7. Indie #2
Dawn squawks, “Mother!”
Ellie motions for me to grab my place card, so I do, handing it to her. She places it right next to Teddy.
“There,” she brushes her hands together. “Much better.”
“You don’t have to throw it,” Dawn mutters, grabbing the thrown place card and then completely rearranging the rest of the table. She huffs before painting a smile on her face. “Now, I need to go check the turkey.”
“Baste it!” Ellie yells. “It was dry as hell last year!”
“It was perfect,” Dawn tosses over her shoulder. “You just believe butter is a food group.”
“If it weren’t bread and butter, I’d be a size 2,” Ellie tells me, reaching out to take my hand and pulling me to sit next to her.
Men’s laughter sounds from the living room, Teddy’s among them, and it mixes with the women’s voices from the kitchen.
“Should I offer to help?” I ask Ellie, pointing to the kitchen.
Teddy and I brought a couple of gluten-free sides that I can have, but I still feel awkward not helping out in the kitchen. Even putting together a charcuterie board or something.
Ellie raises an eyebrow. “You want to be in there where she has easy access to knives?”
I deflate.
“Why does she not like me, Ellie?” I ask. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No, Indie girl,” Ellie sighs, brushing my hair back in a soothing motion. “You’re perfect for Teddy. That’s the point.”
“I thought mothers would be happy that their sons found someone who makes them happy.”
“Normal mothers, yes,” Ellie nods, her mouth twisting. “Dawn was… well, everyone always said she was my mini when she was growing up. Her sisters idolized her. I raised my girls to be independent thinkers, but… I might have pushed them too hard.”
I frown, unable to picture the Stepford-like woman in the kitchen as the free spirit that is Ellie.
And it makes me feel sad.
“When Dawn turned seventeen, she started to rebel,” Ellie’s face is a mix of heartbreak and disappointment.
“I wanted to catch her smoking pot and reading Atwood, not throwing away her jeans and reading Hildebrand. I thought when she went away to college, and was exposed to more theory, more diverse people, things would change.”
“They didn’t,” I state, gesturing vaguely around.
“No, she started dating Teddy’s father. Came home and said she was dropping out and marrying Judd Williams.”
“She never finished college?”
Ellie huffs. “Judd was inheriting his father’s electrician business. He would make money, and she would stay home to take care of the kids.”
“Oh,” I frown, glancing at the family photo hanging on the wall.
Teddy is a young teenager in it, smiling at the camera with his mother’s hand on his shoulder.
Stephanie and Danielle are smiling tightly in the picture, sitting in front of Judd, and all three look like he’d rather be anywhere but there.
“It was horrible to hear,” Ellie’s voice is angrier than I’ve ever heard. “When we were newlyweds, I couldn’t even open a bank account without Ted’s permission. Thank Christ my husband was who he was. I marched in Chicago for women’s rights, and I felt like my daughter was spitting in my face—”
Ellie’s breathing becomes a little labored, and when I fuss over her, she waves me off.
“I’m fine, Indie girl. I’m just tired.”
“Do you want to go up and rest?”
“No, I need to tell you this,” Ellie says, sounding desperate in a way that unnerves me. “This is my own personal failure. I pushed too hard, and all it did was make her pull away and fall right into Judd’s arms. Her wedding felt more like Dawn Ambrose’s funeral—”
“Dawn, bring us a couple of beers!” Teddy’s father’s voice barks from the living room.
“Yes, dear!” Dawn dutifully replies, and I see her hurry to the living room, arm laden with bottles of ice-cold beer. “Can I get you anything else?”
“No—get out of the way, you’re blocking the game!”
“Of course,” Dawn says serenely, and I watch as she returns to the kitchen.
Before she disappears around the corner, she makes brief eye contact with me. I wince at the smile she wears, wide enough to crack her face from the force behind her keeping it there.
It’s a normal interaction, based on what I’ve seen over the past year, and it still makes me feel sad. And slightly annoyed that Teddy doesn’t speak up in defense of her.
Even though I don’t like Dawn, and she doesn’t like me, it’s the principle behind it.
But the thing is, I don’t even know if Teddy sees anything wrong with what his father does.
He never treats me like that. He never expects me to serve him. He knows I don’t enjoy cooking, so he will put together dinner for us and pack leftovers for work the next day.
He speaks proudly of my career to his friends, laughing when they rib him about being my sugar baby one day. He treats me with deep respect and is loyal to the bone.
He’s the most wonderful partner. I assume it's all because of the woman sitting next to me.
“June and Robin had always idolized their older sister and modeled themselves after her. Including husbands just like hers. Which is how we got—” Ellie gestures to the kitchen, and then to the living room.
“June and Robin’s children were always closer with their father’s parents.
They’re my grandkids, and I barely know them.
So, Ted and I concentrated on the children we could—Danielle, Stephanie, and Teddy.
Especially when I saw how Dawn was with Teddy. ”
I raise an eyebrow. “She’s always been like—”
“Since the moment she found out he was a boy,” Ellie says. “June and Robin had their sons, and there was a weird… competition between my daughters. Dawn was jealous. I knew that. So, when she found out about Teddy, it was like the earth shifted.”
“But why?” I ask, bewildered, but also in denial. “Why was a son so important to her?”
“I think you know why, Indie. You’re a smart girl,” Ellie smiles sadly.
I nod.
Ellie smiles fondly now, “Teddy always loved his Grandpop. Ted was Teddy’s favorite person in the world. Those two were attached at the hip.”
I smile at the loving expression on Ellie’s face.
“But it was like a tug of war growing up with them. Judd was always at work, and when he’s home—well, you’ve seen him.”
I have.
Sitting on his recliner in the living room, watching television as he’s waited on hand and foot by Dawn.
“Felt like every time Teddy would come over to our house, we were focused on deprogramming him. He would yell for his sisters to get him a drink or demand one of their toys or a snack, and Ted and I would firmly shut that down. And made sure the girls knew to shut it down, too. ‘You can walk your little bird legs into the kitchen and get it yourself!’”
Ellie and I share a laugh at that, Ellie coughing slightly, which wipes all the humor from my face. “Ellie—”
“Our children are blank slates,” she says, gently cutting me off before I can speak about a doctor’s visit.
“And they need to be guided, but ultimately, they’re going to make their own choices.
As a parent, you just want to make sure that you give them the tools to choose right.
And the humility to apologize when they choose wrong. ”
Ellie leans forward, both hands holding mine, and she whispers.
“I’ve done everything I can for Teddy. You are the person he needs now,” Ellie smiles brightly, squeezing my hands. “You are the love of his life, Indie girl. If my damn cancer was good for one thing, it brought you into our lives. And you’ve painted it with so much color.”
“I don’t…” I trail off, feeling uncomfortable.
I don’t know what she sees. I cannot see what she sees, what Teddy sees. I like to think that I am a good girlfriend and that I treat Teddy well.
I’ve heard before that the most romantic way to love someone is to see them, not just look at them.
And I hope that Teddy knows I see him.
For someone who grew up unable to afford gifts for friends, and who didn’t have friends to buy gifts for, it’s become my favorite love language.
For Teddy’s birthday, I bought him a whole new pack of charcoal last month and a brand-new, engraved, leather-bound sketchbook.
I bought him a couple of books on famous artists, their portfolios, and techniques.
His eyes pooled with tears when he opened it at dinner with his friends, and he kissed me hard in front of all of them.
I’ve already bought our flights for London, and I'm excited to surprise him with the first-class tickets. I’ve decided to go all out, especially since I’ll be with Teddy and I want to spoil him a bit.
The closer the vacation gets, the more excited I am.
And then finally, the fixer-upper we toured on a whim in Cape May for my interview last month. Teddy and I walked through the house, and he described all the ways he could make it our dream home while preserving its original, historic bones.
“Don’t doubt yourself, Indie,” Ellie leans forward, holding heavy eye contact. “And do not make yourself smaller to fit in here.”