6. Indie #3
“So… my mom’s always been extra protective of me,” he says, and I feel my body go still. “She’s just… never really thinks anyone is good enough. It’s not her decision who I date. Nana always said to follow my heart,” he grins broadly. “And it’s firmly pointing to you.”
I burrow into his arms and kiss his chest. “Okay.”
“She just wants the best for me, and it’s you, Indie. There’s literally no better.”
“Don’t put me on a pedestal, Teddy,” I say, though I’m smiling at his words. “We’ve been dating all of five minutes.”
“And remember what I said, Indie,” Teddy counters. “Anything I don’t know yet, I think it’ll just make me like you more.”
“I hope so,” I whisper.
“I know so,” he nods, his tone firm and final.
“There’s…” I trail off, unsure how to approach this.
After what we just shared, the passionate sex, the connection, the fragile trust I feel building in me for Teddy. I’ve trusted him with my body, with my space, and now I’m trusting him with my heart, no matter how terrified I am to do so.
“What?”
“I know we haven’t been dating very long, but I’m very practical about things, and I would rather talk about these things now before I fall even more in love with you—” I pause briefly at Teddy’s shit-eating grin at the reminder of my feelings.
I gently poke his side, and he lets out a rumbling laugh, kissing my hair.
“But I don’t want to freak you out about… future talk.”
“I won’t get freaked out.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Even talking about marriage?”
“That’s the natural progression of things.”
“Even my career potentially taking me to another state?”
Teddy shrugs. “I’d like to see the world.”
“Even… kids?”
Teddy’s eyes brighten. “You want kids, Indie?”
“One day,” I admit, my voice quiet. “When I’m an attending and established and married and… not saddled with medical school debt.”
“How many?” Teddy asks, sounding eager.
“Definitely one. Two, at the most.”
His smile turns a little dreamy as he murmurs. “A little you, a little me.”
The image is so vivid in my mind.
A mini Teddy, with big green eyes, his big smile, rolling around with his daddy as they wrestle in the living room.
And a little me, with my hair and eyes, jumping in the fun, tag-teaming with her brother to pin their daddy.
Turning to me, calling for mommy to help them.
Or maybe a little girl with Teddy’s green eyes and dark hair, and a little boy with my blonde hair and blue eyes.
It doesn’t really matter what they look like, because they’ll be half-Teddy and half-me. And they would be adored from the second they exist, and will always know it.
They’ll never grow up like me. They’ll know that their mommy and daddy love them. And as I meet Teddy’s tender gaze, they’ll know that their mommy and daddy love each other too.
“But that also leads to other conversations.”
“Other conversations?” Teddy asks, frowning. “What do you mean?”
“About the household.”
Teddy looks at me blankly.
“Like family dynamics,” I blurt, ripping the bandage off. “Would you want one like yours, or would you be fine with me being the breadwinner and you taking care of the house? Or would that make you feel… emasculated?”
Teddy frowns, tilting his head. I sit up, turning to face him, and he sits up as well.
“I want to make this clear, Teddy, because I’ve worked so hard and I’ve spent an ungodly amount of money.
This career—this life—requires sacrifice.
I need my partner to understand that my career takes precedence,” I say, though I’m quick to add, because I don’t want him to think he’s less important than a job.
“Not over our relationship, but in the decisions about… our location, and childcare, and who needs to take off if one of them is sick, and—”
“Indie, breathe, honey,” Teddy soothes, and I realize how out of breath I became with my ranting rambles. I feel embarrassed that I let it all spill out of me.
Teddy pulls me into his arms, and I settle into his lap. For the first time in maybe ever, I feel small and dainty and cared for.
And I really like it.
Teddy gently rocks back and forth, and then his next words knock all the air from my lungs.
“I think being a stay-at-home dad would be pretty cool.”
I look at him sharply. “Really?”
“Hell yeah,” he nods. “I love kids, I think it would be fun.”
“And you could work on your art!” I say, feeling excitement thrum through my veins. My mind is already working through the logistics of our potential future fantasy. “You could practice with the kids, you could even go to art school if you wanted.”
“Yeah…” Teddy breathes, cradling my face in his hands. “You really believe in me with my art.”
“Teddy, I think it’s your calling,” I say, before cringing. “As corny as that sounds.”
“It’s not corny, Indie,” he says, shaking his head, leaning in to kiss me. Just as our lips touch, he murmurs. “It’s wonderful. You’re wonderful.”
We don’t say anything else, we just kiss and kiss and kiss, enjoying each other, enjoying the peace.
But as we kiss, my mind replays one thought.
Please don’t break my heart, Teddy.
Please.