Chapter 36
Chee
Things were different this morning.
Last night had been such a rush of emotion and pain and love, she woke up somehow still exhausted. It had been difficult to see Trove so broken before her, to hold him in her arms, and not break down into tears at the injustice of everything that had been done to him.
She wasn’t sure Trove was capable of understanding yet just how badly he had been hurt and abused in his life.
By nearly everyone in his life. Sure, he knew it was abuse now, he must know he had been tortured, but he didn’t have the experience of a loving family to compare it to that would really allow him to understand the full depth of the betrayal against him.
Maybe one day, he would. As he healed, as he learned the love of family and the bonds that should exist between them, he might really grasp what had happened to him.
But last night, she thought, was probably the first time he’d ever actually allowed himself to feel the pain of his past. And it was painful. It hurt him, it hurt her. But this, as much as his determination to heal, was necessary for him to grow.
Waking up this morning, still holding onto him, Chee felt the weight of that grief and pain still weighing on her chest. They were both still nude, she was lying on her back on the bed.
Trove had his head on her belly, his arms around her waist, his legs over hers.
He was clinging onto her like she was a piece of driftwood in a violent sea.
Even though he was asleep, there was a tightness to his features that spoke of the strain he continued to feel even unconscious.
Chee had one hand on his cheek, the other arm on his back. She had never stopped holding him, even when he eventually picked them up to stagger them to the bed.
The night shields were fully pulled back, so she knew it must be deep into the morning, but she didn’t think she had slept all that long.
They hadn’t gotten to bed until very late – or maybe really early was more accurate.
She didn’t know what time, but the fatigue that made her eyes so heavy told her they hadn’t slept much.
As tired as she was though, she couldn’t go back to sleep. She felt some strange need to keep her eyes on him. To watch him. To make sure he was safe.
She wished his aunt and mother were still alive.
She wanted to kill them herself. She wanted to go back in time and rescue Trove when he was still a child.
She didn’t know how old he had been when he finally broke free from them, he’d looked around fifteen if he were a human teenager, but she didn’t know if that translated perfectly to the domini.
And even if he was fifteen, apparently his people considered that adulthood anyway.
It didn’t matter. She knew eighteen year olds were adults, but they were the youngest form of adults possible, still with the essence of childhood and adolescence clinging to them.
Even if a domini was fully mature at fifteen, that was still the same.
And he’d been hurt long before that, never having a chance to be fully, mentally mature.
Not in the way of someone who was aware of adult things, but in the way of someone who was capable of being a healthy, well-rounded adult.
In some aspects, he still wasn’t that way. But last night, after coming for the first time in either a long time or ever, something had broken in him. A wall that he had built for survival, that had held back a lot of pain for the sake of keeping him going when he wasn’t safe enough to release it.
And yes, breaking that dam had caused a lot of damage, but the release of those flood waters was necessary to wash away the damage that had been done to him. Without that, he would never be able to heal at all.
Still, that didn’t make it any easier to bear – for either of them.
Though she was exhausted and her body was heavy, Chee couldn’t go back to sleep. She remained there, just holding onto him, staring up at the ceiling where there were some shadows that the incoming sunlight couldn’t banish.
It wasn’t very long later that she heard the intercom panel built into the wall beep and San’s aged voice called into the room.
“Sorry to bother you, Chee. Do you have a moment?”
Trove didn’t move, but she felt him stiffen, and she knew he was immediately and fully awake. The sound of a stranger poking into their bubble, even from afar, set off all his survival instincts and he was ready in an instant.
Chee called back, “I do, San. What do you need?”
“Good. Master Hyde is home and waiting for you all in his office. If you wouldn’t mind meeting me down in the entrance lobby, I will guide you all to him.”
“Sure, San. Give us a moment to get dressed and we’ll head down.”
San hummed in agreement and cut the line with a soft beep. He was probably going to be comming the others to tell them the same.
Chee turned her gaze down and she wasn’t at all surprised to see Trove’s three eyes all open. He was looking at the intercom with the lower two but the upper one was focused on her.
She smiled, pushing his hair back. It hurt to smile when she wanted to scream and cry for his sake, but that wasn’t what he needed.
He didn’t need her rage at those that had hurt him.
It served no purpose at all. She could be mad at them later, when she was alone and he wasn’t the center of her focus.
What he needed was her unconditional love and care.
Because this wasn’t about those evil people. This was about them. And as much as last night hurt, she was still grateful he had given her that moment. That he trusted her enough to have that breakdown with her.
“Good morning,” she said.
Slowly, he pushed himself up so he could look down at her. His expression, in contrast to her open, happy smile, was closed and unreadable. He stared at her for a long moment. Searching for something. She made sure that the only thing he could find was her joy at being with him.
Chee just laid there, letting him stare.
Waiting for him to decide what he would do.
If he wanted to run from this again, if he wanted to put off dealing with these emotions until later, after he had some time to regain his strength, she’d go along with him.
Whatever he needed. It was what he had been doing up to now, so she was ready for it.
She was therefore surprised when he leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose.
“I love you too,” he said.
He kissed her cheek.
“I love you too.”
He kissed the other one.
“I love you too.”
Then, he kissed her lips. Sweet, soft, and warm. Lingering over the action. Making her heart quiver and ache from the tenderness of it. He pulled back again and smiled at her.
“Thank you, my sweet Chee.”
She was going to cry. She had to bite her lips to avoid doing so. But her eyes were still watering as she smiled back at him.
He leaned down and nuzzled his head against hers.
“I suppose it’s time to get back to work. We have to turn that fancy cup into that boss of yours. Then we can go back home and get on with our lives.”
Her heart dropped.
Oh.