. “That was not what I was expecting. Not in the least.”
“Sláinte.” The whiskey burns its way down burning off the rest of the ick from Maryse. Francie checks his watch as he comes around to me. He pulls me into a hug and plants a kiss on the top of my head, squeezing me tight. “I’ll leave you, then. Lock the door ’til later if you need.” That sends shivers through my already tense body.
I pour myself another shot and down it before pouring one for each of us. Aidan pulls me around to face him, my knees tucked up between his. Hands on the side of my thighs. “I don’t know whether I want to pity him or kill him.”
Aidan
I know what I want to do—exactly what I want to do. I want to kill the bastard and her sister too. Hearing the stories about her family was bad, but this? Seeing how they treat her. Tossing out insults like she doesn’t matter.
This girl fucking matters.
It comes out on a huff, a sad little laugh, mostly through her nose. “What happened?”
I try to get some control over the anger simmering in my belly. It’s making my skin itch. “Lisbeth?—”
“Seriously, why were they here? Why can’t they just leave me alone?” Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are dark. Really dark.
“Francie told them never to come here. I’m allowed—I can make the choice to screen my calls. Avoid people who treat me like shit. I don’t owe her anything. Not a fucking thing.” She pulls her phone out and taps at it until her sister’s voice starts in.
Lis, you need to call me. Rob and I have exciting news…
The high-pitched nasally whine is too much. I reach over and hit the bin icon and delete the message. “We know what she had to say. There’s no reason to have to listen to that again.”
“And a dress? She picked out a dress for me? Does she think, for a minute, I’m going to be a part of that three-ring shit show? I’m not sure I’m even going to it—why should I? God—if I go it’s only to get in on the betting action on how long it’ll take before one of them cheats on the other. Holy shit.”
The words are just pouring from her. Spilling like there’s no containing them. I want to lock the doors so no one stumbles in on this. I want to let her punch and hit and throw things until she gets it all out. I want to pull her to me and make it go away. Because what I see, what I watch helplessly, is Lis start to crumble.
Tears shine in her eyes as she curls into herself. Her shoulders fold in, her arms tight across her chest. Hair swings forward like a curtain, a protective shield around her face. She’s hiding, this is her retreat. “I—excuse me a minute. I just need?—”
I hold tight to her hips as she tries to wiggle away. “No. No more running. You have your separation from that arsehole and sister. They’re gone. You want to cry? Hide your beautiful face, you do that here—with me.” Sliding out of my seat, I pull her into my chest and wrap her up in my arms.
I hold her. Just hold her as she falls apart. Her body melting from a tense ball of stress to mold perfectly fitting against mine. When she finally weaves her arms around me, gripping the back of my shirt, I feel fucking accomplished. The talking we’ve done, all the touching and loving over the past few months, and this is the moment. She let me in.
And I’m not letting her go.