Chapter 51
Hazel
“SHUT UP,” Mady yelled out. I nodded. “He loves you! He loves you? He LOVES you?!” she repeated the same sentence, her voice rising with each word.
“That’s what he said.” I drew in a big breath. Mady was caught between shock and disbelief, but her mouth hadn’t gotten the memo, because she was grinning.
This morning, when I showed up at the coffee shop and told Thomas I’d pay for all damages caused by Jackson, he just called me ridiculous and sent me home. When I objected, he swore he would call the cops on me.
I picked up Mady from the airport, and we went straight to her house, where I told her everything that had happened the previous night. She listened wide-eyed, stunned in a way I’d rarely seen from her.
I had to admit, I chickened out. There was nothing more Luke could’ve said to make his intentions clearer. To make his love louder. Maybe if I just had a moment to breathe, to think, I could sort through the tangle of emotions inside me.
I closed my eyes, as if retreating into myself, as his words drifted through me, tangling with fragments of last night.
I love you. I’m sorry to tell you this now, but it’s the truth.
I felt his hands on me, his breath on my neck.
You deserve to be chosen, every single fucking day.
Luke’s head bowing between my thighs, his fingers digging into the soft curves of my hips.
I choose you, Hazel.
I felt him everywhere. His warm touch was imprinted on my skin like freshly made ink, forever changing me. Making him part of my life.
I rested my forehead against my bent knees, the weight of exhaustion pressing heavily on me. A deep, weary sigh escaped my lips.
“Hazel, why are you still here? Why aren’t you with him?” Mady brought me out of my daydream.
“Because...”
“Because what?” I didn’t know. I couldn’t explain it. “Do you think he lied?”
“No, I... for a brief moment maybe, but the things he said yesterday, Mady...”
She sat next to me on the ridiculously large couch she bought John last Christmas.
“So, what’s wrong?” she asked, her voice softer than usual. She reached over and squeezed my hand.
I stared straight ahead, unable to meet her eyes, a lump rising in my throat
“What if... what if he only thinks that now? What if he changes his mind?” Saying the words out loud hurt even more than when they merely threaded through my thoughts, coiling like ivy around the walls of my mind. “What if he gets bored with me? What if I’m not good enough for him?”
I knew how that sounded. I wasn’t some pathetic, sad little girl. I knew I was a good person. But handing over the pieces of myself to someone else felt heavy, knowing that in the past, offering those pieces had only ever been a burden.
It didn’t matter how sincere he’d looked, how sure his voice had sounded. Doubt had a way of creeping in, whispering ugly possibilities in the quiet moments. He knew that better than anyone.
“Ahh, Hazel,” she exhaled. “You’re really good at giving love, you’re just not very good at receiving it, honey.” She brought me into a hug.
“Listen,” she said, leaning back and putting both of her hands on my shoulders, forcing me to look into her eyes. “Luke is changing his life for you. Not just rearranging the furniture, but actually tearing down walls of his own damn house, brick by brick.
“Yesterday, when I told him about Jackson, he almost had a panic attack. He was terrified, babe. For you. And listening to everything you’ve told me, it’s real. He’s real.”
“I think that maybe after everything that happened with my dad and Jackson, I think it messed up my head. It’s just... hard to believe.”
You should take your aunt’s advice and practice.
Millions of thoughts were rushing through my mind. It was hard to keep up. Or silence them.
“I get it. There was a time when I thought I wouldn’t survive the pain of a heartbreak.
I was fucked up for a long time.” Her gaze drifted for a moment, as if remembering something distant and heavy.
“But then I met John. He was kind to me, funny, and very persuasive.” She added the last word, laughing.
Mady and I weren’t such good friends back in high school, but there was a lot of pain coming from that part of her life, so I never pushed her on this. The only thing I knew was that she met John a couple of years later and fell in love.
“What I mean to say is things change. People change. I know they do because I changed, too. Past sometimes makes people do stupid shit, but it’s not locked in stone.
It just takes the right person.” She smiled at me reassuringly.
“Or a lot of time,” she added. “But I think you have a jackpot here, honey.”
The rest of the week drifted by in a haze, and yet agonizingly slow. I was working most shifts, but Luke never left my thoughts. I met Logan, Alex, and Ethan on separate occasions. Even Norah came by once, and we reminisced about the trip.
“Damn, I have to admit, you serve really good coffee here. I’ll come here more often,” Norah said as I brought her the third flat white and sat next to her in the booth while Thomas and the new barista handled things.
“Don’t you work all the way across the city?”
“Yeah. So?” she pish-poshed my question, not bothered one bit. “I’m my own boss. In most cases.” I just laughed and shook my head.
“How are you holding up?” Norah asked in a softer voice. I hesitated. Why was she phrasing it that way?
“He told you?” My breath caught.
“I wouldn’t call it that. He looked terrible, so I more or less forced it out of him.” My heart sank imagining those lines, once joyful creases on his face, deepening by the day.
“He didn’t say much, just that you were in danger of some kind.” I knew he wouldn’t tell anyone about this without my permission. Even to Norah. This was the most he could share with his family.
“I’m okay,” I said, but it didn’t sound believable. In fact, a small child could tell I was lying. I guess I didn’t even try. Judging by her face, Norah didn’t believe me either.
“Also added something about how he’s desperately in love with you and his life would never be the same. Nothing specific, just some vague thoughts,” she grinned, and I groaned, letting my forehead fall on the table with a sound.
After a moment, her voice softened. “He told me you’re his person.” My eyes welled with tears as I raised my head. “Whether you know it or not.”
“He did?” I whispered, and she nodded. After a long pause, she spoke again.
“I also found out that lately running helps him clear his head when he has trouble concentrating.”
The change of topic threw me off guard. “Yeah?”
“Yes. And what’s even more interesting, he always runs at the same time. 6.30 AM.” I arched my eyebrow in surprise, knowing he wasn’t a morning person.
“He does it every day.” She raised the cup to her lips with an inexplicable look before she added, “Even on Sundays.”
Why did she...? Oh, tomorrow. I looked at Norah. She winked at me, gave a quick kiss on my cheek, and was gone before I knew it.
I was his person.
The moment the pace slowed and the noise dipped to a manageable hum, I wiped my hands on my apron, steadied myself, and walked over to Thomas.
“Hey,” I started quietly, but... practice, Hazel, practice. “I know it’s last-minute, but...” I exhaled slowly and met his eyes.
“I need tomorrow free.”