Epilogue
Hazel
“She’s not going to change her mind, sweetie.”
Luke’s silky voice came from the bathroom.
He was standing in front of a mirror, a towel around his waist, and a razor in his hands, slowly gliding down his cheek.
I was standing in the living room, biting my finger as another voice was scolding me through the phone.
I don’t know if I felt guilty because of Mady’s persistence or aroused by the things Luke’s towel was hiding. Probably both.
Even though I was sure Jackson wouldn’t bother me anymore, Luke still didn’t let me be alone.
He either walked me home or spent the night at my apartment.
Most nights I spent at his place, as it was bigger, so after a couple of weeks of this back and forth, we moved in together.
I thought it was too soon. Not because I didn’t want to, but I still held on to the irrational fear that maybe we’re not completely compatible.
Which was ridiculous because even though he was the one oozing confidence at every party, I was way cooler than he was. Yes, I said it.
Acknowledgment mostly came from Luke himself bragging about me on every possible occasion.
Either it was my knowledge of the human body, tattoos, English classics, or how I convinced him to cliff jump that one time.
Those all seemed trivial to me, but it helped me gain confidence in myself.
That feeling of trying to earn people’s love slowly dissipated.
It had been a full year, and we were going strong.
It was my birthday today, and I had asked Luke not to buy any balloon arches this time.
It was Mady’s wedding tomorrow. We were planning to spend the evening at Logan and Norah’s with the usual bunch, plus Mady.
John had decided to stay at his best man’s place tonight to prep for the wedding tomorrow.
I tried to convince Mady not to come too, since tomorrow was the most important day of her life, but she categorically refused.
“What am I? An old lady? Tomorrow’s my day, but today is yours. There’s no way I’m skipping this. See you later. Byeeee,” she said and hung up, not letting me fight her. I looked at Luke, and he smiled with an annoying I told you so.
“That’s what you get for making friends and letting them love you.” He hugged me with his wet hair dripping on my shoulder and kissed my forehead. His warmth always calmed me.
“Yeah. It’s the worst,” I murmured, my mouth pressed to his chest. I breathed in his oaky scent and put my arms around him. My body relaxed, and he hugged me tighter.
The evening was nice and quiet. Ava made me a birthday cake, and we played board games. It felt good to be among friends, laugh about stupid shit, and not have this constant need to reciprocate.
I also quit my job at the coffee shop. I was finally ready to move on.
I started to work for a small publishing house.
They didn’t have a lot of clients, but the ones they did have were very talented and had a massive fan base.
There was an immense potential, and I felt like I could really grow here.
I didn’t take my dad’s offer, but over the year, I began to reach out to him more. It wasn’t much, just small steps, but it was something. Maybe one day we would be closer, but for now, I was content with the relationship we had.
I did, however, practice, practice, practice. I practiced until, one day, I called him for a recommendation to the publishing house I had applied to, knowing he could help.
I figured I would ask. If he helped me, I would be grateful. If he didn’t, that was fine, too. There was no pressure. I didn’t feel the excruciating need for his love anymore. The ones I needed were here for me, no matter what, and gave their love and support without asking.
Luke was convinced our friends loved me more than him. I told him it was absurd and that they just teased him more often. But he only smiled and said it was fine, because he loved me more, too. And I believed him.
As far as I could tell, Luke was very cautious about introducing me to his parents.
He tried to shield me from them, but he didn’t have to anymore.
I felt strong with him by my side. Whatever his decision was about letting them into our lives, I would support him.
The most important part was that they didn’t take his light from him.
His heart. He’d promised me he wouldn’t let that happen, and I promised I’d keep it safe with me.
It was dark outside when we slowly stumbled into our apartment. Luke’s arms were wrapped around me as I opened the door, his mouth on my neck, giving small kisses.
“Mmmm,” I hummed.
“I love how you make that sound,” he murmured, his lips grazing the skin, and I shivered.
“I love how you make me make the sounds that I make,” I said, having trouble concentrating on the correct words.
“Are you hungry?”
“Not for food anyway.” I tightened his arms around me, and he groaned, rolling his hips.
“I have something for you,” he murmured.
“Yes, I can see that.” I arched into him and pressed my ass into the bulge in his pants. He just laughed. “Luke, you already gave me new books, and then there was the weekend getaway. It’s too much.”
“Technically, that didn’t happen today. I don’t think that counts.”
“You also gave flowers and made me breakfast this morning.”
“You have an awfully low threshold for too much.” He turned me around and brushed his lips to mine.
“It’s nothing huge, I promise.”
“Lies I’ve heard before.”
He groaned, crushing his lips to mine and slowly backing me up until my legs hit the couch. “Sit.”
I shrugged off my jacket before settling onto the couch, tucking my legs comfortably beneath me. Luke returned from his room, hands behind his back.
“Close your eyes,” he instructed.
A small, crunching sound came from somewhere just out of reach, but I couldn’t distinguish what it was
“Okay, open them.”
I did, and in front of me was a chocolate creamed cupcake with a small cherry on top. A grin spread across my face. I’d bet my whole paycheck there was cherry filling inside. A tiny candle stood proudly atop it.
“I thought we already had a cake.”
“Well, this one isn’t for the same occasion,” he said with an intriguing voice, lighting the candle. “Today is not just your birthday.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Do tell, what else is today?”
“Well, it’s an anniversary. A year ago today, I held you in my arms beneath that huge tree in the middle of Portugal,” he said, looking deep into my eyes. “And fell desperately in love with you.”
Damn, he’s good. A smile as big as the sun itself appeared on my face, and heat overtook my chest. I was probably as red as that cherry.
“So make a wish, sweetie.”
I closed my eyes. For a moment, I didn’t think there was anything else I’d ever need than this. Right here. So all I could wish for was that I never lose it.
I opened my eyes and blew out the candle. When my eyes reached his, it was as though nothing else existed. I was his entire world.
I leaned across the cupcake, closing the space between us, and captured his lips with mine in a hungry kiss. The moment my mouth parted, his tongue slid in, warm and sure, like he’d been waiting for permission all along.
“Mhmm, now you have to tell me your wish if this is the response.”
“Haven’t you heard something about you can’t tell it, otherwise it won’t come true?”
“I will find a way to make it come true.” He leaned closer, stepping between my legs, and trailed his lips along my jaw. I went into a haze, getting lost somewhere between his words.
“Just tell m—”
“I want you to marry me.”
We both froze.
Oh my God, what did I just do? Why did I just say that?
He wasn’t ready. It’s only been a year. Why on Earth couldn’t I keep my mouth shut?!
His face was stone-cold serious, probably thinking about how to get this crazy bitch out of his apartment now.
“No, no, no, no, no,” I panicked. “I take it back.”
He slowly got up and walked to the entrance. He was barely ready to be in a real relationship, and I propose a marriage? How stupid was I?
I ruined it. And especially today, after such a lovely day, week. The whole year, actually. I watched everything burn in slow motion, as if I had struck a match and tossed it into all we had built.
My palms started to sweat, and my chest rose with chaotic breathing. Instead of walking out on me, his hand slipped into his jacket, pulling out his wallet.
“No,” he repeated, this time in a voice laced with confusion.
“No,” I replied firmly.
He took one slow step toward me, eyes steady, pulling something shiny out of the wallet. My breath hitched, and I went from complete panic to utter shock.
A ring. A gorgeous diamond ring, surrounded by tiny crystals, that shimmered even in the dim light of the room.
“So no,” he said once more, calm as ever. Like he was just clarifying an issue over a spreadsheet. Or if he wanted pickles on his burger.
He lowered himself to the floor, meeting me at eye level, holding it between us.
“So if I ask a question, it’s going to be a no?”
This time, I could hear the smile behind it, the one he used when he was sure of something.
“No?” I whispered back, and he smiled. “Where did you get it?”
“I’ve had it for a while now,” he said softly. No nervousness in his voice. No panic.
“How much is a while?”
“Six months, I think. Maybe a year, who remembers it now.” He shrugged his shoulders. I stared at him in disbelief. A year???
“Hazel, I knew it that day at the park with your silly balloon, that you were it for me. I didn’t want to scare you or rush you. I just... I wanted to be ready when you were.”
A small tear prickled the corner of my eye.
“Are you sure? Are you sure this is what you want?” I asked, my voice small.
The biggest grin appeared on his face. “I’ve never been surer of anything in my life, sweetie.” His warm palm found my cheek. “So don’t say no. Say yes,” he gazed into my eyes with a hopeful look. “Will you marry me, Hazel?”
“You know, your birthday gifts to me keep getting better each year. I don’t know how you’re gonna top it next year,” I teased him, and his dimples deepened. I couldn’t believe this man loved me.
“Is that a yes then? Instead of a no?”
I nodded, and he leaned in, kissing me hard, laughing into my mouth, deliriously happy.
It was maddening how much he consumed me.
I started to unbutton his shirt, and we got hungry for each other as we matched each other’s energy.
And soon after our clothes disappeared, so did any doubts that he wanted me as much as I wanted him in my life.
Luke made me braver. He taught me to stop and ask for what I really wanted in life.
And, lucky for me, what I wanted most was him.
The whole world lay open before me. I just had to dare to ask.