Chapter 35
Luke
I’d been strolling through the city for over an hour, letting my feet decide where to go because my head sure as hell couldn’t.
Ethan and his fucking comments. Did he think I didn’t know all this? It was to fuck with Hazel. Remind her who I am. What I’d never be for her.
It was the truth, but he was deliberately hurting her. I was hurting her. As much as I wanted to be with her right now, I knew eventually we had to put a stop to this. We were leaving in two days.
I checked my phone. Six missed calls from my mother. Another session with the complaint department. Ignoring them, I headed back to the hotel. When I returned to our room, it was quiet, but the lights were on.
“Hazel?” I called out, searching for her. No response. Suddenly, I spotted the open balcony doors. She was sitting on the ledge of the thick concrete railing, her earbuds in.
I approached her. She turned, sensing me as I leaned against the balcony door. We were on the third floor, so I wasn’t too enthusiastic about the ledge.
“Hey,” she said softly. Her smile was like warm milk. Or heroin. Instant gratification.
“Hi.” The silence with her felt comfortable. “I needed some fresh air,” I smiled back, offering an excuse for my disappearance. I didn’t have to. We were both at the table.
“Me too,” she said, lifting her arms off the railing. My heart skipped a beat. She shouldn’t be there.
“It’s a bit dangerous on the ledge. Want to come inside?” I cleared my throat, trying to sound unbothered, though sweat trickled down my spine.
Hazel grinned, glancing down. “It’s not that high.” She got up, and I tensed. Like a lion before pouncing on its prey. Why was she doing that?
“Hazel.” My voice dropped, warning her. “Get down from there. Now.” But she only smiled wider, teasing me. I searched my memories, trying to remember if she was drinking at the restaurant.
“Oh, come on, it’s not that bad. You’re just a chicken,” Her voice was playful.
Soft enough that I knew not to take it personally.
Her words didn’t bother me, though. It was her choice to walk the railing.
My heart pounded. She didn’t seem drunk or uncoordinated, but with her next step, while searching for balance, she leaned too far left, and. .. NO!
I lunged, yanking her hard toward me. Hazel fell into my arms, and I locked her in a grip so tight it felt like holding on was the only thing keeping me together.
Stupid, stupid girl.
Hazel’s delightful laughter sliced the air.
I let out a shaky breath but refused to let go.
After a moment that felt like an eternity, her hands slid to my shoulders and, slowly but firmly, pressed into the tight knots.
My muscles loosened under her touch, and I couldn’t stop the shiver that ran through me as an intense wave of relief began to spread.
Why did it feel like this?
The sensation was quiet, growing steadily, curling through me in tiny, almost imperceptible motions.
“Haze...” I exhaled, pleading, surrendering, lost at what was happening to me all of a sudden, but no coherent thought came. I couldn’t explain why my chest felt lighter, why my shoulders, for the first time in years, didn’t carry the weight I thought was permanent.
My frame softened against her, tilting into her almost involuntarily, incredulous at how effortlessly she seemed to make sense of me. Reading me, following the bolt of pleasure in my muscles, and adjusting her touch as she went.
“I know,” she said softly. Instinctively, I buried my head into the crook of her neck, my arms tightening around her small frame almost against my will, getting lost in her scent.
I wanted to push it away, to rationalize it, to remind myself I’m not supposed to feel this.
I don’t need this. I don’t need anyone to fix me.
And yet, my body betrayed me, relaxing into her, seeking more.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean to make you feel worse.” I felt her fingertips grazing my neck now, leaving a trail of fire in their wake.
She’s safe. I’m safe, too.
I exhaled, sliding my arms along her back. She made a sound that I realized just now, I wanted to chase forever.
I felt her breath.
I felt her kindness, and I felt her heart.
“You never make me feel worse,” I murmured, brushing my lips along her jaw, tucking her hair behind her ear to expose her neck. Hazel sighed. My lips slowly found hers, and I pressed my forehead against hers.
Hazel’s fingers slipped under my collar, which felt like heaven. We swayed in the evening lights, lost in our own world. Somewhere in the distance, people were chattering, cars honking, but we could’ve been the last two people in the world. I wouldn’t have noticed the difference.
I took her hand in mine, our bodies moving together to the non-existent music, every part of me touching her. A breeze lifted her hair, her scent overwhelming me. My fingers pressed into her back as we danced, tugging her closer.
“I’m sorry... for tonight,” I whispered.
“You don’t have to be,” she said, her breath tickling my neck. She smelled clean and fresh. Some of her hair was still damp.
I snuck my hand under her oversized T-shirt, caressing her bare skin. She felt safe. She felt like home.
“Were you in the shower?” I put a light kiss on her jaw, and she shivered. I loved it.
“Yes, but I think I need another one.”
I smiled, pleased at her words. I kissed her and slowly lifted her, her legs wrapping around my body.
She was my contradiction in the most beautiful way.
I ached to have her right then and there, yet wished I could pause time to stay in that moment a little longer.
I wanted to leave a trace of myself on her lips so every taste afterward would remind her of me, but more than that, I wanted to just hold her.
Like something the world didn’t hand out often.
I wanted to slow everything down and let her feel how deeply I saw her.
How much she mattered. Not just in the fire between us, but in the quiet that came after, when nothing needed to be said.
To show her everything she made me feel—the thrill of the fire and the peacefulness of the sea.
Her kind soul and brave heart were my compass, and I followed it.
With slow, deliberate steps, I carried her toward the shower, hoping she would feel everything my heart was trying to say. That I cared, even if some part of me whispered I shouldn’t.
Like it wasn’t my right to feel this. Like I hadn’t earned it.
Like loving her was a privilege I didn’t deserve. But selfishly, I took the chance while I still could.
* * *
“I have a question,” I said lazily, gliding my hand down her leg as Hazel lay on the bed, watching me curiously, sheets twisted loosely around her waist.
“Maybe you should work for it first,” she teased, catching me off guard. Some predator instincts kicked in.
“Oh, I can work for it, sweetie.” I was about to drop my head between her thighs, but she dragged my head up.
“No, no, I’m just kidding. Ask me.” Her palm went to my cheek, her softness pulling me back.
“What’s your plan after this break?”
“What do you mean?”
“At Watson’s, you said you’re taking a break from the future.”
“Ahh.” She exhaled softly, lowering her eyes. “Not sure that’s particularly interesting to you.”
“You seem particularly unsure tonight,” I murmured, grazing her inner thigh. She shifted under my touch.
“Even though I love making you speechless...” I caught her nipple in my mouth. She gasped and arched into me as I swirled around her with my tongue. Like a cherry on top of my dessert tonight. “...I like hearing you talk, too.” I let her go and smiled reassuringly. It was the truth after all.
“Well, if I could do anything I want, I’d probably be an editor,” she said shyly.
“Why couldn’t you do anything you want?” I asked. She gave me a skeptical look. “Watson said it himself, you were one of his best students.”
“He just likes to flatter.”
“Hazel.” I propped myself up on one elbow and cleared my throat, holding her gaze. “Watson’s an author, but he’s also a businessman. Even though he agreed to work with us, it wasn’t an easy sell.”
“But Ethan said—”
“I know what Ethan said.” I pushed out a breath. “It was way harder than he made it sound. We spent hours going over every detail. That man’s a beast. He has no time for bullshit, and he’s definitely not into fake flattery.”
Hazel listened intently, letting my words sink in.
“If he says you have potential, I believe him. And so should you.” This time, she didn’t dismiss my words.
“I just...” She hesitated. “When my mom died, the world felt a little too much for me.”
A fragment of her soul slipped through her eyes when they met mine. “I needed to breathe.”
I nodded.
“But I do want to go back to my future. I just haven’t figured out how yet.” She gave me a small smile. I let my hands slide down the full length of her legs, my gaze following. She was so goddamn sexy. And sweet, too.
“Well, whenever you’re ready...” I stopped myself, realizing the words I wanted to say next.
...I’ll be here.
But I won’t, right?
“I’ll be right back,” Hazel said, suddenly getting up, and I felt the familiar emptiness right away. It was unsettling this time.
“Where are you going?”
“Lady business.”
“Oh, you mean peeing.”
She let out a fake gasp, pretending ladies never did such things, and I laughed. Her long, wavy hair cascaded down her back, revealing her beautiful, bare ass as she walked to the bathroom. I literally had to bite my fist, groaning at the sight in front of us. By ‘us,’ I meant my penis and me.
Don’t worry. She’ll be back.
Nice! I was having a mental conversation with my own dick. What had I become?