INDIE SEPTEMBER #2
“Please, I want you so bad. Taste me,” he says, his hands going into my hair, which is a mess and half falling out of my clip.
It’s been tugging at an area near my temple, and Teddy seems to sense this because he undoes the clip and tosses it across the room.
His hand runs through my hair and he gently cups the back of my head, not pushing down, just resting there. “Please, baby…”
"You ask so nicely."
Keeping eye contact, I lean down and lick from bottom to top, swirling my tongue around the head and tasting him. Up and down, I move at a slow tempo. He seems to like that more, and his blunt nails gently scratch at my scalp in a way that makes me purr.
“Fuck—honey—God, baby—” Teddy stumbles over his words, each ending jagged. “Your mouth feels—oh fuck—”
I hum happily around his cock, before licking from bottom to top again. His eyes roll in the back of his head and I smile, taking him as deep as I can, his pubic hair brushing against my nose.
Whether with a man or a woman, I’ve always liked giving head. I like the power and control it gives me. I like pleasuring my partner. I like the challenge of making them come.
But with Teddy, it's different.
Better.
“Indie, honey—baby—I’m gonna come—fuck,” he gasps out. I keep going, signaling I want him to come in my mouth.
He groans out my name as the orgasm makes his entire body tense. I feel his cock pulse in my mouth and swallow, humming happily again because I know the vibrations feel good. His hips twitch lightly from it, and I laugh, pulling off of him and smiling as he lies boneless against my bed.
I crawl up next to him, settling in the crook of his arm. He pulls me to his chest, pressing a long kiss to my head.
“I’m ruined,” he murmurs, pulling back to meet my eyes. He’s sweaty, his eyes cloudy, and there’s a huge smile on his face. “Thank you, baby.”
“You’re welcome,” I smile, nuzzling my cheek into his warm hand. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”
“Really?”
“Definitely by the second not-date—”
“Second date,” he corrects, making me laugh. “I’ve wanted you pretty much from the moment I saw you, Indie. Then I got to know you, and I just... fell for you more and more.”
I must make a face because he asks softly, “What?”
“It just…” I mutter. “It surprises me.”
“Why?”
“Because I assumed that you would want to be with someone... like some pretty, earthy artistic girl or like some pottery babe, you know? Someone who would understand your art and... you.”
“I’ve never shown my art to anyone, Indie,” he admits, shaking his head. “Not even Nana.”
That shocks me. He’s so close with Ellie. He says they have the closest relationship out of all the grandchildren. The fact that he hasn’t shown her his art but has shown me is baffling and yet... touching.
But I need to know...
“Why me?”
There’s not a second of hesitation as he answers me.
“Because you’re Indie,” he says simply. “Brilliant, kind, weirdly obsessed with eighties music even though that era is god-awful and the seventies are far superior—”
“You take that back!” I point at his face.
He grins, catching my hand and kissing my finger.
“I respect your very wrong music tastes,” he chuckles and presses a kiss to my head at my harrumph. “And you make me laugh.”
I must make a face again because he chuckles.
“You have a direct line to my funny bone, honey.”
My chest warms. “I like it when you call me that.”
“Honey?”
“Yes. It’s sweet,” I sigh, laying my head on his chest and smiling when I hear him let out a rumbling sigh.
Teddy tilts his head down, “What?”
“You’re just like a big grumbling bear—”
He laughs loudly at that.
“What?”
“Bears love honey,” he says, and I freeze.
He can’t mean…
A dangerous hope grows in my chest.
And when I tilt my head up to look at him, he’s already looking at me. His expression shows no regret, just pure honesty.
“Oh...” I whisper, realization crashing into me.
One side of Teddy’s mouth quirks up.
“I love you, Indie Miller.”
You know that time right after a firework explodes? You see the light, awed and there’s this brief moment of silence before the boom? Then you can feel the powerful sound in your chest?
That’s what this feels like.
“You do?”
Teddy doesn’t flinch.
“I’ve never been in love before, but I asked Nana once how she knew she loved Pop. She felt more nervous away from him than she did around him. That he made her feel safe…”
I smile at his words, remembering Ellie’s description of her husband, and how in love they were.
Are, I correct myself.
I once heard from a former patient’s family that grief is love with nowhere to put it. Ellie still loves her husband even though he’s gone.
“You make me feel safe, Indie,” Teddy smiles. “That’s how I know.”
My throat is too tight to speak right now, so I just lean forward and press my lips to Teddy’s. His big hand cradles my cheek as our lips slowly move against each other.
Teddy loves me.
Teddy loves me.
Teddy loves me.
“You make me feel safe,” I admit once we pull back, Teddy’s eyes brightening at the words.
It all falls out of me, tumbling over each other all at once. My lack of control over my words around Teddy should be concerning, but I choose to believe that it’s a good thing. To speak what’s on your mind without fear of ridicule.
“You make me feel so at ease. I’ve told you things I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone before,” I huff a dry laugh. “You know, I’ve never even told anyone how I got my name before.”
His eyes darken.
At our eighth not-date, he asked about my name, Indie, and whether it was short for Indigo or some other cool name. And instead of saying, "Yes, my name is Indigo, but I prefer Indie," as I have in the past, I told him the truth.
Teddy had looked horrified, and I can imagine why, given the family he came from—where they’re each other's everything. He hugged me for more than fifteen seconds after that one.
“I’ve never been in love before either, but I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to feel like this,” I say, his eyes widening. I take a breath and jump. “I love you, Teddy.”
And I do.
It wasn’t something that I had been thinking about, because my mind was just occupied with Teddy. My first thought in the morning, and my last thought before sleep, and every spare thought in between.
Teddy feels like he’s practically vibrating underneath me, but he closes his eyes and gathers himself.
When he opens them, the green is so clear and bright.
“So, Indie, would you be my girlfriend?”
“I sometimes need to be alone,” I blurt out instead of the YES, my mind is screaming. I don’t want what we’ve had so far to be false advertising.
I’m not easy to be with, and I understand that. I need him to understand, too.
“It’s nothing personal. I spend all day talking to patients, to my coworkers, and my superiors, and it’s a very heavy job.
I tell people they’re dying, or they have cancer and need to come back for treatment, or that they’re cancer-free,” I say, speaking clearly and firmly.
“It’s emotionally and mentally taxing, so I will sometimes need to just... exist alone for a bit.”
Teddy’s facial expression only becomes more tender the more I talk. I think that’s a good sign.
“As I said, it’s never personal, it’s... survival,” I bite my lip, waiting for him to protest. “And that happens maybe three times a week. I will never just go off the grid; I’ll always let you know beforehand.”
Teddy just shrugs and pulls me in tighter.
“That’s all I ask. I like having time to myself too,” Teddy grins. “I find drawing alone peaceful, and I can focus better, so alone time is good. And there are times when I want to hang out with my friends. I think alone time is healthy.”
“Really?” I ask, pleasantly surprised.
“Really.”
“And I sometimes clam up in public,” I add quickly, half wanting me to stop, half wanting to challenge him.
“I get nervous at parties or other social functions, so I usually just keep to myself, but that makes people think I’m a bitch or that I think I’m better than them.
I don’t; I just struggle to control my facial expression when I’m not at work.
I devote so much focus to keeping it on the clock because it’s life or death there that when I’m off, it falls by the wayside. ”