Chapter 34 #2
“Oh, absolutely. After… everything, she wasn’t ever going to let us be put in a position where we were defenseless again. She learned for herself first, and when I turned eighteen, she took me to the gun range and taught me.”
Trove cocked his head curiously. “Why eighteen?”
“That’s the age of adulthood on Earth.”
“Really?” He paused, looking at her curiously. “So late?”
“Late? What’s the age of adulthood for the domini?”
“Fifteen.”
“So young?!” She reared back, surprised.
“Well, it’s the age you need to reach before you can start training to be a warrior. I’m told it used to be a lot younger, but parents stopped sending their younglings away for training after joining the Coalition. Young soldiers are rather frowned upon in most parts of the universe, apparently.”
“Including Earth,” Chee said, laughing in disbelief. “I feel like combining the words ‘child’ and ‘soldier’ are just terrible regardless of how much your species likes combat.”
He shrugged. “Not for my people. Most parents begin training their younglings how to fight before they get their adult fangs. There are plenty of my people who believe we lost something when we gave up the youngling training camps.”
“Ye-e-eah,” “Chee said slowly, drawing out the sound because she couldn’t agree.
Maybe it was a species thing, because he certainly appeared regretful, like not having child soldiers was something their people sacrificed.
But she didn’t think she could find that to be a good thing regardless of how she thought about it.
“Your people really like fighting, don’t they? ”
“We do.” He reached up and took her hand from his shoulder. He interlaced their fingers together, holding hers tightly. “To my people, hand holding like this is considered very intimate.”
“Hm? Why? I mean, it’s something couples do on my planet too, but I don’t know that I’d call it very intimate.”
“Because if you’re holding someone’s hand like this, you’re not only allowing their claws close to you, but you’re allowing your own claws to be… hindered.”
She couldn’t help but look at the blunted, scarred ends of his fingers. He stared at them as well, his face blank and unreadable.
“Do you hate your scars? Does the sight of them bother you?”
“No,” he said immediately. No hesitation. Like that wasn’t the issue at all.
“Then, do you ever think of getting them healed?”
He didn’t answer this time. Just continued to stare.
“Was it ever something you thought about?”
“There’s no medscanners or medirings on Rik-Vane,” he said.
“Or, if there are, they’re carefully guarded and hoarded by those who have them.
I’d never heard of such a thing. And when we escaped, we didn’t have the credz for something like that.
Every cred we earned was put into making the Humility livable or surviving ourselves.
It was never an option since it wasn’t necessary, and I’ve always done well without them. ”
But his people loved combat and fighting. Their claws must be important to them. And the fact that his were taken so violently must mean he regretted their loss. At least a little.
“I tried before,” he admitted softly. Like it was a shameful secret. “I made appointments. I was just… never able to keep them. I couldn’t go through with it. I don’t know why.”
She nodded. Because, on some level, she understood.
“You took control of the females who hurt you without them. If you grow them back, then you lose that advantage their absence gave you.”
He started, staring at her in shock. Like he’d never considered that. But the truth of it was striking him harshly. She gave him a sad smile.
“Am I right?”
“You… I think you are,” he breathed, looking again at his fingers.
Because even without the claws, they were weapons. Just weapons he’d used to cause pleasure instead of pain. And he couldn’t give that up, because it would mean giving up the precious control that he’d stolen without them.
In a backwards way, it would be like declawing himself again.
“How much is it?” She asked. “Theoretically, I mean. If one did want to regrow their claws, about how much would it cost?”
He shook his head. “Not as much as you think. I could… I could afford it. If I wanted to.”
“Do you want to? I mean, do you feel any differently about it now?” She asked, leaving that door open for him without trying to force him through it. If he wanted to heal his claws, that was a decision he needed to make on his own, just like healing his aversion to her touch.
He paused for a long moment before nodding. “I… do.” But then he looked at her as he lowered their hands.
“If my claws grow back, it won’t be as pleasurable for you.”
Chee laughed. “I doubt that. But you enjoying your life and being happy and healthy makes it all better for me.”
Trove didn’t answer her immediately. He searched her face, like he was trying to find the meaning of her answer written there. She just smiled back at him patiently, waiting for him.
When he finally spoke, however, it wasn’t related to his claws. He just asked, “Are you ready to go back?”